Should I Or Shouldn't I

[JenniferB]

I still excited to be here, but in a somewhat different way.

When I started to understand about Transsexuals, my heart was touched in a special way. A way that hit me profoundly to the point where it was all I could think about. Now it's closing in on two weeks later and my feelings haven't dropped off one iota.

I can relate to the transgender community because I've gone through some of the same struggles many here have gone or are going through and that's where I received my compassion. I already know what it is like to be one step from homelessness. And fighting for your life to survive.

One way I feel at home here and in another way I don't. What I like is LP allows a person to be themselves. Plus this is the first time in my life I actually felt like I could help some people. I've never had that feeling before. I don't feel like I belong here because I've never been married or had children. And that weighs heavy on me since I just passed 50. Still I'm very happy for those who did make a life for themselves. My heart has never felt envy or jealousy. In that way I am blessed. But how can I help teenagers in crisis when I've never been a parent?

As far as wanting to transition, fear has started to creep in now that I'm becoming familiar with the struggles transgenders have. And I think that fear is a good thing as long as I don't let it take control. If I follow through it mill motivate me. It definitely makes you think long and hard what you will be getting yourself into.

Do I have GID? I don't know. I am realizing I want to be a women, but I don't know if I am a woman. And surprisingly I feel very comfortable with a woman's name and avatar. Although I wouldn't mind changing the Susan name, mainly because there already is a Susan here (Julie is a name that fits). However I'm starting to realize this feeling isn't going to go away either, or at least any time soon. I really wonder why I didn't feel this way when I was young. I feel very confused about this.

Anyway I plan to introduce myself next month to the local trans organizations and receive input on where to find the best GT, Hair Stylists, etc, Laser/Electrolysis, etc... Still I want to wait at least three months before committing. I want to be really sure about this. Plus I would need to prepare some kind of safety net if everything fell apart.

Susan

BTW I just found out I really like flowers.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Aww Susan honey ( or should I say Julie )

Please don't feel left out because you haven't been married or don't have children, there is more than a couple of us that are in similiar situations. I am curently 40 (Ooooo I really don't like the sound of that ) mmmm 39 (that's better ) and have no children and have never been married. My longest relationship lasted only a year and my second longest only a couple of months, I just never felt comfortable getting that close to anyone. But that doesn't stop me from offering a little compassion or some advice to the younger people here and it shouldn't stop you either. Whether we are married, have our own kids, both or neither we all have useful advice for others here, everyones own perspective on life is different and important.

Hey honey, I'll let you in on a little secret. Your advice will make a difference.

LUV

Jean

BTW I love flowers also.

[Sally]

Susan or Julie,

Being married or being a parent does not come with an instruction manual - you either learn as you go or you just don't ever learn.

We would like to think that parents know more but have you watched this latest generation of children as they scream and run wild through the mall - I am not too impressed with the parenting skills of many parents.

Be sure of what you want to do and find a therapist to help you find your place on the gender spectrum.

I was 50 win I finally got married - I didn't learn any helpful lesson during the following 5 1/2 years before she left - I have learned a lot about divorce and lawyers but nothing much about what a marriage should be like.

You have a lifetime of experiences to draw on and that is what the teens need is to hear about how life can effect them as they grow and maybe how to avoid some of the mistakes that we have made.

You should feel free to offer your opinions whenever you like, this is a support site and it seems like you want to give support as well as receive it.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Shiratori]

But how can I help teenagers in crisis when I've never been a parent?

You (and I) may have never been a parent, but we've all been teenagers at some point.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hey, Susan......

Me?

60...MTF and never a parent.

Married, though......

It's our life experience that we impart on the young ones....

You don't have to put your hand in a fire to show young people that will hurt (some will try it anyway...I did!)

We have years of experience that is easily transferable....

And , Honey....this is exactly where you belong!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest viv]

The posters so far are right Hun,,,you are obviously a kind

hearted woman and most of the time that qualifies you OR

anyone to advise and share your experience with the young

uns here . Re you tho ,,,,have you sat with a Gender Therapist

yet ??,,you will find a lot of answers you seek there imo. In

the meantime keep in touch with us here ,,,the company aint

bad ,,,,,,luv,viv

[Guest KellyKat]

Don't feel alone Suzan.

I'm 42 never marred and no children.

Any questions that I answer come from the heart.

You don't have to be a parent to have caring and love in your heart.

We have all lived a lifetime of experiences. From these we draw our advice.

Luv Kat

[JenniferB]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. It is cormforting to know that there are others who are going through similar circumstances.

Now if I would proofread my posts better, perhaps I wouldn't have so many sentence fragments.

One last thing, I got to work and turned on my pc to find I had 5 trojan viruses. Now it's shut down and I can't complete my work until it is fixed. We are still using IE 6.

Susan

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Susan/Julie

Honey - you are in a place you never have been before, apparently. I have several post op - several preop trans friends - both MTF and FTM. I have several androgyny living friends. I think I know one intersexed, she transitioned so well and so fast...

The point? We seem to be all the same - true - BUT - we are all different!

You will find you are what you are and that will be okay.

And children? I have three grown children. It has been the highlight of my life that I have them - and yet if I had transitioned early? No kids.

Marriage - I liked it so much I kept trying it! BUT it is really impossible to stay married if you are trans unless you stay within what I consider impossible boundries. I am looking for unconditional love - and seem to have found it! OH MY - but I cannot do anything about it for a long while! I hope to live a long time , but my 63rd birthday is coming up! YIKES!

Will Elizabeth be what she is finally, and find true happiness - stay tuned...

Susan - Julie - both good solid names, you ARE a part of Laura's. Never doubt that! And I am happy you are starting to discover who you really are - wherever that takes you! And yes - I confess - it took a while to 'get it' about transsexuality at first, and I was 100% transsexual at the time. We know about the tiniest craters on Mars, but we don't know much at all about gender dysphoria.

So I don't know if this helps... a bit of ALL OVER THE PLACE, unfortunately, it's my tendancy to be that way. BUT I finally know what I am and have accepted that! Not tooooo bad it took 61 years...

hee hee

Lizzy