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Guest CattalieChan

I'm feeling fairly good, but as usual it's a kind of bitter sweet feeling. Hey! tame that cat! I tried to hold his paws and he clawed me!

*goes to dance with Matthias Blake instead*

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I understand.

There are so many things I don't want to be in my life anymore.

But most cannot be changed.

So you go on after a few minutes of raging about it and change what can be changed. I'm sick of hearing the Serenity Prayer but there is a good reason for it's name and for it's longevity.

Accepting what we can't change and changing what we can is the only way to find any peace.

So go ahead and let the feeling out-then put it aside and go on.

Believe me I DO know how desperately hard that can be. But I also know it can be done.

JohnJ

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Can you deliver for me? My car is DOA in the driveway. Not sure the best way to transport but I'm not picky.

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Dead On Arrival-a term that is used when a patient arrives dead at a hospital. The forms would be marked DOA and it has become slang for something dead or defunct

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You are not responsible for what anyone else chooses to think. If you ave been true to yourself-to who you are and done your best then there isn't anything to feel guilty about and someone is just trying to put the burden for dealing with their feelings off on you.

It isn't like you had any choice in this. And ignoring it-or being untrue to yourself isn't really a choice either.

So I'd say that I regret that they feel that way and leave it at that. You can't win an argument usually when someone wants you to feel guilty. And you can't change their feelings. That's up to them. Not your responsibility.

JohnJ

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Agreed. No one in this household seems to want to take responsibility for things gone wrong. It's easier to blame someone else, and my family and I are usually the scapegoats. I tend to get angry, almost to a rage, but when I calm down I try my best to ignore it. I know what happened, I know who's responsible, I will not carry the consequences for someone else. That's when it's time to move on to something I want or need to do, leave the rest for them to figure out. There is no winning arguments or convincing them, there's just burying it while it's still warm and moving on.

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Umm...Pól? The steering wheel is on the wrong side of that car! :lol:

Leaving aside your misguided notions about the "right" side of a car, you're missing the point entirely :lol:. The aston martin is a thing of beauty.

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Leaving aside your misguided notions about the "right" side of a car, you're missing the point entirely :lol:. The aston martin is a thing of beauty.

You may be happy to know this is my current wallpaper on my laptop

Wallpaper

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And what makes a car more stunning?

Oh yea!

You may be happy to know this is my current wallpaper on my laptop

Wallpaper

You have me drooling at 9 AM on a Sunday.

I'm seriously contemplating changing my background to the same, at the moment.

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You have me drooling at 9 AM on a Sunday.

I'm seriously contemplating changing my background to the same, at the moment.

Aye! Fantastic car, amazing background! This! This is how I want my photography to start to look like! I'd love to start taking photos of cars especially cars like this in various locations!

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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not to justify it, but this is what happens when folks rely on accepting money from the government.  It just isn't secure!  When the times change and different winds blow, you find yourself coming up short on funds.  Don't trust the feds, don't trust the state.    I don't believe in separation of church and state.  I believe the USA is a Christian nation, but that Congress doesn't make an establishment of which kind of church that refers to.  Reading the writings left by the Founders (who were mostly Christian or Deist), I think it is pretty clear that they wanted to avoid the bloody Protestant vs. Catholic conflicts that had been going on in Europe for the previous 250 years.    I think one huge problem is that we've had a separation of culture and state already.  There's been an abandonment of traditional American culture, or at least a significant change in it.  People often act servile, not independent.  People seek government help rather than taking care of themselves and those around them.  Its like everybody is waiting for an answer, like baby birds in the nest chirping to have something delivered to them from up above.    To me, the federal government has two purposes - to keep foreign forces and influence out of our territory, and to tax foreign trade to protect domestic economy.  They've pretty much failed at both. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, yes!  Its how I met my two trans friends.  My husband helped to arrange jobs and housing for both of them.  And in the process, they also fell in love, and so far their relationship is going well.  I'm glad to have been part of helping out.
    • KathyLauren
      I am not sure what "it" you are asking about.  The surgery, or the increased urgency of peeing?   I haven't felt any increased urgency.  I can hold it for as long as I used to, I think.  One thing that is different is that, once I start, it is almost impossible to stop the flow.  My pelvic floor physio said I had really good control of my pelvic floor muscles, but it didn't help with that.   My goal for surgery was just to have a female body.  I think I was foreseeing the persecution that is rising now.  Part of my reasoning, though I didn't plan it out clearly in those terms, was that I would be able to pass a strip-search gender check.  I was thinking more about passing in locker rooms, but passing in police lineups may be more necessary if certain political elements get their way.  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow.  That's crazy that somebody just comes onto your private place and starts demanding stuff.  You're absolutely right to press charges.  It seems like there's very little respect for private property these days. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, my husband has two different job titles at his company.  He's transportation manager, and also one of the project managers.  Its funny because he's got an office in the main building, and a smaller one in the transportation building, and he's rarely in either one.  He's got three site foremen who report to him, and also the shop supervisor and drivers' supervisor.  So he usually spends his days at installation sites, meeting clients, or handling all the paperwork that keeps the transportation side of the business compliant with FMCSA rules.    But he's definitely a truck driver by personality, and he taught me how to drive and helped me get my CDL.  Kind of a backup option for a job if I ever needed one.  I think this week is going to be one of those "all hands on deck" kind of occasions, so we'll probably take a load or two.  I'm looking forward to it.  Its really funny when I'm driving and we get into a truck stop.  I get out of the cab, and I get a lot of stares because of my size and looking like I'm a teenager.  And we get more stares when we share a shower.  
    • Lydia_R
      Yep, this thing is a red flag that people should be super aware of on this site.  I've been working from home exclusively for 12 years.  I'm a house cat like that, so this isn't much of a deterrent for me.  I've been venturing out into the women's restrooms a little bit lately, but as is typical of people like me, I'm just in there to do my business and get out.  I avoid that as much as I can and use those single bathrooms whenever I can.  I went over a year without going to a public restroom.  I just don't go out much.   I haven't stood to pee in 7 years now.  The idea of surgery is very, very scary for me (I wrote a book about it).  I'm likely going to do it though.  I would like some evidence from other transwomen of what it is really like.  I'm not one to take plane flights, but taking a flight for that is well justified.  Before my testosterone was blocked, there was a much larger sexual side to M->F transition.  Now sexuality plays a back seat to the idea of wanting to pee like a woman.  It's always been in my mind, but the desire for that has grown.   Respectfully, Lydia_R
    • April Marie
      Just a black skort and a yellow t-shirt with sneakers today.
    • Birdie
      Wearing my new top for my Zoom meeting today. ☺️
    • Lydia_R
      I've gotten to the point lately where I'm thinking of the extension of the separation of church and state to separation of culture and state.  Government's purpose to ensure a construct of civility.  Food, clothing, shelter and justice for the individual.  That includes the roads as far as they pertain to the distribution of food, clothing and shelter.  And "ensure" is different than "provide".   I think that there is no way to truly express yourself or have a good foundation without having a personal culture.  I like telling stories and teaching lessons through my culture, but I always hope that people don't think I'm promoting my culture beyond it just being visible as an option.
    • KatieSC
      I would imagine the GOPers are holding that by bull in their hand and paying attention to the Trump version with the nine commandments highlighted.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Having to call the police on a woman that was being a Karen.Was in my shop fixing my car and wanted me to fix hers.Told her it was my personal shop and told her no.Would not take no for an answer and called the police.I did decide to press trespassing charges on her.I knew she was one of those entitled people
    • Ivy
      It is scary, (and as you say, thrilling) at first.  But the more you do it the easier it gets.  I dress fem 24/7 (almost always skirts and dresses) and I live in a conservative county of a "red state".   Sure, there are places I avoid, but I have little desire to be there anyway.  It gets to just be part of who you are.   My experience is that most people don't care, some are curious, and surprisingly many (usually other women) friendly.   The first steps are the hardest.  It's similar with bathrooms.
    • Ivy
      Don't know how this posted itself.  To continue…   There was a time when I tried to make excuses for them.  But I am coming to the realization that in their eyes, I, and those like me, are 2nd class citizens at best.
    • Ivy
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    • Lydia_R
      Oregon has a law that allows you to change your name and gender once in your lifetime without involving the courts.  It took me about 2.5 months to complete and was relatively easy.  It came up yesterday about how I changed my gender on my ID to F instead of X.  I identify with M->F, not X.  I passed over the line into F, but I'm still near the middle in the spectrum.  And I intend to keep going in the F direction.  There is another transwoman named Rachel Rand who is about 10 years older than me and I use her as a model for where I want to be in 10 years.   I'm a proud Gen X'er, but it's based on latchkey arcade games, not gender.
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