My Coming Out Email To Extended Family And Friends

[Guest Girl Emily]

Hello everyone,

It is good to be home again. I have missed reading your posts and the new introductions. You all have become such an important part of my life. Thank you all for the support you have given me. It has truly been life changing and life saving. This is a letter my mom will be forwarding to people she thinks should know. I expect it to include Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and family Friends who know me. Maybe it can stir the imaginations of those who need to write a similar letter. The best part I think is the Post Script. I have been blessed in my transition and I give praise to God for such goodness I have received.

> Dear Family &Friends,

>

> As some of you know I have recently made a trip home to see Mom and

> Dad. In the months leading up to this trip I was filled with angst and

> trepidation. The last 8 years have been somewhat difficult for me. At

> times I felt a despair that I pray none of you will ever feel. In a

> misguided attempt to find relief from the desolation I began using

> methamphetamines. For a while I received some relief, but in the end

> it became clear that it was not going to get any better. At this my

> darkest days I had attempted suicide. By the grace and compassion of

> our Lord the attempt failed. With my last $1.25 I took the bus to the

> VA Hospital San Diego. The care and compassion I received was

> unmatched in quality. They began to heal my broken soul. I spent a

> week on the psychiatric ward before being transferred to the premier

> 28 day inpatient treatment program. The doctor who developed it wrote

> most of the DSM-IV manual on addiction and its treatment. After

> discharge I was sent to a halfway house and began weekly outpatient

> care and additional weekly SAMI Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy to

> help with the depression. SAMI stands for Substance Abuse and Mental

> Illness. This program was also created by the same doctor and is a

> model for hospitals and treatment centers around the world. I was

> involved with this intensive treatment for six months and had tried

> many SSRI's to treat the depression. I was unable to tolerate them

> and restarted Remeron which I had used earlier, but didn't give it

> time to work. Six months of medication and 9 months post inpatient I

> was still suffering severe depression and began isolating myself. I

> had regained my sanity and had began removing the blocks in my self

> imposed prison during those first weeks of treatment and was nearing

> completion and could finally see who was imprisoned.

>

> Before I tell you who was there I would like to share that my journey

> from childhood till now is akin to the Biblical story of Jonah. Like

> Jonah I had a relationship with God. God has a plan for my life. I had

> a desire to serve God, but in order to serve him I had to accept

> myself. For most of my life I could not accept who I was and am now.

> However, I now recognize that I was wonderfully knitted together in my

> mother's womb under the watchful eye of the Lord. By rejecting myself

> I was rejecting God and his plans for my life. Like Jonah the Lord

> broke my foolish refusal to submit. In my broken state I stopped

> fighting and started listening. The moment that I accepted myself in

> willing submission I was embraced in his warm grasp. For the first

> time in my life I felt His peace envelope my soul in compassion as a

> father comforts his child.

>

> With the blocks removed and the pain they contained dealt with, I

> could no longer deny or run away from the person who had hidden behind

> the walls for thirty-five years. Of course it was no surprise to me

> who was there for it was me. What may surprise many of you is the me

> is a she and her name is Emily Ray. There are biological reasons for

> why this occurs and I would gladly explain it to those who are

> interested in the science of transsexualism. It is rare and incredibly

> painful and insidious in its course. I am profoundly blessed to have

> such a loving family who loves me no matter their level of

> understanding. My Brother and Sister have both called me their sister

> and that has brought more joy to my heart then you could possibly

> imagine. I am so very proud of my parents. They have been truly loving

> and accepting of my revelation. Apparently I was a poor imitation and

> they all were not very surprised. For those of you I spent more time

> with you may now look back and see the signs that were always there.

>

> I know that we are a deeply religious and spiritual family. There is

> no doubt you are familiar with the position of many denominations;

> they believe it is sinful and a sexual perversion. It is my desire to

> eradicate that erroneous idea from Christendom. It played a large part

> in my own suffering and the suffering of my brothers and sisters who

> have this spiritual gift. I would be happy to engage in a loving

> debate if one finds it necessary. I will warn you that the sin

> position is doctrinally weak and in light of Christian Liberty I have

> a sound footing. I am for the first time in my life living in the

> light of the Holy Spirit.

>

> As to my future plans, I have began my transition. This involves

> taking Cross Sex Hormone Therapy, in my case estrogen and an

> anti-androgen. Within my first week my depression was gone. I am

> experiencing other changes as well. Perhaps the most pleasurable is

> the ability to cry. The women I am writing to know it can be

> incredibly stress relieving. If anyone wants to know more about the

> physical changes I will happily answer your questions. My plans are to

> begin living full-time as a woman for school this fall. The Lord has

> placed me in San Diego where I can receive excellent medical care and

> the community is safer for me to make this difficult yet wonderful

> change. Many of us relate to the life cycle of a butterfly. I have

> been in contact with my academic advisor at Point Loma Nazarene

> University about my returning to them for my senior year. Dr. Conklin

> has been exceptional in her support and in investigating the level of

> acceptance I might receive upon my return. Dr. Conklin has garnered

> the support of the Department Chair who is additionally an Ordained

> Elder of The Church of the Nazarene. Beyond college I pray that I will

> be given the opportunity to help my younger brothers and sisters who

> are thrown out of their homes because of being blessed with a

> wonderful gift. They suffer the most. They lose their family and have

> no means of support. Many are victims of prostitution and countless

> other indignities. Untold numbers are murdered by their johns. Drugs

> and suicide are the outcomes for to many of them. There are only a few

> homeless shelters that are willing and prepared to help them. Almost

> all shelters require their clients to dress in their birth sex

> clothing. After becoming aware of their plight, I believe it is

> shameful how the church has abandoned these needy souls. If you are

> interested in helping these "the least among us" contact me and I will

> put you in contact with the few places reaching out to them.

>

> Please feel comfortable to ask me anything. I love to teach and at the

> moment I am immersed in this subject. If I can't answer your question

> I am sure I can find someone who can. Education for us is a joy and we

> are often in the position of teaching our doctors or leading them to

> the original source material.

>

> In His Name

>

> Emily Ray Frisbie

>

>

> P.S. I was thinking these last months how much help a natal woman as a

> friend could be.I didn't know anybody that could fit that role. But

> God provides our daily bread and in my case a friend. On my return

> trip home the flight was over booked. I had volunteered to give up my

> seat for a four hundred dollar voucher, dinner, breakfast, and a hotel

> room. It turned out the three extra people didn't show up and I was

> given a seat assignment in the back of the plane. Mom felt I would do

> a better job writing this important letter, so I spent two thirds of

> my return flight composing it. The Lord pressed me to share the letter

> with the woman next to me. As we were nearing San Diego I quickly

> finished and asked her if she wouldn't mind reading it. She was aware

> of how much effort I was putting into it and agreed to read it. She

> liked the letter first of all,secondly she had just seen the movie The

> Prodigal Son which is an indie film by and about a Male to Female

> transsexual and her coming out to her family and hometown in Montana.

> The most amazing fact is she is a Marine we were both stationed at

> Camp Pendelton at the same time. Holly has recently moved to San Diego

> and we all know how difficult it can be to find friends in a new town.

> She is additionally handicapped by self employment that requires time

> at home on the computer. She has graciously offered to teach me the

> finer points of being a woman. I can only hope to be a friend good

> enough to pay her back for her help. And she calls me Emily. The Lord

> will provide.

>

Huggs,

[Guest Donna Jean]

Emily......

What an incredibly beautiful letter....it held me the whole time that I was reading it.

And I know how you treasure the support from your family....

Very nice...

Good luck, Hon....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

Emily that is a wonderful letter. It is from the heart and if someone doesn't accept you after reading that, then they are missing out on a wonderful and caring lady.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Hoslers_wife]

I just had to pick my jaw up. WOW. That is one of the most well articulated letters I have read in sooo long. I love how you incorperated your beliefe system into it so well that not a sane person in this world could object. That was so beautiful and it is bound to open the eyes of even the most narrow minded bigots. Good for you honey!

Love,

Chelsey Hosler

[JenniferB]

Emily,

What a beautiful , loving, and caring letter. It's easy to see how much this means to you, and the time and effort to get it right. Thanks for sharing this.

Love Susan

[Guest Cris]

Emily,

That was a very beautiful and well thought out letter. I liked how you touched on your religious beliefs and how they have become so much stronger with your acceptance of Gods gift. Transsexuals are a creation of God and we are formed by Him. If only the rest of the world would get that.....

I wish you much success along your journey

Cris

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Heartfelt and moving!

Thank you for sharing!

Lizzy