What, Do Ya Do?

[Guest Sannara]

I can be impaitient, and on this new journey I add apprehensive at times as well. So, While I have to wait, as I can't afford re-visiting the therapist just yet, I wondered what are some things one may do at such times.

And I'm not out in public yet, so I'm not sure I just want to walk out the door just yet. I do imagine and think about it, but not yet. I guess I just want to talk it out to be sure and be comfortable with myself. I've a few yet unanswered questions I've asked my thearapist last we meet. Enough there. I don't want to get detailed or rant.

I was sort of thinking of a filler activity, exercise, diet, Karate class, humm? along those lines. Any book that was realy worth reading? Or a manditory read? Good Movies? Skills to work on?

Ex. Women talk differently then men. I've worked hard on not slipping into that feminine mode at the wrong times. But I remember difficult moments when I failed to do or say what was required or expected. Truly, some embarrising moments. Some aspcts can be natural, but I'd like to learn more. I had no sisters to clive from.

Current solution: I paint and write now, and I must say, you all have already influenced the direction of my expressions.

And I want to thank you all for just being here. Its the only place where this part of me has any communication with others. I feels a little like, when you reach the surface after a deep dive and take that first breath. It's all your thinking about. and it feels good.

So what do yah do in between steps?

Hopefully I'm making sence. Love to you all--Sannara

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

well I immediately focused on getting myself healthy and in-shape. although it's still an ongoing process, albeit slowed down without T flooding my system. It is very important to me to have a good figure, and loosing weight is easier to do on T, it's also important, to get rid of fat on typical male areas, I want a flat stomach so that I can wear cropped tops etc. and then if I put some weight on, I want it to go on my hips, butt and breasts. (just not too much).

I'd also been taking really bad care of myself for a very long time, and I had to start getting that under control, I needed to prove to people that this was a change for the better in every respect, that I looked, felt and functioned better as my trueself.

It also feels good, because it's something very active, you feel yourself working at it and track your progress day by day. so you don't feel like you're just waiting around for other stuff to happen.

[JJ]

The changes in my mind are happening so rapidly I haven't felt I had any time but I spent a lot of time coping and distracting myself before.

Have you read Terry Prathcett? Fantasy on the surface but really wry, funny and enjoyable social commentary. He is Britain's top-selling author and found in fiction rather than fantasy in the library. He very subtly deals with gender issues too. There are so many subtle jokes and meanings in his books I read them over and over -always finding something new. The great thing is if you don't get the joke you don't realize it's there. I wonder how much I'm still missing.

And I game-I can be my true gender and keep my mind sharp at the same time. Can't tell you how happy I am to ave an excuse to play. It's good for my aging brain! I prefer RPG like Oblivion or Final Fantasy. I got hooked on Farmville and Petville on Facebook (can't figure out why but they're addictive-maybe because I'm in control and can accomplish something?) but since my awakening and finding Lauras my crops keep withering and my pets are in the pound.

As far as slipping-I've always known I thought and spoke more like a man and while it made people uneasy no one ever thought transgender. I would have figured this out a lot sooner if they had. As long as you keep the pronouns straight I think at best they'll think you've become an unusually perceptive and sensitive guy-at worst they may vaguely wonder if you're gay but I doubt it'll be more than a passing thought. After high school I don't think most people really care much unless the evidence is right in their faces. They've just got too much else to deal with. We just become so sensitive ourselves it seems like everyone else is.

And there are so many wonderful places to go and things to do were you are. The museums are phenomenal-or were a couple of decades ago. I never heard much negative about anyone's gender expression- but you'd better watch out if your car was polluting or you advocated clear cut timbering. I know it varies from group to group but that was my experience.

Hope some of this is of a little use.

Hugs

JJ

[Guest ricka]

Hi Sannara---It's not unusual for people who are awaiting going on hormones or getting the go sign for surgery are in a holding pattern. I would have to disagree with this at least for myself. Transitioning is all about a myriad of details---small steps that add up over time. My own journey does not include hormones or surgery, at least for the foreseeable future, but I am transitioning nevertheless. One goal that I had set for myself was to have a circle of friends who know and accept me as a woman. I spend regular girl time attending to myself to have the appearance I want as a woman----keeping my legs shaved, using body lotion, shopping for clothes and jewelry , keeping my nails manicured, working with my make-up etc. I walk for exercise primarily. All of these things take time and attention and the changes happen over time, not instantly. I'm not interested in being bone thin---I love having natural womanly curves but I do eat healthy and exercise. You say that you paint. Expressing your femininity in the arts is a great idea---it all works together becoming who we are as women. I long ago stopped feeling self-conscious about having female mannerisms when I am in male mode. I've always been naturally effeminate and that is just who I am. Hope this is helpful. It's difficult to express in words but I find more and more just taking the time to _be_ who I am as a woman is a huge part of transitioning for me. It's like having our minds, souls and bodies come into harmony with each other.

Hugs, Ricka

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Two ways - - there are the long tern goals to acheive - there are the day to day things do!

Long term - is pretty obvious:

Lose Weight (or gain it for some) - but get that shape you want (MTF need to slim down - FTM need to bulk up the upper body)

Voice - especially MTF but also FTM - especially inflection, vocabulary, timing of expressions

Compiling a wardrobe - getting gender approriate day-to-day clothing and accessories, shoes

And MTF specifically? Growing out your hair, electrolyis - ear piercing

So that's what can be done awaiting therapy - awaiting SRS - awaiting HRT or T

......

Short time? Varies according to the person - GREAT suggestions above! Terry Prathcett for example is one of my favorites! And there are great books to read - post on it specifically as a TOPIC!

Genealogy - now there is something that you can spend HOURS doing. It is EXTREMELY slow going work sometimes - with magnifficent breakthroughs. It is the main thing that taught me "the impossible only takes longer" - and you learn so MUCH - I for example was looking to see how all my people died - which let to all but three of my immediate generation died of stroke! NOW that will open your eyes (one suicide, one cervical cancer, one lung disease from smoking) - so the high blood pressure I have had all my life, now I know! Dangerous! (HRT solved that by the way)

Another time using activity - help people here at Lara's - I spend a minimum of four hours most days - I consider it something I was put on earth to do, help the gender dysphoric, God only knows, literally, why I am gender dysphoric myself. And working here? It is satisfying - I cannot reach everyone - but I don't think I am intended to do so. And it is much superior an activity than, say, watching TV - especially as I am addicted to the HISTORY Channel - grin!

And hobbies? Being transsexual is a hobby! Before you laugh? I have an unique situation where I can scour the counrtyside for antique jewelry - FOR ME!

And Ebay - IF you can control your spending and emotions. Looking for bargins - monitoring the bids you made - knowing you can't win EVERYTHING - ha!

And gaming on ithe internet. I don't do that anymore - tooooo addictive!

So there are a few suggestions.

Elizabeth

[Guest Opal]

Hi Sannara!

Just wondering. Have you ever been to any support meetings in the Denver area? I live far enough away that I have not ever been, but perhaps it might be worth checking into, in case you haven't already done so. Here is a link to one of them

http://www.gicofcolo.org/support-meetings.aspx

Right now I am working on my weight. Once there, then maybe some more on clothes. Am also starting to work on my voice and makeup. Yes, the waiting can be a real hassle, but its all part of the process.

Take Care,

Opal

[Guest Sannara]

Thanks you, I like you approach to the longterm aspirations. "focused on getting myself healthy and in-shape" the reason "to prove to people that this was a change for the better in every respect, that I looked, felt and functioned better as my trueself.

Thank you, i am Sam. Good advice for me to keep in mind when setting the new goals I'll be needing to work toward. As I have been uncomfortable about future interactions with similar concerns.

Hugs Sannara

[Guest Sannara]

The changes in my mind are happening so rapidly I haven't felt I had any time but I spent a lot of time coping and distracting myself before.

Have you read Terry Prathcett? Fantasy on the surface but really wry, funny and enjoyable social commentary. He is Britain's top-selling author and found in fiction rather than fantasy in the library. He very subtly deals with gender issues too. There are so many subtle jokes and meanings in his books I read them over and over -always finding something new. The great thing is if you don't get the joke you don't realize it's there. I wonder how much I'm still missing.

And I game-I can be my true gender and keep my mind sharp at the same time. Can't tell you how happy I am to ave an excuse to play. It's good for my aging brain! I prefer RPG like Oblivion or Final Fantasy. I got hooked on Farmville and Petville on Facebook (can't figure out why but they're addictive-maybe because I'm in control and can accomplish something?) but since my awakening and finding Lauras my crops keep withering and my pets are in the pound.

As far as slipping-I've always known I thought and spoke more like a man and while it made people uneasy no one ever thought transgender. I would have figured this out a lot sooner if they had. As long as you keep the pronouns straight I think at best they'll think you've become an unusually perceptive and sensitive guy-at worst they may vaguely wonder if you're gay but I doubt it'll be more than a passing thought. After high school I don't think most people really care much unless the evidence is right in their faces. They've just got too much else to deal with. We just become so sensitive ourselves it seems like everyone else is.

And there are so many wonderful places to go and things to do were you are. The museums are phenomenal-or were a couple of decades ago. I never heard much negative about anyone's gender expression- but you'd better watch out if your car was polluting or you advocated clear cut timbering. I know it varies from group to group but that was my experience.

Hope some of this is of a little use.

Hugs

JJ

JJ, Nice to meet you. You make me feel like I'm at the top of a rollercaster and while I may feel things are slow now, I need to just give it a minute and I may never talk of things being slow ever again.

I'm encourgaged, anticipation grips me a bit.

And No, I will have to look up the works of "Terry Prathcett" sounds very interesting. Thank you.

As, for Facebook games you, have a Zookeeper here. And it is, too addictive. But I'd Love a good game of chess every now and then. Hard to find players though!

I appreciate the observation on peoples behavior. I'll hold it, for those moments of weakness.

Thanks and Hugs --Sannara

[Guest Sannara]

Two ways - - there are the long tern goals to acheive - there are the day to day things do!

Long term - is pretty obvious:

Lose Weight (or gain it for some) - but get that shape you want (MTF need to slim down - FTM need to bulk up the upper body)

Voice - especially MTF but also FTM - especially inflection, vocabulary, timing of expressions

Compiling a wardrobe - getting gender approriate day-to-day clothing and accessories, shoes

And MTF specifically? Growing out your hair, electrolyis - ear piercing

So that's what can be done awaiting therapy - awaiting SRS - awaiting HRT or T

......

Short time? Varies according to the person - GREAT suggestions above! Terry Prathcett for example is one of my favorites! And there are great books to read - post on it specifically as a TOPIC!

Genealogy - now there is something that you can spend HOURS doing. It is EXTREMELY slow going work sometimes - with magnifficent breakthroughs. It is the main thing that taught me "the impossible only takes longer" - and you learn so MUCH - I for example was looking to see how all my people died - which let to all but three of my immediate generation died of stroke! NOW that will open your eyes (one suicide, one cervical cancer, one lung disease from smoking) - so the high blood pressure I have had all my life, now I know! Dangerous! (HRT solved that by the way)

Another time using activity - help people here at Lara's - I spend a minimum of four hours most days - I consider it something I was put on earth to do, help the gender dysphoric, God only knows, literally, why I am gender dysphoric myself. And working here? It is satisfying - I cannot reach everyone - but I don't think I am intended to do so. And it is much superior an activity than, say, watching TV - especially as I am addicted to the HISTORY Channel - grin!

And hobbies? Being transsexual is a hobby! Before you laugh? I have an unique situation where I can scour the counrtyside for antique jewelry - FOR ME!

And Ebay - IF you can control your spending and emotions. Looking for bargins - monitoring the bids you made - knowing you can't win EVERYTHING - ha!

And gaming on ithe internet. I don't do that anymore - tooooo addictive!

So there are a few suggestions.

Elizabeth

Thank you for the responce, Although I like the Idea of "Being Transsexual as a hobby" It makes me concider, what I might hunt for and collect as an expression of me. As I just realized that I've never realy thought of wearing jewelry. But, after a little thought here, I think I'm going to drop by "Ebay"just to see what's there. --A Curiosity feeling.

I do have more questions, especially on the question of wardrobe, make-up, wigs and voice, but I'll do a little more reasearch first before I come crying.

-- Sannara

[Guest Sannara]

Hi Sannara---It's not unusual for people who are awaiting going on hormones or getting the go sign for surgery are in a holding pattern. I would have to disagree with this at least for myself. Transitioning is all about a myriad of details---small steps that add up over time. My own journey does not include hormones or surgery, at least for the foreseeable future, but I am transitioning nevertheless. One goal that I had set for myself was to have a circle of friends who know and accept me as a woman. I spend regular girl time attending to myself to have the appearance I want as a woman----keeping my legs shaved, using body lotion, shopping for clothes and jewelry , keeping my nails manicured, working with my make-up etc. I walk for exercise primarily. All of these things take time and attention and the changes happen over time, not instantly. I'm not interested in being bone thin---I love having natural womanly curves but I do eat healthy and exercise. You say that you paint. Expressing your femininity in the arts is a great idea---it all works together becoming who we are as women. I long ago stopped feeling self-conscious about having female mannerisms when I am in male mode. I've always been naturally effeminate and that is just who I am. Hope this is helpful. It's difficult to express in words but I find more and more just taking the time to _be_ who I am as a woman is a huge part of transitioning for me. It's like having our minds, souls and bodies come into harmony with each other.

Hugs, Ricka

Thank you, You remind me to keep in mind, it's a journey. And one I need not be so self consciencious about, or at least try not to be.

--Sannara

[Guest Sannara]

Hi Sannara!

Just wondering. Have you ever been to any support meetings in the Denver area? I live far enough away that I have not ever been, but perhaps it might be worth checking into, in case you haven't already done so. Here is a link to one of them

http://www.gicofcolo.org/support-meetings.aspx

Right now I am working on my weight. Once there, then maybe some more on clothes. Am also starting to work on my voice and makeup. Yes, the waiting can be a real hassle, but its all part of the process.

Take Care,

Opal

Thanks Opal, and no I haven't visited this group but I will be looking up this group in just a bit. Thank you.

--Sannara

[Guest BeckyTG]

Sweet Sannara,

First off, welcome to the group. You have finally found a whole lot of people that you have something in common with. We understand, we really do.

Good suggestions so far. Mine may sound a little bizarre, but it will help your mind a lot: Dress up and go out.

Whoa! This is not quite like it sounds, yet. Start with women's socks and shoes. Those can be changed out easily, as there are many that might go either way in appearance. Then, buy some slacks or jeans. Again, you can find something that fits and then get a little top that goes with it. You are now dressed in all women's clothes and no one will be the wiser, but *you* will know.

I found a little bag with a strap that looks a lot like a small camera bag and that's my purse. I spent some time shopping for hats and bought a "newsboy" hat that also might go either way. I get compliments on it from men and women alike.

I am now totally dressed female and this is a great feeling for me and won't shake up the outside world, either.

Any time you have to make a phone call or place an order at the drive-thru is a great time to test your female voice. Voice training seems to be the hardest thing for us, but is the one thing that can make us or break us.

There are a LOT of things you can do while waiting. I learned a long time ago that, "all things come to those who wait". I would add that they come a whole lot faster if you work like crazy while you are waiting.

Hugs of acceptance,

Becky

[Guest Sannara]

Sweet Sannara,

First off, welcome to the group. You have finally found a whole lot of people that you have something in common with. We understand, we really do.

Good suggestions so far. Mine may sound a little bizarre, but it will help your mind a lot: Dress up and go out.

Whoa! This is not quite like it sounds, yet. Start with women's socks and shoes. Those can be changed out easily, as there are many that might go either way in appearance. Then, buy some slacks or jeans. Again, you can find something that fits and then get a little top that goes with it. You are now dressed in all women's clothes and no one will be the wiser, but *you* will know.

I found a little bag with a strap that looks a lot like a small camera bag and that's my purse. I spent some time shopping for hats and bought a "newsboy" hat that also might go either way. I get compliments on it from men and women alike.

I am now totally dressed female and this is a great feeling for me and won't shake up the outside world, either.

Any time you have to make a phone call or place an order at the drive-thru is a great time to test your female voice. Voice training seems to be the hardest thing for us, but is the one thing that can make us or break us.

There are a LOT of things you can do while waiting. I learned a long time ago that, "all things come to those who wait". I would add that they come a whole lot faster if you work like crazy while you are waiting.

Hugs of acceptance,

Becky

I like this, I can do this. you just put a big smile on my face. Thank you, It's an awesome approach to breaking that fear of exposure ice. WOW! It's so straight forward I almost popped myself in the head as if in a "V8" commercial.

Thank you Becky,

Hugs -- Sannara