Forgot About Denial

[Guest Ryles_D]

Denial. I had forgotten about denial.

Came out to mom today. By accident. See, I had my first gender therapist appointment, failed to mention what kind of therapist to mom (she didn't ask and sorry if I don't want to explain), being under 17 she had to come in and sign the papers. Of course, he didn't realized I hadn't told her, so he said what he was and such.

When I got into the car she said she figured I was going because "I hate being a girl", which isn't totally true. I'm just not one, nothing wrong with being one, I just ain't. So I got to give the fun "I'm not a girl" talk. Only I didn't really. I told her I wasn't, tried to explain why I felt that way, and she more or less refused to listen. Didn't say anything at first, and then spent the car ride home explaining to me how my she got it so girls could take shop and my aunt regrets her hysterectomy and all these other things.

She also doesn't want me going back to the therapist so I don't "cement" this... I don't know what she considers it. She agreed to two more. But after that, I'll have to figure something else out. Which sucks because after one session I feel so much better. All the other therapists she's been sending me to never had that effect.

Right now I hate my school more than ever. It doesn't let you get a job, so I can't get one and start saving my money and paying for my own sessions. I would if I could, really. This is for me. I don't want to be stuck here with mom complaining about the cost and feeling like it'll be yanked away. The worst thing is mom's complaining like it's my fault she's not got any income (dad's paying child support, so it's my fautl she has any) and it's not like she's even looking for a job. In the car I wanted to scream at her to get a gahram job if she's so worried about money. I've been wanting to for a long while.

And the worst part is I never bothered getting my license, but I really want to go out to some empty spot and yell at the world for a few minutes.

I mentioned it to dad, and he's fine with it. I didn't go into detail, about how I wanna transition to male or anything, maybe later when we can talk alone. It was at Micheals and we were with mom, she was in another section, so, yeah. Couldn't get into it there.

[Guest Tabe]

Wow, I feel for you, man.

I wish I could give some kind of advice, but really, I can't. Just remember that there's a community here that totally understands what you're going through, even if some of your family doesn't.

Hoping for the best.

[Guest KellyGirl]

I have had my problems with parental denial. I can't say I'm a success story though so I'm not sure what to say.