Random Ranting

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

I feel like my world is crashing all around me. Things are building up; emotions are flooding in. I'm lost. I have nowhere to go. There's nothing I can do at this moment to fix it. I'm just stuck. It's like I can't do anything right anymore, at least that's how my family makes me feel. I'm nothing. I can't work and I can't afford not to work. It's a no win situation. I feel like drinking; I haven't even been craving really until now. I've been sober 44 days. I'm frustrated and angry. I just think about leaving... but that wouldn't really fix the situation either. What if I'm always stuck...

Sorry if this really makes no sense at all...

[Carolyn Marie]

It makes perfect sense, Alex. But really, what has changed regarding your family dynamics? I doubt much, if anything.

Since you are unlikely to change them, the only solution is to change you, or your situation. Figure out what you can do to change

things from your end, and stop worrying about how to get them to change.

Make a list of things you can change, prioritize it in order of what's easiest to what's hardest. Work on the easy stuff. Leave the harder stuff

for later. At least you will give yourself some attainable goals. Most important for the list - leave off anything that involves someone else

having to do something for you, or involves someone else having to change, because that ain't likely to happen.

You've no doubt seen the Serenity Prayer before, but this is a good place to repeat it:

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

'

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Micha]

*hugs*

[Guest miss kindheart]

Dear Alex,

<<hug>>

I am sorry that you are feeling this way.

I know I haven't been around allot lately when you are here.

I do miss chatting with you, I wish there was something I could say to make it all better.

Surly you know that there are many here the care very much for you, that love you.

I love you alex.

Please don't give up, things will get better.

<<tears for you>>

vanna

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Alex - I see this post you were refering to. And tell everyone the dynamics - how they MIGHT change for you! That will help with suggestions. I know it sometimes seems dark - and sometimes it IS dark! But it seems nothing ever stays the way it is. So remember me saying I was once convinced I don't belong in this world? And then I told you now I DO feel like I belong in this world? What changed for me?

I transitioned - I did what I had to do. It was horribly difficult for about a year - now I pass easily.

That isn't the dynamics you may be looking for, its just an example that applies to me. BUT the main point is, we either wait for change or we create it. And change does occur either way.

That's the only answer your Aunt Lizzy can offer right now! Keep that self-respect if you can by staying sober. You worked hard to get that too!

And last- I love you!

Lizzy

[JenniferB]

I am sorry you are feeling the way you are Alex. When you get rid of a habit like drinking you have to fill that void with something else. Something you would like to do that is positive. Channel your energy. If you like to build, start building something, if you like to write or draw, do that. The key is to fill the bad habit with a good one. Start a hobby, start reading books that can help you. I don't know if this will help, it's just some ideas.

I hope you feel better soon.

Love Susan

[Guest Evan_J]

It makes perfect sense, Alex. But really, what has changed regarding your family dynamics? I doubt much, if anything.

Since you are unlikely to change them, the only solution is to change you, or your situation. Figure out what you can do to change

things from your end, and stop worrying about how to get them to change.

Make a list of things you can change, prioritize it in order of what's easiest to what's hardest. Work on the easy stuff. Leave the harder stuff

for later. At least you will give yourself some attainable goals. Most important for the list - leave off anything that involves someone else

having to do something for you, or involves someone else having to change, because that ain't likely to happen.

You've no doubt seen the Serenity Prayer before, but this is a good place to repeat it:

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

'

Carolyn Marie

She's all over it.

Said it before I could and sooooo well. You are only stuck (ever, in life) if you accept being stuck. Stop. Shake off how you've been perceiving things . Look from a different angle. Know that your family's views and opinions are only that. They can keep them till hell freezes over but they're not "powerful", they don't keep you from making differences, or changes, or being different or anything in the world unless you decide to stop. If in fact they were powerful, they should all be able to think of what can or can't happen for Evan and have that happen and I PROMISE you none of them can no matter how hard they think it and so they have no power over ANY human.

Sit down and do what Carolyn outlined then . And YOU do you.

[Sally]

Alex,

You knew that I would post here even though we talked about this last night

You have got to learn a lesson that your adopted mother is learning very slowly and that is how important you are as a person, as a member of this community and of society in general.

You are a true artist - not just with paint and canvas but with music and writing as well.

Do what Carolyn said - Evan was right no need to repeat what was said so well.

You have so much going for you - never forget that I love you,son.

Sally

[Guest Aarianna]

Alex,

Mein lieber Bruder,

You are surely not alone. I know at the moment I cannot do much to help you the way I want to and I have not been here to talk to you and to be there when you most need it. But that will soon change I will be settling in to the new place soon and I will be able to be on a lot more and be there for you at least to show you that someone somewhere does and can and will always care for you. Because you are indeed my brother. You mean the world to me whether or not I am here daily or not. You never slip my mind. Right now Alex I feel things are rough yes but things can smooth out just like the roads that we travel on someone somewhere can and will help you smooth out what is rough and help and guide you and be there when you need them most and even when you don't need them. They will be by your side showing you that you do not have to walk the road alone. That is the most scariest things that one can ever feel is being alone, trapped, seeing no way out. I am reaching my hand out to you to show you that in fact you do not have to go at this alone. You have my number and you can call me anytime and text as well. I will respond as quickly as I can. Ich Liebe Dich mein Bruder.

Sie sind nicht geklebt for one can always find a way out. Please do not drink not for me but for yourself. You have been sober this long keep it up and keep telling yourself that you dont need to drink. Say I will not drink. I will not drink. Do something better than to let yourself give in to something that you have and are trying so desperately to stop.

Ich bin auch mit den Dingen umzugehen but please stark bleiben. Du bist stark. You have that inner strength to not give in to what you know you should not do.

Das Leben kann und wird bald besser für Sie. You just have to keep on trying and never give up especially on your dreams.

Gib niemals deine Träume auf

Du bist die Welt für mich mein Bruder.

Es tut mir leid I have not been here but you are not forgotten. You never will be at least to me you wont be.

Ich liebe dich immer und ewig mein Bruder

Angemeldet bleiben stark

Mit Liebe

Your sister,

Aarianna