The Latest Chapter

[Guest Amanda joan]

Hi everyone,

I have been out of the loop for a long time. I moved just after Easter. I live in a different town now. I have shared my being transgendered with just about everyone I care to. The big problem is that at my new place of residence the internet connection is messed up and I am not able to get online with my laptop there. I am still at work now and that is how I am getting here now. I have been doing this allot lately just to keep up with E-mails.

This place looks very different now and I am having a fit trying to find everything I want to find. I guess it will just take some time to get use to. I have decided to transition to living as a woman in the fall. I am living close to that way now except at work. I run my erands en femme and everything else too. My natural hair is getting nice and long and I feel good going out without a wig. I would love to share a picture but, I don't have a camera. I will work on that this weekend. OH!! I am planning on going to the Gay Pride Parade tomorrow in Washington DC. I will be marching in the parade and enjoying the event with many friends. The world does seem to be getting use to seeing me as a woman or transwoman, whatever. I don't really care what most people think about me. The real issue is how they feel about themselves when their around you. I love being out and interacting with others and educating the common folk about what it is like to be transgendered like me. There is allot of empathy out there but, there is still some fear and ignorance. I will not run away from an conflict and that seems to disarm some of them. You need to stand up to the bully only once and then you are free from them.

I have had many difficult weeks with my relationship with my children. As I start to look more and more like a woman. I have decided to give them some time to get use to what is going on nd find their footing. I will not be seeing then for the next few months. Well really just my daughter anyway, my son has not wanted to interact with me in any way for many months. I plan to send cards and make calls from time to time. I will not me spending any time with daughter who is now 8 years old for the next 6 months. I am very concerned about this working out. I feel that it is the right thing to do for her mental health. This is a hard journey and I have given up so much and now I have given up even more. I have my job and my car and that is about it.

For those of you who don't know me in the last 10 months I have moved out of my home, sign over the Deed to the house and stopped going there all together. My Son stopped communicating with me 6 months ago. My ex-Wife who I have known for over 25 years does not like me anymore. My Church closed after a long effort on my part to save it and then merge it with another Church. I am giving close to 75% of the money I make to Allimony & Child support. I am now rent a small bedroom in a small house and living with two ladies, one of whom is the Landlord.

You know what I am fine. God has blessed me with good friends and allot of support from places like this. My future is unknown. The path is not very straight. I have taken on so much but, I can handle it. I am woman hear me roar!!!

Peace & Love Amanda

[JJ]

Thank you for giving me the chance to get to know you!

I admire your courage in facing adversity and your sacrifice for the best for your children! every person like you who is willing to educate those they encounter are making a difference for all of us.

I lived in a rural area in Nebraska with internet so slow I kept a book to read while pages loaded. Drove me up the wall. Patience isn't one of my virtues. I once asked what it would have been like if my mother had named me patience and my entire family cracked up.

LP looks really different today after being down for a day and a half-I read they'll go back to their regular look and format when everything is fully functional again.

Sounds like you have come a long way -congratulations!

Hugs

JJ

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Amanda

I am glad that you posted here again. Happy belated birthday

I am sorry to hear that you have lost communication with your son and your ex. I do hope that the day comes when communication is re-established. It is important.

Like you, I have been giving about 75% of my income to alimony and child support. To see my kids grow up into well-adjusted, loving adults, makes me glad that I did provide the means for them to live in peace.

I wish you well and know that I am always here for you Amanda.

All my love,

Brenda