Work Trouble

[Guest foxy]

well dear sisters i recently delt with my first real discrimination and violence and it happened at the one place i was not expecting it to happen at.

for the past few months i have been picked on at work for being trans, i tried ignoring it... well by ignoring it it started getting worse and worse and others who never said things before started saying things. the comments kept getting worse and worse and i started getting mean evil looks from co workers. well i got tired of it and went to management to get them to stop. it stopped for a day, but then started again worse then ever...

last night it turned into violence. i had told an associate i work with to "shut up" after he kept commenting on the same thing over n over in a 2 min span. well after saying that he got vary vocal, and went into a more deep voice like he had some sort of authority over me, telling me to never tell him to shut up agin, i tryed ignoring it, but he said it again, and then added "wait till after work you'll see" well i immediately went to management as it was a big threat and i didn't want anything to happen after work, well i went to management they asked if i wanted to peruse it and i said i just want the comments and discrimination to stop. well they called my boss in and that associate... 20min or so went by and when he passed me again he glared at me n just said "i'll remember" i ignored it, but later he said it again... well now i was getting scared, i told my boss that he said more and she took me to management told them what happened and they had me fill out a statement and were going to send it to corporate level. later that night he said it agin, so i asked to be escorted to my car after work... i am glad i had.... turns out he was waiting outside the doors to the store with his car on and running just waiting there.... the manager saw and mentioned something.... i hope this all stops...

but i got this feeling that he'll end up fired for his acts and its just going to make him more mad... i no longer feel safe at work or even walking to my car...

though i have come to one conclusion threw all of this... its much scarier to have people you know say mean and threatening things then it is for people whom you don't know.

now that i think about it, would you say its wiser to have just kept ignoring the comments or was doing something about it right even though it now has me feeling as if i have a target painted on me.

well least if you hear something about an associate being run over by another associate in a walmart parking lot you'll know who it was that got run over

[Guest 91curiouskitten]

Well, Im not a girly girl, I paint my nails red so that the blood under the nails isnt noticeable >.> But you handled it better then I, we are the same until the asking for an escrot, maybey its being a teen, or maybey who I am, but I woulda went out there hoping for him, teach him a lessons he wouldnt forget, he'll respect Trans peopel one way or another by my hand!

You did good, it sint easy to go by the book but in the end it pays off, soo you did good and I'm sorry oyu ahd to go through that in the first palce

[Guest angie]

Well, Im not a girly girl, I paint my nails red so that the blood under the nails isnt noticeable >.>

While I am a girly girl and small,and not at all sure of how mean I could be anymore.

Was working as a courier driver last year,and this one warehouseman,a tatooed,muscle

bound redneck,made the comment one day as I was in to reload,"If I knew they hired freaks like you,I wouldn't have come to work here.",just glaring at me.I ignored him

completely as felt it was my best option since the place was/is testosterone driven,

I would have gotten no support.

I think/know you did the right thing Amanda.If he is fired,even if he isn't,I would

suggest you have a manager walk you to your car for a few days,or weeks,to be on the

safe side.I have found I am much more aware of men,especially threatening men,a whole

lot more than I ever was before.Then I knew I could handle them and myself.Now,UmMm.

Hugs Sweetheart,

Angelique

[Guest Chandra]

Hello Foxy,

Wow did that sound like a scary situation. You did the right thing and handled your self well. a non violent response is always the best way to go. Confrontation with this type of creep will almost always escalate, and these types of creeps are every ware, and are worse in a mob, where mob mentality takes over.

This really bothers me what happened to you. Do we not have the right to exist, do we have to live in constant fear because of a few closed mined creeps. Why do we always have to worry, just because we were born different. Even if we were born with three legs I bet we wouldn't get picked on as we do. What is with our gender issue that causes this type of response, perhaps it is there own insecurity's about them selves. I don't know I am no psychologist, but I do know it is reality.

Now that I said that let me say this. I am a very non violent person, I would rather run than enter into a fight. I

believe it takes a stronger person to back out of a fight than enter into one. I grew up in Detroit and was heavy into martial arts, and never had to ever use it on the streets. It's better to defuse the aggression if possible, run if all else fails.

Ok here it comes, we live in America and we do have the right to exist and defend ourselves. This is a possibility that would not be right for everyone, but it could add some piece of mind to some. I live in Michigan and have a concealed carry license. I would never, never ever pull it out, other than in the most extreme life and death situation. It's pretty easy to get, you need to be a non felon, take a one day safety course. Then passport quality

photo then fingerprints. Total cost about two hundred bucks.

I bet that creep that messed with you would think twice if he knew you had this. Just like we don't mess around with a bee because of it's sting. Once people know you have this you will be like the bee able to sting back, and some creeps won't be a jerk at all. And it will add a certain piece of mind, knowing at least you have a last ditch defense.

I want to reemphasize this is a huge response ability, and it should only be considered in the most extreme life and death situations. A taser pistol would also be a good non lethal choice, but they are still quite large and harder to conceal.

It's to bad we live in a world where this should even be considered, but I feel strongly that we have a right to live our lives as we choose, and should not be picked on just because were a little different. But unfortunately it is reality that we must deal with.

Take Care Love, Chandra

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

I think i'd go make a complaint with the police, even if they can't do anything right now, it'll put pressure on your work to make sure they deal with it properly, and it will make it easier for you to get a restraining order if the harassment continues.

Yes you did the right thing standing up for yourself, don't put yourself in unnecessary danger, but ignoring them just tells them that it's acceptable. And it's not, even if they have the right to their predjudice opinions, they don't have the right to abuse anyone verbally or physically. We don't deserve to be treated in such a manner.

[Guest Dana M]

If you're 21 I would recommend getting a permit to carry a concealed weapon. There are way too many lunatics like this guy out there.

[Guest Donna Jean]

At the very least ....get a pepper spray...

And keep it on your key chain with your car keys in your hand..

Or get one that has a case and clips on your belt...

I have a license to carry a concealed handgun..

But I took a course, live fired, and I'm ex military and ex cop...

If someone carries a handgun, you must be able to use it and not let it get taken away from you...

And think about filing a police report on this clown!

Be safe!

Donna Jean

[Guest foxy]

weapons are out of the question. since it is my work they do not allowed any weapons of any sort at work. as far as training goes... i have never had a physical fight in my life, i have always prided myself in using my reason and logic to resolve them before they escalated. i even try'd to help him understand why i am the way i am. i am sure you guys know how some men are... sometimes they just want to do the whole "hulk smash" thing... its like they think smashing something they don't understand is easier then trying to figure it out and understand.

my last ditch deference is kicking them between the legs and ruining as fast as i can to help or safety

now that i think of it, i am definitely much more uncomfortable around guys in general, though i think its mainly due to the fact they really do not understand us in any way and don't even try, and when faced with things they don't like or understand they turn big...green and ugly

[Guest doodle]

I think you did the right thing by going to management. get things documented so if he threatenings you again you can go to the police and you will be able to have some proof that you are being sexually harassed. Ad with other have said have some one walk you to your car. and be careful. Something like that happened to me like that at work and management shut it right down so well no one mentions anything to me. Sometimes I want to say something about myself but I'm afraid that it will all start again and they will tell me it is my fault.

Kelly