The Importance Of Coming Out

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest All,

One of the major steps that we all must take is coming out to those who we love and are important to us. Acknowledging, that one is transgendered is the very first and most important step. That is why we are all here in the first place. Coming out to allow others to acknowledge that you are transgendered is equally important.

Coming out is probably the single most important step in terms of affirmation. Ideally, those to whom you come out to are accepting, and are encouraging. Sadly, this is not always the case. Even under the best of circumstances, you will be asked many questions. If not right away (when you initially come out), but sometimes months later, after the initial shock has worn off. In any case, you must be prepared for the questions, and most importantly, those who challenge you and do not accept you.

Knowing who you are is the cornerstone of successfully coming out. To you young ones out there, this is more complex since your resolve and understanding of yourself is still forming. In spite of that, please be as well informed as you can be as to what being transgendered means. Additionally, be absolutely honest with yourself, and with those who you come out to.

Family dynamics vary from family to family so one must be sensitive to those dynamics and prepare accordingly to handle those dynamics.

Coming out is not trivial and should never be treated that way. Coming out has so many forms. You will come out by accident.. be prepared. You will come out by choice... be prepared. You will be outed by others... be prepared.

Before you come out know that the possibility of you then being outed is extremely high. Do your homework and have your facts in hand before you come out.

Coming out is a necessary step for all of us. If handled in the right way, in the right time, it will be successful.

When you overcome this hurdle, you are truely free

All my Love

Brenda

[Guest NatashaJade]

Brenda,

Thanks for this thoughtful post. This is very much a subject on my mind. There is so much anxiety hiding behind closed doors. You always have the feeling you are one misstep away from being exposed against your will or before you're ready. And then what? Then you have to deal with this issue, even if it is not something you are ready to discuss with everyone in your life.

I've rehearsed my speech a thousand times, but I'm just not ready to perform it yet.

luv

Gin

[Guest EveDaDingo]

You could rehearse that speech a million times and you'll never be ready to say it and it will never come out as you plan. All the people you think will be accepting, hope that they will be, but plan that they won't. With friends it's easy to come out. Most of them just roll with it. Weird, but whatever, you know. But family, or anyone that you want to be proud of you, it's a whole different ballpark. The words just sit there on your tongue, then you feel like throwing up afterwards. And all the questions and crying. It's hard to thing straight. But you just gotta push on. For better or for worse, just push on.

At least, that's how it was for me.