Patience

[JenniferB]

Every day I'm having to restrain myself and slow down the transitional phase of becoming a woman. And I'm concerned that it is going to out me at work before I'm ready.

Maybe part of my fear has to do with not shaving for two days because of my first electrolysis session this afternoon. It is difficult to hide this from co-workers. But also I am now using moisturizers on my face and skin that are scented. And using feminine deoderant. I can't really help it. I so much want the man part of me to fade into the inner recesses of the mind.

My gf is going to take me shopping and give me an entire makeover, including cross dressing to the point where I should be able to pass as a woman physically. I know I will want to where makeup at work, so will probably leave something on. I want my ears pierced so bad that I fight this on a daily basis. I plan to have them done the first day my hair covers my ears.

So I fight being patient every day, knowing that patience will pay off in the long run. Still my entire being is screaming for Jenny to appear.

I wonder if anyone else is having this same problem to the same degree I am or to some other degree.

Jenny

[Guest sarah f]

I try to fight it every day but it keeps on winning. Before long my wife will have to make a decision one way or another to support me or not. I am not stopping now and I am full steam ahead with the transition. I don't know if you have started voice training but if not you might want to start because it is very hard to get down without outing yourself.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Every day I'm having to restrain myself and slow down the transitional phase of becoming a woman. And I'm concerned that it is going to out me at work before I'm ready.

I totally know what you mean, Hon....Same for me..

I'm 16 months HRT and I work as male...not an easy task.

The people where I work percieve me as a gay married male (?) and I let that be for now...Being Gay is much more accepted than Trans, anyway!

Maybe part of my fear has to do with not shaving for two days because of my first electrolysis session this afternoon. It is difficult to hide this from co-workers. But also I am now using moisturizers on my face and skin that are scented. And using feminine deoderant. I can't really help it. I so much want the man part of me to fade into the inner recesses of the mind.

I know about that electrolysis thing...My appointments are Saturday morning and I can't shave from Thursday morning...I also use moisturizers...and scents..I do what I do to be comfortable...I walk past co-workers and I hear them say "Hey, I smell cookies!" because I'm using a vanilla scent!...lol

And dealing with it when asked? Heck, do what I do...lie through your teeth! It's no one's businees unless I care to tell them.

My gf is going to take me shopping and give me an entire makeover, including cross dressing to the point where I should be able to pass as a woman physically. I know I will want to where makeup at work, so will probably leave something on. I want my ears pierced so bad that I fight this on a daily basis. I plan to have them done the first day my hair covers my ears.

Remember, Honey....you're NOT cross dressing! You're dressing Gender Appropiately! You are a woman...that is how you dress...those are your clothes!

And makeup at work? Every day I wear mascara and a little face powder...Still presenting male for about a year and a half!

And, I hope that your hair grows fast so that you can get those ears pierced! You'll LOVE them!

So I fight being patient every day, knowing that patience will pay off in the long run. Still my entire being is screaming for Jenny to appear.

I think that we all fight that, Hon...we all just want to "be there"..but, that's what the word transition means...a gradual change...

I wonder if anyone else is having this same problem to the same degree I am or to some other degree.

You're feeling ther same as so many of us do...we want it and we want it NOW!

It's just the way it is, dear girl!

Jenny

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[JJ]

Jenny, it sounds like you are making rapid strides but I can understand your impatience. Since I don't plan to transition my feelings and issues are a little different.

But only you can know your work environment and how fast you can go there.

at least you have your days off. I hope then you can be your true self.

The makeover should be fun!!

Hugs

JJ

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Jenifer

That was me about 18 months ago and it got me in serious trouble! I came out at work (had to - wearing what I was wearing - they were commenting) and got fired for trumped up reasons. So I went to another job (4 months unemployed - not fun!) and tried the same thing - fired again! My therapist said STOP TRYING TO OUT AT WORK. I had to go underground again and at first it was a killer! But - I am male presenting at a new job (sorta - you have seen me - pretty feminized now). There are tricks.

(1) Live full time at home - get your HRT going - grow your hair out - get your ears pierced - all that - BUT don't display at work.

(2) In bigger cities you can go a motified full time - where people who are at work won't see you. But not flamboyant.

(3) Just know you don't have to dress to affirm who you are. The light bulb goes off on that eventually. Right now it is so overpowering to FINALLY express your true self. WOW - you want EVERYTHING.

(4) Become "partially" more female at work - it can be done.

HOW?

Well I am at work now - I have on my woman's jeans, no socks, a company logo shirt with my breasts partially constricted under by a small tank top that doesn't show. I have on my clogs - sometimes I wear my women's penny loafers. I of course tossed out my male underwear a years ago. I have on a woven cord bracelet and a necklace with a small gold cross. I am a slightly effininate appearing male. But people are accustomed to seeing me this way. My long hair is tied back in a beautiful ponytail, my high cheekbones,no Adam's apple? My Native American heritahge...

I do use a women's deodeorant but in a Vanilla sent - delightful! The moisurizers on my hands and face probably have a scent - I don't care - no one has noticed. Even my nails are manicured semi-short and have a gloss base coat strengthener polish - no one has ever said anything.

BUT certain no-noS - NO make-up - no purfume - don't even try it. NO earrings - that's what outed me before. And the lack of beard and the thin eyebrows? I say - runs in the family. (really does - all the women in my family are without a beard and have thin eyebrows). I am in electolysis - I am on HRT - it's 'don't ask- don't tell!

Being myself? Heck, I get in the car, let my hair down, put in my earrings and put on a bit of lip color? Stop somewhere on the way home... "Yes Ma'am"

You get there. Don't try to do it all at once. You need the salery to finance your transition.

So just put on your big girl panties and do it! DON"T PUSH! Baby steps Jenifer - baby steps.

My opinion

Lizzy