Coming Out In The Twitter Age

[Carolyn Marie]

As many of you know, I have a teenage son who I am not out to yet. In discussing the "how best to" approach with my G.T., I realized something I hadn't fully thought through, and I need some guidance with anyone who has gone through this.

I am not planning to come out to the world for anywhere from 6 to 9 months from now. But I was planning to tell my son early this summer, for a variety of reasons. What I just realized is that, in this age of Twitter and Facebook, whatever I tell my son is likely to be spread among his friends, and to their parents, within hours or days. It won't be long before I'm the talk of my town. Frankly, I'm not ready for that.

I can ask or demand that he not tell anyone, but how realistic is that?

So, has anyone gone through that with a teenager, and how did it work out? How bad is the Twitter landscape?

Thanks for your thoughts.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Explain to him the danger of saying anything to anyone. It WILL directly affect him if you loose your position and salery. I think he is old enough to understand that. a 14 year old? No - that teen wouldn't.

Hope this helps

Lizzy

[Sally]

Dear Carolyn,

You can ASK him not to tell anyone because of the dangers and possibility of losing your job if the timing is wrong.

He wants to go to college so you need the job.

The only worry would be if he was to be angry with you for this - then logic plays no part but having your lovely wife's support should help there also.

I think that you should be able to come out to him without any trouble as you seem to have a fairly healthy relationship.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Steven22]

Not that I have kids, but I can tell you its probably solely dependent on your son. For instance my brother and his wife got divorced and none of it ended up on facebook or twitter, subsequently hardly anyone knew. In my case none of it has hit facebook or twitter, I am 23 I have friends as young and 19 and as old as 60 that know I am trans and almost all of them have FB/Twitter. But that's just my experience with coming out and being in the twitter age. I am unsure as to why, I hadn't ever thought it would be a problem though in retrospect it seems very likely, out of some inadequately explored reason it never made it to a fb status or twitter update that I know of. Good luck.

[Guest AlexandraHarper]

Dear Carolyn,

I agree with everyone else, that when you tell your son, that you explain what would happen if he tells gets out you might lose your job, and possibly have problems in your community in general. Which would then affect him as well. By inferring what the might happen it if gets out probably is the best strategy in my opinion. Also am I the only who doesn't get the point of twitter, just wondering.

Hoping it turns out well for you!

Alexandra Harper

[Carolyn Marie]

Thanks for your replies, everyone. I found them very, very reassuring, and it really helped.

Carolyn Marie