Passin Advise?

[Guest barton]

So far I haven't had much luck when it comes to passing. Even when trying my hardest, I still get ma'am-ed and miss-ed. I've been trying to work on my attitude and lifting weights to get some muscle development. But I think one of my main problems is my body. I'm barely 5'2" with shoes, have a large chest (and binding only does so much), and have hips wide enough to pass a kid sideways.

No matter how well I may pass from shoulders up, it's a completely different story from the shoulders down. Anyone have any advise on how to hide the unwanted curves?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

This from a MTF - so I don't know if it helps. Sorry to be blunt, but you did not say how much you weigh. I weigh a lot and am having to lose a lot because thin people pass better - both MTF and FTM. Don't go anorexic or anything but research the weight / height ratio for your age. Then bulk up. You curves? TRADE YA! If only, right? That is something you will have to work on with other FTMs - I just know binding is kinda dangerous if taken too far for too long.

Wish you the best on this.

Lizzette

[Guest Jese]

Don't know so much about the top half, but one of those slimming undergarments might help with the hips. The kind they sell for women who want their rears minimized.

[JJ]

Here I am weighing in on passing when i don't try but I do live in an anti-LGBT area where nevertheless no one says "mam" or "sir" because so often you can't be sure here.

Both women and men wear loose fitting fairly plain clothes-like black t-shirt and black baggy jeans is dressed up because they match! In winter it's plaid shirts-they break up lines in your body and you can't tell if someone has curves or a chest. I know from experience. I've seen some people around for 5 years and still don't know their gender.When you're wearing clothes that don't catch the eye then people won't even look. They'll focus in the head where you can be all male. As I have been learning when you let the male inside free and react from that you will BE male not passing as male and get more of the responses you want.

But thhere is another factor with being such a short man. "Little man syndrome". A very real phenomena. With very,very few exceptions the cisgendered men Ihave seen and known who are short are more up on their toes, more shoulders squared and more chin out than their taller counterparts. Your body language may be at odds with your height. I'm not saying to push it like some smaller men seem to feel compelled to do-just observe how smaller men carry themselves and work at that.

Hugs

JJ

[Guest barton]

Sorry to be blunt, but you did not say how much you weigh.

I am a bit over weight, so there is that to consider I know. But just about all the girls in my family have these traits. Losing weight will help some, but not completely. And I'm smart enough to know how dangerous it would be to try to get to an insanely low weight to get rid of them that way. Ick.

Your body language may be at odds with your height. I'm not saying to push it like some smaller men seem to feel compelled to do-just observe how smaller men carry themselves and work at that.

I'll try that. My friend's boyfriend is kind of short for a guy, so I can look to him for some tips I suppose. Though I'm not sure how well I can mimic him. He works at a plant were they make stuff from concrete, so he's like this tiny hunk of muscle.

[Guest Evan_J]

It sucks donkey butt but Liz is right, (he says knowing his love of snacks that are sweet and chips....) weight is definately a part of it and less weight will pass you better. I dunno how old you are or what your T plans are either, but getting whats left "shifted around" is also going to help. THE number one most "hurtful" thing my grandmother said as I started transitioning was "yeah, but what are you going to do (I'll feel free to change her words...)with the bottom half". Thinner, plus the "flattening" (cuz ther is some from the T ) PAIRED with making the top bulkier "evens" it out. You'll look kinda like that cement guy you were talking about . Like a tank.

Speaking of which, JJ had some awesome advice that I didn't even think of, watch that guy and see how he carries himself.

[Guest Donna Jean]

And don't discount mannerisms ....

Don't sit with your legs crossed like I do (like a girl...)

Don't stand and hugg yourself...

Use open and confident stances..

Guys "protect their areas...whether it's their car or just their "breathing" space..

Guys don't lean in close to talk to someone else..that's a female trait...

Clean your ears with a key...

Standing talking to someone or waiting for something, hook your thumbs in your jeans pockets..

Don't hold your drink (coffee) cup in both hands..

Don't point at something palm up....

Don't look at your nails with your arm out and palm away from you...

DO look at your nails with a fist close to you and palm to your face..

Don't look in every mirror or reflective surface like I do...

Remember...in passing, attitude is 50%!

Donna Jean

[Guest barton]

And don't discount mannerisms ....

Remember...in passing, attitude is 50%!

Don't sit with your legs crossed like I do (like a girl...)

I've never sat like that.

Don't stand and hugg yourself...

Didn't do that either.

Use open and confident stances..

Could work on this a bit, I suppose.

Guys "protect their areas...whether it's their car or just their "breathing" space..

I do tend to sprawl...

Guys don't lean in close to talk to someone else..that's a female trait...

No leaning for me (i actually think this is kind of rude)

Clean your ears with a key...

Does a pencil count? lol

Standing talking to someone or waiting for something, hook your thumbs in your jeans pockets..

Usually just stick my hands in my pockets.

Don't hold your drink (coffee) cup in both hands..

Only if its cold

Don't point at something palm up....

...People do that?

[Guest AshleyRF]

This from a MTF - so I don't know if it helps. Sorry to be blunt, but you did not say how much you weigh. I weigh a lot and am having to lose a lot because thin people pass better - both MTF and FTM. Don't go anorexic or anything but research the weight / height ratio for your age. Then bulk up. You curves? TRADE YA! If only, right? That is something you will have to work on with other FTMs - I just know binding is kinda dangerous if taken too far for too long.

Wish you the best on this.

Lizzette

I have to disagree with you on this one. MtFs tend to pass better when they have some extra weight on them. Granted having to much is not a good thing but in being to thin you face the problem of showing your underlying masculine bone structure. Having an extra 10 to 20 lbs of weight on you is very helpful, especially if that weight was put on after HRT.

[Guest Evan_J]

I have to disagree with you on this one. MtFs tend to pass better when they have some extra weight on them. Granted having to much is not a good thing but in being to thin you face the problem of showing your underlying masculine bone structure. Having an extra 10 to 20 lbs of weight on you is very helpful, especially if that weight was put on after HRT.

I agree with you because of that whole "after HRT" thing.

It's not my fault. Sally knows I have booty issues lol. But yeah, rounder or just plain round butt equals girl for some peeps. Could be the difference is found in "weight" vs. curves