Work Place Discrimination And Violence

[Guest foxy]

my recent dealings with both discrimination and violence has compelled me to make a topic to help others.

well as most you know i have been dealing with these problems a work. here is a short summery to help everyone who has not seen my previous topic.

it all started with small mean spirited comments about my transition, then over a month turned into more and more, then others i worked with started getting influenced by this person, and started saying things thinking it was ok, finally came the threats and complete lose of being safe at work. i went to management, told them, they pulled him in, yelled at him i am guessing, situation then turned from comments to violence and complete obsession with causing me trouble. went to management again, and they pulled him in again, nothing changed it got much worse. i now have no peace of mind at work wondering when they will act against me. my car recently came out of the shop due to what looked like tired that had been sliced. the comments continued and turned into mentioning of him stocking me when i go out to my car and him knowing what car i drive and were i park. i pushes management to stop it at any cost, and they now are doing a full blown investigation, which will result in all people i work with being pulled in and questioned. and the creep who is going out of his way to hurt me, will end up being fired if found at fault. my management team may not do this seeing as how they are quite forgetful, which means my next coarse of action is with human resources and even lawsuit

discrimination and people just talking/having a bad day can be hard to differentiate between. keeping a dairy of what happened, and who said what is essential to your protection.

if your dealing with comments at work, the first indications are ones about transition or directed at you in a way to cause hurt feelings, sometimes how ever people do have bad days, this is why its best to wait a few days to a couple of weeks to see if they continue. or you could ask them not to say such things as you do not like what is being said.

after a few days to a few weeks we generally know if they have problems with our transition or not. if they do you are faced with 2 options.

1) if asking them to stop did not work, get a supervisor or member of management involved or

2) try to ignore the comments, this how ever is is letting the problem persist and if the person is truly trying to cause you harm, the situation will get worse.

if you got management or a supervisor involved they normally will ask the person to stop(a verbal warning) and then we just wait to see if it stops or continues. if it continues it gets much trickery,this is were the diary comes in handy. also due to the person having shown you they care not for the consequences that will result for them not having stopped.

generally this turns into a entire new ballgame. we are now dealing with a individual who is set on causing you trouble and depending on how far they will go could lead to violence toward you. depending on the person they could try to do a great deal of things, even manipulating others to act out on you. never ignore threats they are vary serious and ignoring them may cause the person to act on them to get the reaction out of you they want. they may also try to cause harm to out property since if they took action directly at us it would result in jail.

if they do do something to something you own, most the time our cars, always check you vehicle before getting in, its just a good idea in general even when not dealing with discrimination / violence.

the key here is to keep your diary of everything that is said and done with names,times, and dates.

we then give our documentation to our supervisor or management and they take appropriate action, depending on your supervisor or management it could result in coachings more warnings or termination.

if the individual is fired things may stop or the individual may come after you even more now, this is also were keeping a diary is vary helpful, we can now give it to the police and let them take their action.

generally once police get involved it is out of your hands and we get stuck with just keeping our diary on what is being done when, any property damage and violence toward you. if its property damage, we then wind up suing them for repairs, if its violence, well... that person is going to jail and the nightmare is over for good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

if you management is like mine, things get pushed around. management generally dose not want to have to deal with discrimination issues and will try to avoid having to hoping they go away on there own.

if your management is like mine, it will take a lot just to get to the action point. while dealing with management who is like this, polite and persistent is key. also when keeping notes do not mention what the managers are not doing or they may view you as the problem and just terminate you instead. all the while management is trying to avoid having to deal with it the situation is most likely getting worse. just keep writing everything in the diary. if management dose not do anything, you are forced to go above them, most the time it is the next level of management, sometimes how ever it is dealing directly with the HR department.

when having to scale the chain of management to get action taken and the problem to stop be vary careful. since we are not having to go over our bosses heads to get the problem to stop we will not be directly affecting there job and may even start having action and problems from our bosses, having out diary is our only protection at this point.

3 most in-portent things to have when dealing with this type of problem are:

1) you diary, dates, what was said and names, with your signature on each entry

2) information of company policies and state laws

3) list of names and phone numbers of each step up the chain.

the information you will need because most the time if a manager has an issue with you or are now threaten since you went over there head to solve the problem, they will end up manipulating policies and laws to try to stop you. if we know what the real policies and laws in our state/place of residence is, then those lies just become more information to use against our aggressors.

the list of names and phone numbers is vary in portent because if each step in the chain dose not solve the problem, we have to go higher until it dose stop. which vary well wind up having a lawsuit. which regardless of were you live or work, almost all the time any form of discrimination in any place is not tolerated.

if you do wind up having ti sue to stop it, which is vary rare, most always it never gets to this. that diary, and having been polite and exhausting all recorcess is our only tool in arsenal.

remember always keep a diary, be as truthful as possible, and always be polite, and watch what you say and the discrimination / violence will stop.

you should never have to deal with peoples mistreatment's at work or in general, i hope this helps others help themselves if they are dealing with these issues.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

as with gay rights, they were not gained over night, so too will our rights be gained threw showing people treating us poorly and thinking they can get away with it will not happen, over time after people realize that they can not do what they are doing, it will stop and we will start gaining more and more respect and positive viewing in our society. eventually the lgbt communities as a whole will no longer have to deal with discrimination, and showing people we can not be treated the way we get treated is our only way to stop it.

i look forward to when saying "i'm trans" is no longer such a issue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Amanda

[Carolyn Marie]

Amanda, I'm so sorry that things have turned so ugly for you at work. A supportive and proactive management team could have nipped this in the bud, but they let it get out of control, and you are faced with the consequences. It should not have been this way.

It sounds like you are doing all you can, and working within the system. In addition to all of that, you may want to consider a restraining order. In many states they are very easy to get, and all you have to do is make a statement to the court that you are reasonably in fear of your safety and welfare.

I'm not sure what state you're in, but in California and some other states, if the person menacing you verbally threatens you with harm, or leaves a message with such a threat on your voicemail, or via e-mail, they can be charged with making "terrorist" threats." That's not the kind of terrorism people usually think of, but the personal kind. In California, it can be either a felony or a misdemeanor. Here is a link to more information:

http://www.criminalattorney.com/news/terrorist-threats/

Please do whatever it takes to protect yourself, and thank you for posting this topic.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Amanda - I knew there were problems, but this situation of yours is very serious! Be careful not to be a statistic! PLEASE be careful.

The suggestions you gave are very helpful. I am just saddened they had to come from experience!

People who hate are living such diminished lives!

Lizzy

[Guest amyj]

I've been thinking heavily about this myself. Considering that state law allows me to informally go by a different name, as long as I go by it exclusively, I should be able to change my name tag to represent my name of choice. (I have one coworker that wears a name tag reading 'BJ' and another that wears 'Junior.') I intend to fight my way through this name tag change, but not because I really care about the name tag. It's for the future generations that will have to go through this. If I start one small change now, then we are one step closer to reaching a day when we can say, "I'm trans" and not have it be an issue.

Just one skirmish at a time.

[Guest foxy]

i honestly do not think a restraining order would help, after what hes said and has done i dont think he cares for consequences.

i am definitely being as safe as i can... being escorted to my car, parking under the lights, and right in front of the cameras view.... if he attacks me just figure i would run away, if he uses a gun...well i am going to pray he is a bad aim lol.... dont know much about x military people... they dont know how to make car bombs do they?... i sure hope not lol