Hello

[Guest mum of josh]

Hello my name is Angela and I am a mum to a nearly 5 year old little boy Josh. I have come here looking for some advice / words of wisdom in regards to my son, although being new to forums I am not to sure if I put my "story" in here or somewhere else? Maybe someone could let me know??

Thank you very much

Angela

[MaryEllen]

Hi Angela,

Welcome to Laura's Playground forums Thank you for sharing with us about your son, Josh. I'm assuming that your son is telling you that he is a girl or is showing feminine traits. If such is the case, perhaps this link can give you some insight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Utpam0IGYac

MaryEllen

[Guest mum of josh]

Hello MaryEllen and thank you for your welcome. I have actually seen the 20/20 interview and am wondering what is the best way help my son? The statistics for suicide and hurting themselves for these children just terrifies me. I would like some advice on the best way to help my little guy. I want him to grow up with loads of self esteem and love for who he is but on the other hand I am scared that maybe this is just a phase he is going through and that by encouraging this it might also be the wrong thing to do. Although a phase is called a phase because it comes to a end but Josh has been dressing in his sister clothes for nearly 2 years now. He always identifies with the female in a story or tv program, (always the princess never the prince). Although if we say about him having a penis and if he was a girl he wouldnt have a penis he gets upset with that thought as well.

This is not something I feel comfortable talking about in mothers group so thought maybe someone here could give us a heads up. My father is a gay man, although he isnt much help at all with advice for Josh. When I try to discuss it with him all I get is lots of umm's .

Sorry for rambling on, my husband and I just want to do what is right for Josh. We dont care what he is in this life as long as he is a good person who lives life to his full potential and weather that is straight, gay, transexual or whatever we love him so much and want to make this journey easier for him, whatever he decides and I was hoping that people who have gone through this might be able to help us.

Thank you so much,

Angela

[MaryEllen]

Hi Angela,

Your story is very similar to that of another concerned mother that was here a week or two ago. I think you'll get a lot of information from the dialog we had with her.

MaryEllen

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...?showtopic=2001

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Angela,

Don’t worry yourself to much-just go with the flow ,sooner or later Josh will let you know which direction he/she is going…In the meantime just continue being you ie, the kind loving and supportive parent that Josh knows and loves…To buy him/her the pretty dress that he/she likes is not encouraging ‘unnatural’ behaviour, it’s just letting him/her know that no matter what, you’re there for him/her…

You might like to check out Tracie Okeefe she’s a psychotherapist who helps trans-people I’m not sure if she deals with trans-children but if she can’t help I’m sure she will know of somebody who can… …Here’s her website and email address…

[email protected] …www.tracieokeefe.com

Just go with Josh’s flow….easier said than done I know…but not impossible to do! And in the long run you will have a well balanced, well adapted, young teenager who is happy with who they are because his/her parents love and support them no matter what…

Metta Jendar

Ps I would say ‘good luck’ but Josh is already lucky to have the ‘unconditional’ love from the people whom he/she relies upon the most for guidance…

[Guest o0tg0o]

yeah...and if anything, there's some time before puberty kicks in....

[Guest mum of josh]

Thank you so much for your reply Jendar, you have no idea how much your reading your words have made me feel. All we want in life for both our children is to be happy, healthy and true to themselves. In this world today that is so hard without the issues of gender thrown into the mix. It makes me so sad to see what people go through in regards to their gender and the way society treats them. Having a gay dad I have always been of the opinion of what gives people the right to dictates how someone else is choosing to live their life. I have seen how dad has been treated by some members of society and to think that my darling son might one day have to face that just fill my heart with so much sadness. Coming here and reading through the forums have really opened my eyes and I am so sorry for the way some of you have been treated. Hopefully one day in the near future everyone will be accepted for who they are.

Anyway rambling on again, it is just so good to be able to "talk" about these things without being judged for it is such a relief. Funny how everybody has an opinion on what we should do for Josh without ever being in this situation themselves. Put away the dresses and tell him he is a boy is the big one, which I have done but to see his face when I do that is like I am punishing him and he dosnt know what for.

Thank you again I will look up Tracie O'Keefe's website tomorrow to see what I can find out, I had no idea where to even start. We live in a small mining town in Australia so I wouldn't feel comfortable with seeing a pediatrician/doctor here.

o0tg0o that is a whole new worry, all the hormones raging through kids body when they hit puberty without having to deal with gender issues as well is already enormous. Our goal is that if Josh is transgender we will be able to get him the support he will need before entering puberty.

Thank you both again.

Angela

[Guest Katie-Louise]

Hi Angela and welcome to the playground I think Josh has a lovely supporting, caring and loving mother who is concerned about the happiness and well being of him If only more parents were like that mine couldn't care less to be honest. Seeing a gender therapist may be useful for both josh and both you and your husband although he is very young and he should not be put under any pressure. I am only a 17 year old teenage girl(M2F Transsexual) and any advice I could give to help you is limited.

Wishing you all the best

Emily

xxxx

[Guest Zenda]

Thank you so much for your reply Jendar, you have no idea how much your reading your words have made me feel. All we want in life for both our children is to be happy, healthy and true to themselves. In this world today that is so hard without the issues of gender thrown into the mix. It makes me so sad to see what people go through in regards to their gender and the way society treats them. Having a gay dad I have always been of the opinion of what gives people the right to dictates how someone else is choosing to live their life. I have seen how dad has been treated by some members of society and to think that my darling son might one day have to face that just fill my heart with so much sadness. Coming here and reading through the forums have really opened my eyes and I am so sorry for the way some of you have been treated. Hopefully one day in the near future everyone will be accepted for who they are.

Anyway rambling on again, it is just so good to be able to "talk" about these things without being judged for it is such a relief. Funny how everybody has an opinion on what we should do for Josh without ever being in this situation themselves. Put away the dresses and tell him he is a boy is the big one, which I have done but to see his face when I do that is like I am punishing him and he dosnt know what for.

Thank you again I will look up Tracie O'Keefe's website tomorrow to see what I can find out, I had no idea where to even start. We live in a small mining town in Australia so I wouldn't feel comfortable with seeing a pediatrician/doctor here.

o0tg0o that is a whole new worry, all the hormones raging through kids body when they hit puberty without having to deal with gender issues as well is already enormous. Our goal is that if Josh is transgender we will be able to get him the support he will need before entering puberty.

Thank you both again.

Angela

Kia Ora Angela,

You might also find this site of some help it's specifically for parents of trans-children...It's got lots of information...

http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.org/link...m...There's a booklet by one of the mother's called "The agony of nurturing the spirit" Which no doubt will help you come to terms with what's happening with your child 'Josh'...

If you feel the need of an outlet - a need to express how you are feeling-what you're going through, you can PM me...It's always better 'out' than in...

Take care

Metta Jendar...

[Guest mum of josh]

Hi Katie- Louise, thank you for you advise. I'm just looking for information at the moment in case there does come a time that we need this information for Josh. The thought of self harm really terrifies me so I guess to have information right from the start if that is the case, in my eyes would be better than putting our heads in the sand and hoping it all goes away and if it turns out this is just a stage Josh is going through we will have lots of embarrasing photos for his 21st .

Katie-Louise, I sincerely hope your journey is full of supportive people who help make this transition for you as easy as possible and I wish you all the very best life has to offer.

Again Jendar, thank you very very much. When Josh is in his girl persona he calls himself Joshina but as soon as he puts his boys clothes back on he resumes Josh again. The transformation is really quite amazing, as Joshina he is feminine with very feminine traits but as Josh he is your typical rowdy out of control 4 and 3/4 year old.

Hope you have a wonderful day

Angela