Did Not Work For Me

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

Jeez, ugh...

Im transgender I figured I would just naturally wear my night-Gown to bed and go to sleep.

I figured she would see me, I would be asleep, and she would have the rest of the night and morning to cool off so I can reveal to her that I am transgender without to much yelling. Sadly it back fired I ended up wakeing up like seconds before she walked in. That was about a month ago! (no physical abuse but she really hurt me emotionaly)

In short things went over really bad! after she saw me.

so anyone else wanna share a backfire story?

maybe someone will learn from our mistakes and will be able to formulate a better method for themselves for telling there mom and dad they are transgender or cd, or whatever they are.

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

That really sucks! I'm sorry it went that way for you. *hugs*

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi hon

The cornerstone of coming out successfully is to be sure of who you are. There really cannot be any equivocation.

You are not doing a bad thing and there is nothing wrong with you sweetheart Being transgendered is no one's fault, it is a reality of life and the human condition. Being young as you are, I would suggest that you tell/plead with your parents that you need to see a therapist (a gender therapist preferably). For you young ones, coming out with the request of seeing someone professionally will probably work the best for you.

For me, being much older, I have the luxury of being able to tell my family members who I am without "getting in trouble". They have one simple choice... accept me or not. I am who I am and if they have an issue with me... well that's their problem, not mine.

For you hon, I know things are bit more complicated because you are still a dependant. In your case, if your parents are not understanding, then ask them to get you the help you need. Hopefully, they will get you that help. Hopefully, they will learn. Hopefully, you and your parents will get to know the real you

Love and HUGS

Brenda

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

Hi hon

The cornerstone of coming out successfully is to be sure of who you are. There really cannot be any equivocation.

You are not doing a bad thing and there is nothing wrong with you sweetheart Being transgendered is no one's fault, it is a reality of life and the human condition. Being young as you are, I would suggest that you tell/plead with your parents that you need to see a therapist (a gender therapist preferably). For you young ones, coming out with the request of seeing someone professionally will probably work the best for you.

For me, being much older, I have the luxury of being able to tell my family members who I am without "getting in trouble". They have one simple choice... accept me or not. I am who I am and if they have an issue with me... well that's their problem, not mine.

For you hon, I know things are bit more complicated because you are still a dependant. In your case, if your parents are not understanding, then ask them to get you the help you need. Hopefully, they will get you that help. Hopefully, they will learn. Hopefully, you and your parents will get to know the real you

Love and HUGS

Brenda

Still Trying to Fine one, Last one I went to didnt really wanna get involved with my parents so It was like your completely normal, so long as I dont need to talk to your parents. So I stoped going. Than instead of trying to help he waisted my time on my fear of flying. Which by the way I am terrified of flying But still fly anyway.

I live in Florida Indian River County so if you know any good ones please let me know, The best and closest I found is in Sarasota Across florida from me.

Thanks

Love and Hugs

[Guest sarah f]

Cynthia I am sorry it back fired but at least you tried. As far as another therapist, I would google search gender therapist in you area. You may have to go a little out of your area to find one but it would be the most important thing you can do to get your parents to understand what you are going through. Don't give up trying as that is why most of us are older before we come out.

Now back to your request of how we may have failed when coming out. When I finally came out to my wife, I was supposed to go to lunch with Sally but that Ll changed when I said I was going to lunch with someone she did not know. I used her male name so that she wouldn't think i was seeing another girl. She questioned me who (he) was and I was stuck in trying to lie. I could not lie to her anymore so I told her we would talk about it when I got home. Well in the mean time she thought the worst and was thinking I was cheating with another man. I showed her Laura's and some of my posts and tried my best to explain what was going on. I let her know about Sally and how much she has been helping me. All she could do is cry and say why would you do this to me and the kids. That was probably the hardest and most emotional thing I have ever done. I say to anyone out there that are hiding what they are to parents or significant others that you need to be really careful on what you say unless you are ready to come out. I wanted to wait a little longer and all I had to do was say I would pick up one of my kids and have to cancel lunch with Sally but I told her that I was going to eat and couldn't pick my daughter up. My mistake but hopefull will help someone else.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Well

My worst backfire moment was really an event. I was naive. I had been on HRT a while, in therapy and living full time at home - but not at work. I went to the HR department - explained I was in transition (I had been caught three times with my earrings in - forgot to take them out - plus I was pushing the dege with women's loafers and such - nothing flamboyant). The HR director was the owner's wife as it was a small company. She was very empathetic and very supportive. She said one of her husband's best friends was a gay male and he was fine with that (alarm bells shoulda gone off). Things were okay for about two weeks. Then they manufactured an excuse and fired me.

THAT backfired!

So I learned - do ask, don't tell.

I am sorry you had such a negative effect with outing a bit to your wife. It seems that moment almost ALWAYS backfires. My wife was curious, then suspicious, them grudgingly supportive, then angry, then abusive, then down-right horrible to me. It took a year and a half - but loving her to the point of thinking she loved me for me, not my body? That backfired.

I know it seems dark, this reply. I suffered a bit. But now I am set free. I hate to be pragmatic, but the bottom line? IT WAS WORTH IT!

I now am who I am and I live that life. Stress is gone, self image is high, bank account is low... grin... read my signature - which says it all.

Lizzy