Will I Ever Pass?

[Milly]

So yeah, will I ever pass do you think? My pic is in my gallery. I know I'm fat and fugly, I'm still working on that, been on a diet for a while, I stopped smoking pot. I guess I don't need it anymore. Jessie05 put me in the best mood I've been in for some time. She told me I just need to move on past my dad's death, which today is his birthday. He's in a better place and not suffering from RSD anymore. It's still sad but I can't let his passing memories drag me down into misery anymore. I loved him so much. I don't think he would want me to wallow. That said, jessie also told me to go pick a flower today, at first I thought it was odd but it made me think... This is a chance to live anew, the flower could be the symbol of me moving on.

I may feel despair but I know that it will get better. I will find a job, I will get onto HRT I will be the woman I am inside. All that said, is I too ugly to ever pass? >.> This pic is like pre everything, hell I don't even know how to pluck my brows but that will have to wait til I get a job and establish a strong friend network. I don't want to lose a potential job because I look well girly lol.

So yeah. Pic and me feeling good, love and peace!

[Milly]

Oh well it might have helped if it was set to public lol. Ok now you should be able to see it.

[Guest KimberlyF]

OMG, I think you're worrying too much. I was expecting a train wreck. I wish I looked like that! Well if we're wishing, I wish I looked like Ssrah Michelle Gellar, but you'd be a huge step in the right direction for me.

[Milly]

Thanks

[JJ]

Good Grief Ashley. I go in to your gallery pic expecting to see someone who's gonna have a struggle with passing and I find some one who is beautiful.

You have a beautiful mouth and eyes! And a very good face. And that's in guy mode!

Must be the dysphoria that makes you say you're ugly because what I see is a beautiful girl in your face. You're gonna have so much fun learing to make up that face.

It's good to hear you sounding in a better place today.

Isn't it odd how it feels like we are betraying those we love by doing what they would want for us and moving on? Both of my parents are gone and I still feel every birthday or anniversary. You're just doing what you need and they would want for you to heal from the loss.

I can't wait to hear your post soon that you have a job and are on your way! Till then you can be honing those makeup skills at home. Find the shades that suit you best and become an expert at making up those beautiful eyes so that when you are ready and able to pluck and all that more permanent stuff you won't need to also take time on makeup. It takes lots of practice. Frankly I always hated the process but I imagine you'll enjoy it -different ends of the spectrum:)

Huggs

JJ

[Guest 91curiouskitten]

Argh I wish I found you while I was in keller with my Gma we coulda hung out ^^ Anyways, first things first, Youth First Texas, check it out I did in ym shrot stay they are awesome, other then that, not nearly as abd as you think you are, but I think thats for everyone, nobodies ever as bad as they think they are XD I know I'm horrible but aot say Im not, so its a self image thing, we see ourselves every single day and so we see every single possible flaw or even things that arent there, so relax! -huggles-

[Guest Ashley C.]

Hey Ashley, your facial features and structure actually remind me a lot of my own (and we even share the same name, lol). I went out a couple of days ago and passed no problem--so if I can do it, I know you can haha . I don't think you'll have anything to worry about once you start hair removal and the hormones start kicking in.

Love,

Ash

[Milly]

Thanks much for the much needed selfesteem boost. Also I will try to find some makeup that works for me, luckily my mom is being even more supportive lately so I'm sure I can get her to show me what needs to be done color wise.

Also I will look into the youth first texas.

[Guest Otto]

For being pre-everything you're good looking!

but there's lots of little things that can make you look much more femenine!

You should go ask some tipps to the girls

Don't worry !!,

Alex.

[Guest Opal]

I can't think of anything to add that hasn't already been said. Your looks are working for you!

Hugs,

Opal

[Milly]

Gah making me blush, thanks for the wonderful comments. You all have no idea how much that boosted my esteem So gonna work on makeup. Just need to find the right color for my skin. Gawd today has been such a good day. Still couldn't find a flower tho >.< Everything around here is like super dry, texas heat gah! And the few places I do know that have flowers, I don't think they would take too kindly to me just picking their hardwork!

Sorry jessie I tried! Oh well I will try again in the fall or when it gets cooler and things start to sprout again.

[Guest SaraNetherlands]

I think you will pass quite fine. Your face is quite feminine. Remember there are several ways to pass even better.

* Makeup: Can really add some femininity to you, even if it is a stereotype. Not too much, not too little. While many say EXPERIMENT!, my advice is to ask help from an expert or someone who has good knowledge on what makeup works for you. Why experiment and worry about doing it wrong, when someone can help doing it right in the first or second go.

* Glasses: Even if you don't need them, there are 0 strenght glasses which are purely for fashion. In Europe glasses are becoming hugely popular to help accent certain facial features. Depending on the shape of your face, the right size and type of glasses can almost magically hide masculine features because the frame of the glasses interrupts or follows certain shapes in the face. Assistants in a proper frame and glasses shop can tell you what works for you. BE SURE to tell them you wish to appear feminine, not masculine, however.

* Clothes: The right clothes make the woman. Again, ask for some advice when picking clothes and don't blindy trust on friends unless they have good knowledge of what works and what does not. It can be fun to shop together, but ending up dressed as a goth or a princess (random examples!) won't help with passing. Many shop assistants can help picking the clothes which fit with you. When in doubt, try unisex (clothes fashionable for both genders) first.

In the long run, HRT will help you loads also ofcourse.

[Milly]

Oh I definitely need glasses lol. Another reason why I'm unable to drive. I should try anyway it's just hard for me to read signs from further than 40 feet. Even food menus and stuff I can't read, it's too blurry. I saw some cute ones at walmart that I may end up getting!

Clothes wise yeah I just wanna get some nice shirts etc. Nothing too crazy like a goth princess lol. Maybe just some nice summer shirts or something.

I talked to my mom about helping me with makeup and she said she would think about helping me, this was after I left to the store, I brought it up and she said it's something she will just have ponder for a while. Which is fine because that usually means yes, so that means I will find my colors for makeup! yay!

[Guest sarah f]

I think you will do just fine with a little makeup and some hormones.

[Paula ult]

Ashley hon,

I too did not know what to expect when i went to your gallery, you will do just fine, keep growing your hair, shape those brows a bit, hrt will help lots, how about a smile in the next pic. Have a look at my gallery of before and after pics if you want to see a fugly before pic.

Paula

[Guest Donna Jean]

Ashley.......

Gallery........Pic.........Nice!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest Tess]

You look great!