Being Trans Is A Real Gift

[Guest Tess]

Beccy,

I really enjoyed your post and find it quite inspirational. While I have been unhappy for much of my life largely because of gender dysphoria, it is a major part of who I am and I would be a completely different person without it. While I don't see this as a blessing at present, I am happier since I accepted my condition, and feel less happy when I am questioning it. I am more relaxed, get on better with people, feel the people who I have told care about the real me instead of feeling isolated because no-one knew about the real me. My relationship with my partner is under a fair bit of strain at times, but has also become better much of the time. So far I would say that accepting my nature is a blessing, however difficult the results may turn out to be. But time will tell. I am glad you are so happy, and everything is working out for you so well. And I look forward to a time when I may feel the same way.

Love Tess.

[Guest Jul]

Becky,

I agree with you completely.

Despite the pain, despite the depression, and despite the longing I have to transition, I also view being Trans as a gift. If I had a choice, I wouldn't change my past for anything. I do wish everything the future holds (transition, living as my true self) was here already, but nonetheless, I've always followed a philosophy of living life with no regrets. The collective experience of everything I've been through has made me who I am now. I'm happy with who I am, and I am proud of who I am. I have no desire to change that part of myself.

Many have posted here expressing a stark contrast to your feelings about being trans. I can't blame them at all. It can be sheer hell at times. But a Native friend of mine said to me a long time ago something that has always stuck, "When Spirit gives you hardship, he also gives you great medicine (power/strength)". Time after time, as each of life's challenges presents itself, somehow I have found the strength to pull through. I'm amazed to still be here. After everything I have been through, I should have given up a long time ago, and though I have come close so many times now, somehow I'm alive.

One could never know what light is if they didn't know the dark. I am grateful for the unique perspective being trans has given me, as well as the inner strength it has instilled within me, and the chance to know myself better than some people ever will.

Thanks for posting this topic.

-Jul

[Guest viv]

Cant leave this thread alone BECKY . I said in another post what I love

the most in my life hurts the most ,,always has . You say a gift Becky and

I agree -the gift of being emotionally female. Feminine traits are all a

gift . Unfortunately the wrong body hurts but there have been countless

Trans folk who enjoy their lives to the full after Transition. We are for

the most part happy ,,the alternative involves chasing after shadows/dreams

and denying oneself the chance of happiness. Make the most of what you got.

Life gave us lemons so we make lemonade ,,,enjoy. luv,viv

[Guest Amber Jean]

I'd sale my soul to the devil himself if I could go back and be born a GG. I'm sick to death of not feeling as good as all the GGs in the world.

I can agree with you here Ashley. For what its worth, over the years I prayed to God, the Devil, The greek and roman Gods, the earth mother and the moon and stars to be a GG. I went through my 20's cursing them all for putting me through this. I nearly killed myself several times over not just because I was trans, but also because I didn't want to walk this path...I just wanted to be normal. I can never view being trans as a gift. Have there been improvements in my life since my "breakdown" and start of transition? Yes, definately, my life has improved. BUT, had I been born either male or female without the trans aspect, it stands to reason that I could have cut out 25 years of utter dispair, depression, hate and self loathing. Maybe I would have been successful in life. Maybe I would have a family which I will never have. I will never Birth nor Father a child because of what was going on with me. There is so much I missed in life that that no matter how things turn out through the transition, I could never view it as a gift. Becky dear, I love you to death and you tuely are an inspiration to me in so many ways, but this is not a gift to me. I'm glad that you have found what you need though. I wish I could and I hope that one day I do.

~A

[Guest Melanie Dawn]

I am in the boat in that it is a gift... As wife says, i am a better person now that i am transitioning, and treating her better. Yes, I wish i was born a GG, but looking to the future and knowing i will be unified (mind and body) is exciting... I have not always been this way, but the long I am involved in this, I feel this to be true. I am a much happier person, and I know I am doing the right thing.

Melanie Dawn

[Guest Emily Ray]

I'd sale my soul to the devil himself if I could go back and be born a GG. I'm sick to death of not feeling as good as all the GGs in the world.

Ashley,

All the GG's I know haven't always been happy some still aren't. Today I was with a friend that I hadn't seen in two years who had gone through a double mastectomy. As important as breasts are to me I don't think it would be as devastating to loose them as it is for a GG.

Huggs,

Emily

[Guest Elizabeth K]

NEVER

I feel I would rather NEVER known what it was to be male - and have you ask this girl today if I understood the male animal, and I would grin and say "No way, I haven't a clue."

Lizzy

[Guest Jean Davis]

WOW this is truely disturbing.

Not your topic Becky, I think it's truely wonderful though I wouldn't call being trans a gift or a curse but just one of life's experiences.

What I do worry about is all the negative replies. A very wonderful woman once told me that I should be remembering the good events I have shared with my grandmother before she passed, cherish them and let the negative ones go. I later had to remind her to look for the silver lining when she was about to lose her home and having problems. Well I'm pretty sure you guessed who I'm referring to. Yup it's Sally, one of the very best people I have ever had the fortune to meet.

I mean sure being trans is rough, especially if you are just looking at the negative aspects. The way I see it is there are many other problems that I could have been born with that are much worse than being trans. We tend to get caught up with our own problems and forget those that have life much worse than we do, I thank God often that I have full function of my entire body and that I don't have any really serious mental illness. There are those out there that don't have any option at all on how they live and have no option of their life becomeing better and they have a better outlook on life than I have read here. They look forward to every day that they have and this is a lesson that we must work at learning.

Sure you can argue that it kept you from doing the things that you wanted to do but think of the things that you did do that perhaps you wouldn't have experienced if you were born as your correct gender. Then there's the cost factor, I'll talk about money wise first. Do you realize that these people that are worse off than us would probably be more than happy to just have the option of cure and work their entire life to pay off whatever debt just to be able to function or think as well as we do. We at least have options. Then there's the cost with relationships, whether it's a job, marriage or friendship. If you were not trans you wouldn't be you and probably wouldn't be with the person that you're currently with. There are aspects of your personality that these relationships were drawn to that may not of been there if you were not you. Also if you think the pain that you are inflicting on those relationships is bad, well you're right there but remember it could be worse. With all the domistic abuse going on who's to say that if you didn't have that warm loving part that this wouldn't happen to your relationship.

True we have a tough life but compared with other options I'm happy to be whom I am. I just have to work a little harder to see the "silver lining" in the events that I experience in life and allow the negative ones to fall to the side.

LUV

Jean

[Milly]

That's one way of looking at it Jean but for me misery is hard to avoid. Sure there are other people with worse lives than mine but those are theirs and this is mine. I have to worry about how I can't pay the bills, how I can't find a job, how I am who I am and how it will affect my life. See if I thought about how bad everyone's life was I would be even more miserable. Sure you can call this selfish, you can call it jaded but I call it living my life how I can and right now I can't imagine why I should even bother to go on. All too often I'm told, "well there are plenty of people out there like you and they are seeing the good" well great for them but when my life is constantly in the crapper it's really hard to see the good. I'm happy you found the light but right now all I feel is scorn and contempt for the world and it's "wonders".

Sorry this is venomous but it's really all I feel lately.

[Guest Jean Davis]

That's one way of looking at it Jean but for me misery is hard to avoid. Sure there are other people with worse lives than mine but those are theirs and this is mine. I have to worry about how I can't pay the bills, how I can't find a job, how I am who I am and how it will affect my life. See if I thought about how bad everyone's life was I would be even more miserable. Sure you can call this selfish, you can call it jaded but I call it living my life how I can and right now I can't imagine why I should even bother to go on. All too often I'm told, "well there are plenty of people out there like you and they are seeing the good" well great for them but when my life is constantly in the crapper it's really hard to see the good. I'm happy you found the light but right now all I feel is scorn and contempt for the world and it's "wonders".

Sorry this is venomous but it's really all I feel lately.

Well honey I don't really know you too well but I can think of three things that you can be thankful for right off the top of my head.

First is that you have choices that you can make to improve your situation. Now I'm not saying that these choices are going to be easy but you do have then, you just have to look a bit harder to find the ones that are appropriate for you.

Second is that you have a wonderful place you can go to get support and advice with beautiful people (handsome for the guys) that understand and are willing to help.

Third is that you are alive, any and all change for the positive start with that.

I know that you will think that those are kinda corny but I'm sure if you think about some of the good things that has happened or that you have in your life you'll find more that are better than what I have listed.

Give it a try for a week, what do you have to lose.

LUV

Jean

[Milly]

It's quite easy to say I have the means to fix my situation. However to actually go through with them is where it gets hard. Let's see, I have applied at every job I am able to via snagajob, indeed, even the main sites like whataburger etc. I have gone into several interviews, 5 in the past month, none with any results. Smile on my face and being kind so it's not my attitude. What else can I do? I can't apply for any benefits and with the economy the way it is, it's already hard to find a job. So doing my best with the job hunt just isn't enough. It is hopeless, it really is. I stopped smoking pot a month or so ago. So it has to be out of my system by now. I didn't pay for pot, like I'm not paying for this net. So basically I'm forced to sit around with my thumbs up my rear because I have no means of transportation during the week. I've no license to drive and even though I want to learn I can't because we have no gas to do so with atm.

It really is like a flood of crap just flew on top of me. I don't know how else I should feel. It's very easy to make up things I should be happy about but in the end it does me no good. I need a job first and foremost. I need money to transition. I need to transition to be happy. The only way I feel I can get money is robbing people. That is a terrible idea because it means I would lose any chance at happiness. So yeah it really is hard to feel happy when you are surrounded by depression all the time.

Being alive means nothing to me, because I've wished for death at least 100 different times this week. I want to die, I hate my life and if I could just turn off the switch to my life I would but alas I hate pain. It would cause my friends tremendous pain should I kill myself so I can't. Really the only thing I have to look forward to is talking to my friends lately. They are the only things besides pain preventing me from painting the walls with my brain. Since the net decides to crap out every other day I am often left with nothing but my thoughts, which leads to bouts like the other day were I cut my arm up with a razor. Probably will scar too. Oh well.

But I will try to put on a plastic smile and see where it gets me.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Now Ashley

Have you even considered going back to school? With all that free time you should be able to get some pretty good grades in whatever subjects you decide to take. Puls you can get a Gov loan or grant for the schooling and other expences. Here's the site I found for the loan http://www.govloans.gov/govloans_en.portal?_nfpb=true&browseLoans_1_actionOverride=%2FBrowseAllLoansFlow%2Fll_report&_windowLabel=browseLoans_1&browseLoans_1currentSubType=5&browseLoans_1bid=4370&_pageLabel=gbcc_page_locateEducation, perhaps with all that time on your hands you could find the site for the Gov. grants and see what career classes are available either on-line or in your town. There are always options, not saying that they are easy or quick, but everything good has a cost and paying that cost only makes the good event that much more rewarding to you.

LUV

Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

No one ever wants or wanted to be transgendered. I have had very lengthy conversations on this very subject with my mother. It is no one's fault that one is transgendered. My mother grieved for quite some time that somehow she was responsible for me being transgendered. I assured her and others that no one is to blame and that being transgendered is better to be understood than ignored. In time, my mother embraced who I am.

Assuring others that being transgendered is natural, and a totally understandable state of being, takes work, but is far worth it.

This brings me to ourselves... the true gift is to understand that one is transgendered. That single moment of truth when all becomes clear and explains everything that one has been experiencing, emotionally, physically, socially, etc. To understand and truely grasp that one is transgendered opens the door to true living. As one understands and accepts themselves, one then can explain clearly to others what being transgendered means.

Being transgendered does not mean a life of hardship and despair. On the contrary, to know that you are transgendered allows you to make the right choices and to live in true harmony.

Allow life to evolve for you as you grow in your understanding of yourself. Life is very hard and nothing is for free. Transgendered life is even harder, but if you know that you are transgendered, you will rise to the challenge.

nosce te ipsum ("know thyself")

or

temet nosce ("thine own self thou must know")

Love

Brenda

[Milly]

Filed for Fafsa. All this time I have means squat with no transportation to utilize it properly. I have very much been trying to get back into school but no money and no car means driving the 30 minutes to that school is not feasible. Even with the online classes it's more or less you still have to go up there for tests. Granted I will be trying for the online ones but I still need a job. I am currently waiting on whether or not I am still able to get the fafsa as we made just enough the past few years not to qualify for it. Gotta love being broke but just making ends meet. It's not as if I haven't thought about it. I have, all I can do is think, and with how helpless I've felt in the past 5 years I don't see that changing now. I will look at that site in hopes I can find something I don't have to pay back with interest. I can honestly say life sucks. Not everyone is blessed with the right circumstances, right family, money. Yeah you can say "oh well you can change that!" No you really can't. If you aren't well off you will just feed the endless cycle of poverty. Only a few people can make it out of a hellhole. I truly feel no hope for my life. It's not fair and all I can say is I wish for death nonstop. I know being 24 the HRT will have little effect on me, I will be a 6'2" walking monster. I fear when the time in august comes for therapy Boom it will be something that puts it off. Something always comes up. I've yet to have one thing go right since my dad died 5 years ago.

I want to be happy, I really do. But. It's so foreign to me. I know only sadness and despair. I want to cast off these fetters I've placed on myself but nothing helps. I rise up above it every few days and feel great and boom, I'm back down again. It's gotten really bad lately as I've all but lost my faith. It hangs in there like a thread supporting a huge weight. FML.

[Guest viv]

Hun I feel so sorry for you ,I really do . I sometimes use the sentence "no matter what

direction I look in theres c**p"- feels like theres no chance of a break -life sucks.

That wont last forever Hun,,please believe me ,,it wont . But for now you got to learn

some survival skills so this phase in your life will do you no harm ,,maybe toughen you

up a tad < thats ok tho. Every person on this earth has something they like to do ,all

of us . Let me put it this way - I love to jog , when I am feeling really bad I get out

and run . Thing is I think to myself " ok viv, outa here and run this crap out of my

system" ,,I dont know how our heads work but I know this ,the act of even trying to put

things right make us feel better (( survival skills )) , I guess its one part of our

brain telling the other this kid aint giving in ,,no white flag today amigo !!!! Till

things improve for you Ashley you got to get in there and hang on , use whatever it takes.

Sorry re your Father Hun,,took me ages to get over the death of mine . Oh,,BTW,,did

ya say 24 or 25 years of age ???? --Ashley ,you have time , you have tons of time !!!!

Re your height , look at the other members her at 6 plus foot - they are at least

passable- and more . Hun you owe it to yourself ,,learn how to get through these times .

luv,viv

[Milly]

Sorry I had to give it some thought before I posted here. I don't really feel like flinging anymore venom. I mean if you Viv are telling me to suck it up(I'm just summing it up) I know that I need to do that. You lost alot in the past few weeks from what I've seen and still you hold out hope for a better life. This is inspiring, I just want to thank you for hitting me in the head with truth. You too jean, I may not have seen it then in my pissy mood but you helped me. Thank you! Also I checked out that link, a bit wary on things I have to pay back. No job so I will delve into that further later. I guess in the meantime I just need to fill out more apps and etc. Drawing too, need to get back into that if I want a decent web comic or something idk. Still thinking on all that. S far too long I've sat here urinating and moaning about life only to look at myself rather than others. I just need to try, it's very hard but I do have a few things going for me at the moment. I know for a fact I will be down again but that's just part of being bipolar. I need to see the light in life. So! Let's make a list of what I DO have.

1. I have friends and one who is quite devoted to my crappy art work (it really makes me happy that she likes it) She says its not crap but all I can see are the flaws, that is what's wrong with me. All I want to see is negative.

2. I have a semi working net connection, sure it goes out in the rain but hell that's life I guess, it happens.

3. I have a wonderful collection of movies games and music on my pc in case that happens so yeah.

4. I am trans, that alone makes me strange and I love strangeness! Well good strangeness. This is a good thing I guess. It makes you realize the hardships in life, you appreciate them more than others may.

5. I have a mother and brother who deeply support me in my path. Granted they may not like it or the fact they are losing a son/bro they are gaining a daughter/sister. Hell I don't even look at it like the old me is dying, just a mask I've put on so long, more a part of who I really am.

6. I'm losing weight! Yep lost I would say 40 pounds in the past few months? 14 in the last 2 weeks.

That's all I can think of atm, brain is a bit fried from that drawing I did earlier...

Thank you all for bonking my head to help me realize what a selfish bit...female dog I've been.

You too Jessie. You've helped me out so much and it means so much to me that you are my best friend. Thank you. =)

[Guest Hoslers_wife]

I really admire your attitude! I love being gay and I embrace it to the point of identifying myself solely on my sexuality (I'm working on that) I truely believe everyone is ahnded a unique gift in life and it's up to you to embrace and love yourself with it. Thank you for posting this! I think a lot of people needed to hear it.

[Guest someone else]

Um yea... and that gift destroys everything in your past life. You're forced to start an entirely new life. Wow! What a gift! I am actually enjoying being transsexual. It suits me very well. I just can't get myself to think of it as a gift it's just who I am.

[Guest AshleyRF]

I wouldn't embrace being trans if you paid for my SRS. I don't talk about it anymore to anyone really other than my mom and my wife and after my SRS I won't even do that. I am going to try my best to just forget it all. Suit me fine if I never heard the word transsexual (or an form of) ever again.

[Guest Emily Ray]

I am posting again and still think that being trans is a gift. The idea that being cisgender gives cisgendered a get out of sffering free card is just childish! There are two things that we are all gauranteed in life Suffering and Death. We have to make our own happiness The idea that GG's live a golden life because they were born that way is again childish. If you doubt my words just go down to the nearest homeless shelter and speak to them. Thay are abused by men way more then we are. I as a transwoman won't tolerate any man that shows a sign of being dangerous to me. I think it is cowadly and deserves long prison sentences for even the smallest act. As for the GM's they have there own problems trying to support a family that they love dearly and is counting on them to bring home the bread that they eat. I remember these presures clearly. I was always able to provide but sometimes it was close. I find being trans agift because we know the feelings and suffering of all people men or women girl or boy. And if you don't think that empathy is a valuable gift then you should think again. It is the key to healthy relationships.

If I were ever to marry a man I would not be like many cisgendered wives and just expect things from my husband or make huge demands of him that would add to his already stressful position of provider. That is my gift to him my husband the one who will goto work and do any job necessary to make sure I can have clothes and a roof over my head and food in the cupboard. Is it not a gift to have this understanding at such a deep level that only other men and transwomen know. In my view Knoledge gained is valuable no mater how it was gained and it usually involves some level of suffering, no, ALWAYS involves suffering. Life isn't a bowl of cherries for anyone though it may seem like that at first glance. Look deep into the lives of those around you and you will see all kinds of suffering.

The gift of being trans is our suffering can have an ending. As for me once I came out to the world as being trans it lost all of its power to ever hurt me. No matter what anyone else thinks of me I know and love me. I know the value thst I have and what I can offer my friends as a result of being trans. Two nights ago I was helping my cousin to deal with her best friend who is always complainig about some dates shortcomings and why she should discontinue the relationship. The man that I was describing and his nature for her had been her latest date and it seems that he can be worth a relationship. I knew what she needed and how that need could be met by only a man because I have been on both sides of the fence. Is that not a gift to be able to help two people find happiness in one another. I think it is and only The Trans community can understand things as well as the individuals we are relating to no matter their sex. yes being trans is a gift and a grand one at that.

All gifts come with dark side to them. lets look at the gift of prophetic visions. the holders of this gift often see negative even horiffic events that they for the most part can do nothing about. then their vision is confirmed weeks later in a newspaper and the feel terrible that they could do nothing to stop it from occuring. But they also see happy things and are able to give support to the ones that these visions contain occasionally. Being trans is no different. once you recognize that you are that way it your responsibilty to either correct or continue suffering, no one else can help you until you start helping yourself once you do the suffering will pass.

I have heared many stories of sexual abuse that seems to happen to us frequently. but, it dosen't happen to just us and for us to think that anthing about us brought this horrible despicable act against us is wrong. There is only one person who can suffer the blame for the act or acts an that is the perpitrator and only the perpitrator. It needs to be disconected from being trans. being trans had nothing to do with it and to say that it did is wrong. It also relieves some of the culpibilty of the victimiser and none of us want to do that.

I am truly heartbroken over the suffering of my fellow trans sisters and brothers. I have shared your pain. I have suffered the same wounds. I have made the same pleas for mercy. I do not want anyone to feel that I am belittleing their suffering Iam not and would never do so because it would be belittleing my own. I am transgendered and I always will be. It does not define me though nothing ever could except the name Emily Ray Frisbie. If you want to know who I am you will have to know Emily Ray Frisbie because she defines me and no other ever will again.

Love

Emily

[Guest Emily Ray]

Ashley,

Have you considered the job corps. they have programs all over the country. they pay for your living expenses while they train you. then they help you find a job and make sure that you can get to it and have a roof over your head. It does involve the sacrifise of moving, what a small price to pay for eventual happiness.

Huggs

Emily

[Milly]

Eh to be honest I thought I was too old for Job corp being 24. It should be fine though because I am applying at my mom's job and I won't say where but it's a bank and from what she said they are very very very supportive of trans. She told a higher up I was looking for a job and the lady said her cousin was trans and a person was going through the transition up there as well. Any harassment I should receive would result in said offender being banhammered from that job hehe.

I'm filling out the app now but I still need a job so if this don't happen I'll just keep on trucking and find one. Moving out would be bad for me now because my mom said she wants me to stay til I get this going because it's going to be extremely hard to transition and pay the bills. Though I don't want to be here forever, I would just like to get on therapy and get a fulltime job and move out. I know she wants me to stay but I need my freedom and I don't want her to get harassed because I live with her. After I fill this out I'm going to check the job corp, thought it said something like a age limit or something though...

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hey Ashley

I'm happy to hear that you are trying to look for the good things in your life, I know that it can be tough to see them when times are tough.

I have an idea that may help, I do this often but forgot to mention it. When I have time on my hands (which is a lot being underemployed for a 1 1/2 years and drawing unemployment) I go and ask my neighbors if they have any tasks that I could do for them. Usually I don't ask to be paid and most of the time I get more then I would have asked for if they have something for me to do.

But here's the thing, this helps in a couple of ways.

First, if you work hard and do a good job you can use that neighbor for a reference on job applications.

Second, when you get to know your neighbor and he/she knows that you are looking for a job they often will refer you to places that they know are hiring or places that they have some pull with.

Third, you can learn useful trades from them that you can use.

Fourth, you get to spend your time doing something constructive and not just worrying.

Fifth, it is a nice gesture that you will feel good about and perhaps gain you a friend that may support you while you transition.

Just something to think about and perhaps try.

LUV

Jean

BTW, I feel as though I should apologize to Becky. I really didn't mean to go this far off topic and hope that we can bring this back on topic.

Sorry Becky for messing up your topic.

[Guest BeckyTG]

Hey Ashley

I'm happy to hear that you are trying to look for the good things in your life, I know that it can be tough to see them when times are tough.

I have an idea that may help, I do this often but forgot to mention it. When I have time on my hands (which is a lot being underemployed for a 1 1/2 years and drawing unemployment) I go and ask my neighbors if they have any tasks that I could do for them. Usually I don't ask to be paid and most of the time I get more then I would have asked for if they have something for me to do.

But here's the thing, this helps in a couple of ways.

First, if you work hard and do a good job you can use that neighbor for a reference on job applications.

Second, when you get to know your neighbor and he/she knows that you are looking for a job they often will refer you to places that they know are hiring or places that they have some pull with.

Third, you can learn useful trades from them that you can use.

Fourth, you get to spend your time doing something constructive and not just worrying.

Fifth, it is a nice gesture that you will feel good about and perhaps gain you a friend that may support you while you transition.

Just something to think about and perhaps try.

LUV

Jean

BTW, I feel as though I should apologize to Becky. I really didn't mean to go this far off topic and hope that we can bring this back on topic.

Sorry Becky for messing up your topic.

Jean,

Even though you THOUGHT you may have been getting off track, the reality is, you were more on-track than you first thought.

My whole point in making the statement "Being Trans is a Gift" is the idea that we stop looking at things in such a negative way. No matter what situation we may find ourselves, there's always something positive about it. There are positives and negatives to everything. We get what we seek out.

Remember, "Seek and you shall find". Those who seek negatives will surely find them and those who seek only the good things shall also find them.

I recently came out to a couple and the man confided in me that he had battled severe depression for years. He had told no one about it, but his description of his own experience seemed like he not only had a good idea about how being trans scrambles the brain, he had experienced serious "brain-scrambling" himself, only he wasn't trans. I've been through everything he has, only *I* have the gift of being trans.

In this case, being trans is like a "get out of jail free" card. I can take medications (hormones) and, in what seems like no time at all, I feel better. In fact, my mental stress, torture, torment and general unrest is GONE. I'm cured, just like that. He can't do that, he doesn't have the gift of being trans, so he must continue to suffer....

Your post pointed out positive things a person can do about a negative situation. You pointed out that we should think positive things and, if we can't, to DO positive things. If you do enough positive things, pretty soon you can think positive thoughts. Thinking positive thoughts is the best way to make positive things happen.

We ARE what we think about. If we always expect negatives, we'll fulfill our expectations. The gift of being trans gives us a map, a way out, a means to right the conflict in our heads. The non-trans world has to suffer. It almost seems like being trans is too big a gift for us to understand. We get the gift, don't know how to make it work, so we toss it aside as a liability. We just don't see how it works.

If we can see the "gift of being trans" and understand how it truly works, then we can use it for our own good and it can bring us happiness we could only dream about.

As for me, I'm glad I have the gift. I'm glad I can finally be who I was truly meant to be all these years. I'm glad to finally get the true key to happiness.

Thank you for your wonderful thoughts.

Hugs,

Becky

[Sakura]

in the nearly 6 years i have been living as a woman. i feel more like an alien now, than i did before i started transition. in that i mean, im stuck in a strange form of limbo. were i have progressed so far into my gender that i dont feel like a transsexual any more but at the same time there is a few thing and a level of relation that i am missing that is keeping me from feeling 100% female.

i once felt that way "this is a gift " i think the vast majority of new transsexuals do. but now as i have gotten deeper and more integrated into my gender role. it feels like a stone around my neck only serving the purpose of holding me back .

not to mention the untold missery and pain that has been a direct result of being trans. my biggest problem as of late is my gender marker still nagging me. out clubbing ( i go to straight bars) im one step away from one sleezy bartender getting too good a look at my DL and outting me. just in this past year and a half. i have nearly been murdered 3 times for just the senario i mentioned or at the very least beat to with in an inch of my life.

i will save all the tear jerking stories i have for later

though i do agree there are some sunny sides but i have gone so far past them i cant remember what they were. things i think of as gifts my nieces and nephews are a gift. my mostly supporting though some times ignorant family is a gift. my talent as a artist is a gift. transsexuality............. is my cross to bare

Sakura