Jump to content

  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My Book

Guest CattalieChan

By Guest CattalieChan,
in Books

Recommended Posts

Guest CattalieChan

Guest CattalieChan

Posted
Posted

Here is the first chapter of my book about a t girl who doesn't end up making it. I woud like feedback on the style if at all possible.

Amber

Link to comment
Guest Twist

Guest Twist

Posted
Posted

If you're asking about style, yes, you have it ;) Your style is very strong and compelling, I like it a lot. There are various grammatical and punctuation errors, which might not seem so important at this point, but they can really impede how a piece is read. An awesome sentence can be ruined by a poorly placed comma. Which is just my inner editing nerd speaking, to basically remind you that if you're going to create this book, you will need a lot of editing and re-editing and content editing and all. Which, by the way, I really hope you do. You have a great voice and a strong introduction. Keep writing and keep us updated!

Link to comment
Guest sarah from sweden

Guest sarah from sweden

Posted
Posted

Well Finally find it ;)

And i have to say GREAT stuff hon. You DEFENETLY have talent to keep writing dear :D BRAVO!!!!!!!

And hon i do mean this as i NEVER kiss ...... Fore anyone and im, ALWAYS straight up and honest B)

Link to comment
Guest Sotha

Guest Sotha

Posted
Posted

I've been following this story since you first made the thread (long time, huh), and I am loving it. You have composed it very well. There's just a bit of cleaning to do, and then it shall be perfect! Mwahahahah! ... Needless to say, I'll keep reading it.

<3 Kate

Link to comment
Guest CattalieChan

Guest CattalieChan

Posted
Posted

Well I'm glad that my story was enjoyable. Personally I feel like I am just dragging it out so much, but that's because I already know what I want to happen. Editing will probabibly take place after the story is finished, but you all are welcome to edit for me. Thank you all for the support, and I'll keep writing.

Amber

Link to comment
Guest sarah from sweden

Guest sarah from sweden

Posted
Posted

Well I'm glad that my story was enjoyable. Personally I feel like I am just dragging it out so much, but that's because I already know what I want to happen. Editing will probabibly take place after the story is finished, but you all are welcome to edit for me. Thank you all for the support, and I'll keep writing.

Amber

Well hon i think that you manage to capture the true essence of a true TS and how sed person feels about this so far

As fore dragging it out ? From what i understand about this its VERY important to be able to describe a seen in as much detail as possible without getting overboard of course so that the characters can better come to life sweetie (learnt this from my RP in another sight were we ONLY use words and pics ;) )

As fore the cleaning up ? Well what we ALL have to remember is hat we Rome wasn't built on a day ether and a true writer CONSTANTLY evolves in hees /hers writing So JUST keep on writing dear and you will get better and better on this as the time goes darling B)

Link to comment
Guest sarah from sweden

Guest sarah from sweden

Posted
Posted

As expected MARVELOUS darling (clapping my hands )

Like i sed before you DEFENETLY have the grounds fore become a GREAT writer Amber (and as far as i know thats also a FEMALE contribution ;) ) So DO continue to write as long as you feel YOU get something out of it dear and continue to perfect you're own writing stile dear

And as i sed before from my point of view you have DEFENETLY manage`t to grasp the true essence of a young Ts dear :D

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest Tess

Guest Tess

Posted
Posted

I really enjoyed reading your work so far. It would have been great to have had a friend to talk to at school, but I doubt whether any of the girls I hung out with would have been sympathetic. Keep writing, I'm looking forward to chapter 4.

Link to comment
Guest Sotha

Guest Sotha

Posted
Posted

The third chapter was wonderful, but it did get a bit confusing in parts.

Switching between first and third person like that could be a bad thing. And you did it well in Chapter 3, but be careful. You should, however, be consistent in how you indicate internal dialog. I, personally, like when thought is italicised, rather than put in quotation marks, but it's up to you.

At least I hope I understood the intended purposes of everything. Otherwise, it's too confusing! :P

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go to topic listing

  • Who's Online   11 Members, 0 Anonymous, 232 Guests (See full list)

    • Jani
    • Genny
    • VickySGV
    • Cyndee
    • ClaireBloom
    • April Marie
    • Petra Jane
    • mattie22
    • Mmindy
    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,087
    • Most Online
      8,356
    TransNameA
    Newest Member
    TransNameA
    Joined

  • Today's Birthdays

    1. FullyHart
      FullyHart
    2. MariPosa
      MariPosa
      (65 years old)
    3. pechenezhka
      pechenezhka
      (17 years old)
    4. Rubycd
      Rubycd
      (59 years old)
    5. Yana
      Yana
      (31 years old)
    View all

  • Posts

    • Betty K
      What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?

      By Betty K · Posted

      That looks good, thanks Ivy.
    • ClaireBloom
      Is it normal to feel like the most selfish horrible person in the world?

      By ClaireBloom · Posted

      I completely relate to this.  My partner of 5 years has made it clear she won't be going with me if I go down this path. I feel like I wasted her time with my own fear and procrastination.  I visit my elderly parents (my mother has dementia) and my first thought is there's no way I can put them through this. I think the same thing when I see my adult daughters.     Nobody is holding us hostage but us.  
    • Ivy
      South Carolina Sends Youth Trans Care Ban To Governor

      By Ivy · Posted

      I do get this, really.  However this is part of the reasoning behind the blockers.  Without them there will be "irreversible" changes, only not the ones wanted. No, I don't think this should be done lightly, but I have a problem with forbidding it by law in all cases.
    • Ivy
      I AM A GIRL!!....Are you?

      By Ivy · Posted

      Yeah.  I have 6 of them.  I learned a lot.
    • EasyE
      South Carolina Sends Youth Trans Care Ban To Governor

      By EasyE · Posted

      I'm kind of torn on this issue. On the one hand, I have met or seen youngsters, and there is very little doubt they are trans. It would seem cruel to deny them care toward this end. On the other hand, there are many others who may dip their toes into the waters while exploring themselves only to realize it isn't who they are. My daughter had a friend like that in high school. First he wanted to date her. Then he thought he was transfeminine for a season then realized that wasn't him.   We go slow on so many other things with kids. We don't let underaged folks drink or vote. We would question someone who locked into a career at age 12-15 (though there ARE some people who do know exactly what they want to do when they grow up very early in life). We would discourage marrying very young, etc.   I'm never crazy about government regulations on things because they tend to screw everything up. So I hate this has become such a political football where neither side listens to the other... But there is wisdom in going slow and allowing things to play out and making sure before such drastic measures as blocking puberty and having surgeries are taken...   Of course, it should be a person-by-person decision, working in concert with family, community and medical professionals, but it seems we never want to do it this way. We always seem to want to throw everyone and everything into a one-size-fits-all dynamic... 
    • EasyE
      Fatigued! Is it the HRT?

      By EasyE · Posted

      Hey all, been on estrogen monotherapy for about two months. Man, I am just tired all the time. I feel like I have a low-level cold. Hard to get out of bed in the mornings. Even when I get in a good 8-9 hours sleep. Just have the blahs. Leg muscles are sore, like I ran all day...   There are a lot of other potential factors. I drink way too much caffeine (though I have always done that and not always felt this tired). I tend to stay up late on nights when I have to get up early the next morning. Not enough exercise. Have some thyroid issues, though I thought I had those back within normal ranges. Possible low potassium levels.   I realize no one here is a medical pro, per say, just curious if it is in others' experience to feel extreme fatigue for a season when starting HRT. This is one of the reasons I chose not to do spiro, is that I read it could cause lethargy and fatigue and make you pee all the time (I am having those issues too), but I am having a hard time with these effects anyways.   I suspect my T was low before I even started HRT (just by observing how the, err, equipment, hasn't functioned so robustly over the past few years)... Maybe my body isn't sure who is in charge right now in terms of hormones since a new sheriff has arrived but only in minor quantities at this point... thanks again!   EasyE
    • EasyE
      I AM A GIRL!!....Are you?

      By EasyE · Posted

      I relate to a lot of this ... in my 50s now ... never really questioned my body but have always been fascinated with girl stuff (and loved that I had two daughters because it gave me an excuse to explore the feminine world more)...   I like how you said this: "When I dared to take another peek inside, my egg cracked big time." Yep ... yep ... yep...  
    • Ivy
      What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?

      By Ivy · Posted

      This is kinda long but if somebody is interested…   https://medium.com/prismnpen/cass-review-weaponized-political-right-497080b8c6d2    
    • Desert Fox
      5 months into my transition

      By Desert Fox · Posted

      Sorry to hear you lost both your parents young. My dad died from a heart attack when I was 10. My mom died a few years ago. I never came out, truly, to either of them, about my gender identity. On one hand it is freeing, not having to deal with “what would they think or feel about me now” but on the other hand, I wish they had truly known.
    • Ivy
      Good morning All. Coffees on.

      By Ivy · Posted

      I think a lot of us did this.
    • Ivy
      South Carolina Sends Youth Trans Care Ban To Governor

      By Ivy · Posted

      Not optimistic, myself.
    • Mmindy
      Good morning All. Coffees on.

      By Mmindy · Posted

      This is fantastic, We're adding a Boxer to our family sometime this evening or tomorrow. His name is Parker. We'll be crate training him as well as introducing him to two cats that have never been around a dog.   Pictures to follow later,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ivy
      Trump Vows to Roll Back Title IX Protections for Trans Youth "On Day One"

      By Ivy · Posted

      I still don't understand how any queer people can vote for these people.  I'll just leave it at that.
    • ClaireBloom
      No more talk

      By ClaireBloom · Posted

      Thanks Kathy!    Some place where the peer pressure is to dress more feminine instead of less.  Imagine that. I haven't left the house in fem clothing since an outing to a local LGBT club over 15 years ago.   She's also pointed me to some support groups so that's next as well.     And for those who noticed, yes, I committed a rather egregious grammatical error in my post, but I couldn't figure out how to edit it.  That stuff bugs me to death. Geez Louise .
    • Ivy
      MS Gov. Signs Public School Bathroom Ban

      By Ivy · Posted

      Just more of the same.  Unfortunately, I'm coming to expect it.

  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...