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My Book

Guest CattalieChan

By Guest CattalieChan,
in Books

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Guest CattalieChan

Guest CattalieChan

Posted
Posted

Here is the first chapter of my book about a t girl who doesn't end up making it. I woud like feedback on the style if at all possible.

Amber

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Guest Twist

Guest Twist

Posted
Posted

If you're asking about style, yes, you have it ;) Your style is very strong and compelling, I like it a lot. There are various grammatical and punctuation errors, which might not seem so important at this point, but they can really impede how a piece is read. An awesome sentence can be ruined by a poorly placed comma. Which is just my inner editing nerd speaking, to basically remind you that if you're going to create this book, you will need a lot of editing and re-editing and content editing and all. Which, by the way, I really hope you do. You have a great voice and a strong introduction. Keep writing and keep us updated!

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Guest sarah from sweden

Guest sarah from sweden

Posted
Posted

Well Finally find it ;)

And i have to say GREAT stuff hon. You DEFENETLY have talent to keep writing dear :D BRAVO!!!!!!!

And hon i do mean this as i NEVER kiss ...... Fore anyone and im, ALWAYS straight up and honest B)

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Guest Sotha

Guest Sotha

Posted
Posted

I've been following this story since you first made the thread (long time, huh), and I am loving it. You have composed it very well. There's just a bit of cleaning to do, and then it shall be perfect! Mwahahahah! ... Needless to say, I'll keep reading it.

<3 Kate

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Guest CattalieChan

Guest CattalieChan

Posted
Posted

Well I'm glad that my story was enjoyable. Personally I feel like I am just dragging it out so much, but that's because I already know what I want to happen. Editing will probabibly take place after the story is finished, but you all are welcome to edit for me. Thank you all for the support, and I'll keep writing.

Amber

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Guest sarah from sweden

Guest sarah from sweden

Posted
Posted

Well I'm glad that my story was enjoyable. Personally I feel like I am just dragging it out so much, but that's because I already know what I want to happen. Editing will probabibly take place after the story is finished, but you all are welcome to edit for me. Thank you all for the support, and I'll keep writing.

Amber

Well hon i think that you manage to capture the true essence of a true TS and how sed person feels about this so far

As fore dragging it out ? From what i understand about this its VERY important to be able to describe a seen in as much detail as possible without getting overboard of course so that the characters can better come to life sweetie (learnt this from my RP in another sight were we ONLY use words and pics ;) )

As fore the cleaning up ? Well what we ALL have to remember is hat we Rome wasn't built on a day ether and a true writer CONSTANTLY evolves in hees /hers writing So JUST keep on writing dear and you will get better and better on this as the time goes darling B)

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Guest sarah from sweden

Guest sarah from sweden

Posted
Posted

As expected MARVELOUS darling (clapping my hands )

Like i sed before you DEFENETLY have the grounds fore become a GREAT writer Amber (and as far as i know thats also a FEMALE contribution ;) ) So DO continue to write as long as you feel YOU get something out of it dear and continue to perfect you're own writing stile dear

And as i sed before from my point of view you have DEFENETLY manage`t to grasp the true essence of a young Ts dear :D

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Tess

Guest Tess

Posted
Posted

I really enjoyed reading your work so far. It would have been great to have had a friend to talk to at school, but I doubt whether any of the girls I hung out with would have been sympathetic. Keep writing, I'm looking forward to chapter 4.

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Guest Sotha

Guest Sotha

Posted
Posted

The third chapter was wonderful, but it did get a bit confusing in parts.

Switching between first and third person like that could be a bad thing. And you did it well in Chapter 3, but be careful. You should, however, be consistent in how you indicate internal dialog. I, personally, like when thought is italicised, rather than put in quotation marks, but it's up to you.

At least I hope I understood the intended purposes of everything. Otherwise, it's too confusing! :P

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