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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

This morning I talked to someone about something that I have an issue talking about and I did a pretty good job. It was hard but I did it. :) It's a great feeling :D I feel relieved. Now all I got to do is talk to my therapist about it. But that will take a long time to build the courage to do that. One day though I will be able to do it :)

My mum is planning on going to my aunt's either tomorrow or Saturday. And I'll get to see my niece for her second birthday :D It'll be great. The only thing that's going to suck is I don't know if I'll have Internet access while being there. I will have my computer though. So I will try to get on :D

And if we leave tomorrow maybe I can somehow get over to the Queer Youth Centre for Friday Group :D I hope so because well I miss it so much haven't been since June 19, 2009. So I am in need :lol:

*sigh* <------- A GOOD sigh :D

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

Hiya Geo :)

<<< hug >>>

It is nice you see you so happy :D

:wub: vanna

*hugs*

Let's hope it stays this way for awhile :D

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Guest Cowboy

Cool to see you happy.

Stayin lifted is a hard thing to do, but im glad to see you're finally feelin it.

Hope it stays that way for ya.

Have fun with your fam. And stay safe. :)

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

I love seein positive posts with your name on it. ^_^

:D There aren't a lot of them are there?

Very nice to see you so happy! *hugs* hope you have fun out there! :)

*hugs* Thank you :D

Cool to see you happy.

Stayin lifted is a hard thing to do, but im glad to see you're finally feelin it.

Hope it stays that way for ya.

Have fun with your fam. And stay safe. :)

:D

It is hard to do and I find it annoying that I can't stay as up as I want to.

Me too. :)

I'll try to :)

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

My mum is planning on going to my aunt's either tomorrow or Saturday. And I'll get to see my niece for her second birthday :D It'll be great. The only thing that's going to suck is I don't know if I'll have Internet access while being there. I will have my computer though. So I will try to get on :D

I decided not to go with them. I can't. I am having anxiety. I have not been around a lot of people in a long time. And I don't feel like seeing my grandmother and hearing she she she she she Stacey Stacey. No thank you >.< GAH!!

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Guest Sam_P

This morning I talked to someone about something that I have an issue talking about and I did a pretty good job. It was hard but I did it. :) It's a great feeling :D I feel relieved. Now all I got to do is talk to my therapist about it. But that will take a long time to build the courage to do that. One day though I will be able to do it :)

I know how tough the talking thing can be so well done for getting through it! *hugs*

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

I know how tough the talking thing can be so well done for getting through it! *hugs*

At least I can talk to him lol wasn't able to talk to therapist today :lol:

It is hard, eh? *hugs*!!!!!!!

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Guest Sam_P

At least I can talk to him lol wasn't able to talk to therapist today :lol:

It is hard, eh? *hugs*!!!!!!!

Like, you're expected to just straight-out reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings to someone you don't know anything about!?

*sympathises muchly*

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

Like, you're expected to just straight-out reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings to someone you don't know anything about!?

*sympathises muchly*

I talked to her for 15 minutes today (can't remember if I said that already :rolleyes: ) I can't do it :lol: I think that I'll end up giving up on therapy and finding someone that can help me just as much :)

:D

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I talked to her for 15 minutes today (can't remember if I said that already :rolleyes: ) I can't do it :lol: I think that I'll end up giving up on therapy and finding someone that can help me just as much :)

:D

Give it some time. It might not come easy to you, but if you can start engaging in the process, it might be really helpful to you. You just have to keep at it, even when it seems like it's not working.

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Guest Sam_P

I talked to her for 15 minutes today (can't remember if I said that already :rolleyes: ) I can't do it :lol: I think that I'll end up giving up on therapy and finding someone that can help me just as much :)

:D

Is therapy not a requirement for any prescription you might want? I'm not sure how your system differs from the UK in that. In order to get T I have to keep going to mine even though after the first time it's simply a formality and a flying visit.

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

Give it some time. It might not come easy to you, but if you can start engaging in the process, it might be really helpful to you. You just have to keep at it, even when it seems like it's not working.

I have given it time *scrumpy face*

It's been years and I can't open up. I can't even talk to her about the trans stuff because I already told her everything and there's nothing else that I can tell her...

It's getting hard though going in there every week (for the most part) and just sitting there not being able to tell her "Hey I'm not feeling too great today. I had a bad episode on Monday. I want to die I want to cut. I think about it all the time. I am constantly being told that I should kill myself by the voices" yea I can't do it I tried and can't... >.<

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

Is therapy not a requirement for any prescription you might want? I'm not sure how your system differs from the UK in that. In order to get T I have to keep going to mine even though after the first time it's simply a formality and a flying visit.

I don't go to therapy for T right now. I go because of my emotional distress I guess you could call it.

But to get T you (for the most part) have to see a therapist for 6 months. Some get it in less time and some get it in more time and some get it without therapy. All depends

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I have given it time *scrumpy face*

It's been years and I can't open up. I can't even talk to her about the trans stuff because I already told her everything and there's nothing else that I can tell her...

It's getting hard though going in there every week (for the most part) and just sitting there not being able to tell her "Hey I'm not feeling too great today. I had a bad episode on Monday. I want to die I want to cut. I think about it all the time. I am constantly being told that I should kill myself by the voices" yea I can't do it I tried and can't... >.<

Have you tried writing all this down and giving it to her either in person or in an email? Might be easier, and then she's on the same playing field as you at least.

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

Have you tried writing all this down and giving it to her either in person or in an email? Might be easier, and then she's on the same playing field as you at least.

You are the third person to tell me to do this. :lol:

I am thinking about trying that. I may wait until a different therapist though. I am talking to someone on Monday about it. I need someone that will be willing to see me on my time and won't push me...

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Guest Amanda joan

GEO,

Telling your truth is something that only you can do. Take your time, love yourself! Yes I said love yourself. Take some time each day to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a handsome Guy. You are you know. This will get you off to a possitive start each day. I would also recomend journaling for a while if you can't get it out another way. This way you can look back from time to time and see where you have been in your thoughts. This also prepares you to share them because as you write what's on your mind down you will try to express it in a way that will make sense when you read it. I know what you are going through I had some really poorly equipt Therapists try to handle me. I did not want to accept what I was feeling so I would just make it up as I went along and try to come up with something that I thought would make sense to them. This did not help me much at all. I was told that I was imature or compulsive. That may have been true but, we never got to anything that made me feel any better about my situation.

Here is my secret; I decide what it means to me. I don't worry about what anyone else thinks! It's none of my business. :huh: Yes that is hard to come to. It is however true. What you feel is your life. If you feel happy, then you have a happy life. If you feel like crap, then you have a crappy life. I choose to feel happy and positive as much as I can and it works for me. What we endevor to do is hard. My goal in life is to find happiness and sucesss, so I am never going to give up on that.

I hope you will find some happiness. Challenge Grandma, Mom and everyone else to hear what you have to say. You deserve to be happy and they deserve a chance to be loving and accepting. OH it's a big step I know. Big dreams demand them.

Peace & Love Amanda

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Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James

GEO,

Telling your truth is something that only you can do. Take your time, love yourself! Yes I said love yourself. Take some time each day to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a handsome Guy. You are you know. This will get you off to a possitive start each day. I would also recomend journaling for a while if you can't get it out another way. This way you can look back from time to time and see where you have been in your thoughts. This also prepares you to share them because as you write what's on your mind down you will try to express it in a way that will make sense when you read it. I know what you are going through I had some really poorly equipt Therapists try to handle me. I did not want to accept what I was feeling so I would just make it up as I went along and try to come up with something that I thought would make sense to them. This did not help me much at all. I was told that I was imature or compulsive. That may have been true but, we never got to anything that made me feel any better about my situation.

Here is my secret; I decide what it means to me. I don't worry about what anyone else thinks! It's none of my business. :huh: Yes that is hard to come to. It is however true. What you feel is your life. If you feel happy, then you have a happy life. If you feel like crap, then you have a crappy life. I choose to feel happy and positive as much as I can and it works for me. What we endevor to do is hard. My goal in life is to find happiness and sucesss, so I am never going to give up on that.

I hope you will find some happiness. Challenge Grandma, Mom and everyone else to hear what you have to say. You deserve to be happy and they deserve a chance to be loving and accepting. OH it's a big step I know. Big dreams demand them.

Peace & Love Amanda

I am currently working on the process of loving myself it's taking a long time though. It's hard to look in the mirror. I avoid it as much as possible. I don't see myself as handsome or attractive. And I don't see what other people see. I have a blog that I just started for my feelings and such like that. Maybe one day I'll show it to my therapist. Or a new one if that's what I end up doing. I have a hard time opening up as it is and when I am pushed I won't talk about what's going on. I hate to be pushed. And having to see her every week doesn't help. It makes it like I have to go. I have to talk. I don't like that. I need to find a therapist that can let me decide what happens. Won't bail if I cancel a lot. Won't make me see them every week. Let me talk when I am ready and about what I want. It's hard to find that.

I don't think that's true. Yes I feel like crap but I don't have a crappy life :huh:

I have tried to voice what I need to and it doesn't work out that way. I end up shutting down because I know that I'll end up getting angry and what not. They all won't accept me. They have said so already. My mum is one of the only ones.

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