Freezing Up In Front Of Others

[Guest sarah f]

No matter how much I have practiced I just can't seem to talk in my feminine voice in front of someone. I can talk in a low male voice but not my feminine voice that I can do when nobody is around. I can even talk in a feminine voice on the phone. I know I pass there because I have been ma'amed multiple times on the phone already. Even today talking to Wal-Mart about my prescription I was ma'amed. Why is it that I can't do it in front of someone? Has anyone else had this problem and what have you done to get passed it?

[Guest 91curiouskitten]

I cant even practice at home, I try to get to the falseeto voice, but I chicken out, afraid someones listeneing or watching, Im replying so I can watch this topic and learn the advice!

[Paula ult]

Sarah hon,

I think it comes down to not having confidence in your female voice and being afraid someone might say something to you, i was the same way, i bit the bullet so to speak and told myself i was just going to use it, my first time was at my local support meeting, it just so happened a post op was giving a talk on voice, she said my voice was pretty good for just starting out, you would be surprised the number of MtF that do not try, thinking that they will never have a good voice, i will not lie to you it can take up to a year or more to get a decent voice, i have worked on mine 16 months, i do not think it is where it should be but nobody looks at me funny and others say it is fine.

Remember practice, practice, practice and start using it.

Paula

[Guest ReginaRenea]

I'd love to know how to get my voice to stay in femenine. every time I try I end up with a sore throat.

Hope I can soon find a way. HUGS to All Regina Renea

[Guest Donna Jean]

Sarah.....

I, too, have been "Ma'am'd" on the phone...

But, I'm not afraid to use it in any situation ..especially when dressed and out...

And when I dress neutral on the weekends and shop I pass...

I have no qualms about using my voice, but I was wary at first..

I'm sure it's just a confidence thing that you'll get past...

I did...

Good luck, Honey!

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

Sarah hon,

I think it comes down to not having confidence in your female voice and being afraid someone might say something to you, i was the same way, i bit the bullet so to speak and told myself i was just going to use it, my first time was at my local support meeting, it just so happened a post op was giving a talk on voice, she said my voice was pretty good for just starting out, you would be surprised the number of MtF that do not try, thinking that they will never have a good voice, i will not lie to you it can take up to a year or more to get a decent voice, i have worked on mine 16 months, i do not think it is where it should be but nobody looks at me funny and others say it is fine.

Remember practice, practice, practice and start using it.

Paula

Paula I practice daily either singing or just talking to myself. There are days like today that I think I sounded really good on the phone and that is why I got ma'amed. There are other days when I try to talk to my therapist, doctor, nail tech, and electrolysis lady and I can't seem to let it out. I try to but it just won't come out. I leave their office and as soon as I get in the car I can do it just fine. It really is frustrating.

[Guest sarah f]

Sarah.....

I, too, have been "Ma'am'd" on the phone...

But, I'm not afraid to use it in any situation ..especially when dressed and out...

And when I dress neutral on the weekends and shop I pass...

I have no qualms about using my voice, but I was wary at first..

I'm sure it's just a confidence thing that you'll get past...

I did...

Good luck, Honey!

Donna Jean

Dee Jay I do hope it is just a confidence thing that will pass very soon. I just get so frustrated and I think that is part of why I can't do it.

[Guest KimberlyF]

Paula I practice daily either singing or just talking to myself. There are days like today that I think I sounded really good on the phone and that is why I got ma'amed. There are other days when I try to talk to my therapist, doctor, nail tech, and electrolysis lady and I can't seem to let it out. I try to but it just won't come out. I leave their office and as soon as I get in the car I can do it just fine. It really is frustrating.

Oh, I think the therapist would be a perfect place! You could even mention you are having confidence problems with it at the start of your session and maybe they'll ask you to try or encourage you in some other ways.

Kar

[Guest sarah f]

Oh, I think the therapist would be a perfect place! You could even mention you are having confidence problems with it at the start of your session and maybe they'll ask you to try or encourage you in some other ways.

Kar

Karen I did mention it to her this last time while we were talking but we were going over a letter I am writing to my wife and didn't have time to talk about this. Maybe next time she can try to help me with my voice.

[Guest KimberlyF]

Karen I did mention it to her this last time while we were talking but we were going over a letter I am writing to my wife and didn't have time to talk about this. Maybe next time she can try to help me with my voice.

OMG hugggs! Good luck with the letter. I know the stresses we've added to the mix getting married and having kids. Sometimes (most of the time lol) it's a bit overwhelming with all the things to work on and people to deal with. I'd put the wife above the voice right now. You know with a lot of hard work, the voice, unlike the wife, will for sure come around.

Keep us posted ok?

Kar

[Guest sarah f]

OMG hugggs! Good luck with the letter. I know the stresses we've added to the mix getting married and having kids. Sometimes (most of the time lol) it's a bit overwhelming with all the things to work on and people to deal with. I'd put the wife above the voice right now. You know with a lot of hard work, the voice, unlike the wife, will for sure come around.

Keep us posted ok?

Kar

Thank You Karen. It has been tough on both of us but hopefully we can work it out.

[Guest Evan_J]

Its not just you all Even though T makes guys physically have a deeper voice I think more guys than like to admit go through a phase of actually trying to strain to make their voices not sound deep in front of people fearing how they'll sound. I think it a period of adjustment to finding your confidence in the fact that "you actually are [insert sex]" and not just with yourself

[Guest Virginia_]

Trial by fire helped me get over my fear really fast. Presenting as female in public for the first time forced me to use a voice that correpsonded with the way I looked- or make an absolute fool out of myself. And I chose the not to look like an absolute fool.

[Guest sarah f]

Trial by fire helped me get over my fear really fast. Presenting as female in public for the first time forced me to use a voice that correpsonded with the way I looked- or make an absolute fool out of myself. And I chose the not to look like an absolute fool.

I guess throwing yourself in the fire would definately make you try harder and not freeze up. I don't pass enough to go out as myself yet.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I guess throwing yourself in the fire would definately make you try harder and not freeze up. I don't pass enough to go out as myself yet.

Yes.....

When you find yourself in a do-or-die situatuon....you just do your best and hope for the best...

But, seriously, if your inflections and presentation are good, your voice usually won't be a problem...

Donna Jean

[Guest Virginia_]

I say this not out of sarcasm, but because trial by fire is a powerful way to overcome fear. it has enabled me accomplish many things over the course of my life that I was not ready for, not good enough at, didn't have enough money for, and a million other reasons I gave for not doing something I knew I wanted to or needed to do because I was afraid. I often tell other people I am going to do something I am reluctant to do. Putting myself in a situation of having to keep my word is enough to make me see the task through. Do you think I was ready to present in public my first time? Do you think I was ready to wear a one-piece to the beach this past weekend? I am afraid of many things. But my fear of failure tops them all.

[Guest ShannonA23]

I say this not out of sarcasm, but because trial by fire is a powerful way to overcome fear. it has enabled me accomplish many things over the course of my life that I was not ready for, not good enough at, didn't have enough money for, and a million other reasons I gave for not doing something I knew I wanted to or needed to do because I was afraid. I often tell other people I am going to do something I am reluctant to do. Putting myself in a situation of having to keep my word is enough to make me see the task through. Do you think I was ready to present in public my first time? Do you think I was ready to wear a one-piece to the beach this past weekend? I am afraid of many things. But my fear of failure tops them all.

Well if that's not a bite in the butt to get started on it.