Kids Say The Darndest Things

[Guest sarah f]

Well today my oldest daughter came over to me and looked at my legs and said where is your hair? I told her that I removed it and then she started to rub my leg and asked why I did that. I told her that I wanted to. She then said they are prickly. Well I guess that means I should shave again but I didn't say that to her.

After she was done with questioning me about my legs she said, daddy your hair is getting long like mine. I said yes it is. She then asked why I was growing it out and I just said again that I wanted to.

All this time she was saying this to me and me explainging to her why I was doing it, it was in front of my wife. Most of you know that my wife does not want to discuss this with me and I was just waiting for a conversation to start. Actually I was hoping for one to start and she didn't even say one word to me. She just sat quietly and continued to do something on the computer.

What is it going to take for here to talk to me about it? Come on, this was a lay up for me and I didn't even start it. I guess a letter will have to be used soon.

[JJ]

Sarah

Since your daughter was present it probably didn't seem to her like a good time to go tere. There is bound to be some drama and may be more questions that a little girl wouldn't understand.

I think maybe you both sensed that w/out thinking about it.

My advise would be to pick a time when you are bot relaxed and the little ones can't overhear

It's difficult to have this hanging over your head so I hope you will be able to discuss it soon.

Love

JJ

[Guest Opal]

Hi Sarah,

Have you tried something like "Dear, I sense that there is something you want to talk to me about"

She will either say there isn't, or she will say there is. If she does say there is, it could easily be an entirely different subject.

Wish there were some simple answers to all of this, but as you painfully know, the answers are not in the least simple.

I would guess that the questions from your daughter will continue, and she may start making comparisons to other fathers.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest sarah f]

Opal I ask her what she is thinking all the time and she wont say anything even when the kids are asleep. I don't come out and say what do you think about me, I have been trying to leave that up to her and at her own pace. She just won't talk to me about it.

[Guest Opal]

Are there any subjects that she is still willing to talk to you about, or is it pretty much just silence about everything?

Huggs,

Opal

Can go to PM or to chat if you prefer.

[Guest sarah f]

Opal she will talk to me like nothing is going on at all. She just avoids the trans subject all together. Sometimes that is great but I just want to know where we stand.

[Guest KimberlyF]

I suppose flashing her and saying 'How do you like these babies?' is prob not the best ice breaker. How aware of what's going on with you is she? Does she know everything and just doesn't want to deal with it or really isn't in on it all?

Kar

[Guest sarah f]

I suppose flashing her and saying 'How do you like these babies?' is prob not the best ice breaker. How aware of what's going on with you is she? Does she know everything and just doesn't want to deal with it or really isn't in on it all?

Kar

Karen I don't hide the babies as you call them from her. She has seen me without a shirt alot since they have been growing and has never made a comment. The biggest comment I have received from her is that she told me she doesn't like my shaved legs.

I think she knows more than I think she does. She just won't talk to me about it. I see her looking at me sometimes and I ask her what she is thinking and she just says nothing.

[Guest Opal]

She could very well be monitoring the forums. Possibly she is bidding her time. She may very well be aware of how her silence is impacting you.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest KimberlyF]

Karen I don't hide the babies as you call them from her. She has seen me without a shirt alot since they have been growing and has never made a comment. The biggest comment I have received from her is that she told me she doesn't like my shaved legs.

I think she knows more than I think she does. She just won't talk to me about it. I see her looking at me sometimes and I ask her what she is thinking and she just says nothing.

Eeeek...thats gotta be rough. My wife will make a comment like 'Oh a red bra today?' out of nowhere and I dont exactly know where she's going with that, but she doesn't seem like she's avoiding the issue I guess.

[Guest sarah f]

She could very well be monitoring the forums. Possibly she is bidding her time. She may very well be aware of how her silence is impacting you.

Huggs,

Opal

Opal I have noticed in the past where she did do this because it would show up in the history. I always clear out the history when I am done with the computer so that is how I found out the first time. I haven't noticed this lately though but she has been clearing the history more than she used to. I am not hiding anything from her in her and I hope she does read this.

[Guest Opal]

Hi Sarah,

Well, I guess just try to keep the lines of communication open. Keep talking to her about the stuff she is willing to talk to you about, and your willingness to talk to her about anything additional she might want to discuss.

My heart goes out to you. Wish there were easy answers, but usually that is not the case.

Big Huggs,

Opal

[Guest Donna Jean]

Yeah......silence isn't always golden....

This a life changing event for the both of you...

I told my wife everything a couple of years back......everything.

I told her all of my plans and that my final destination is surgery...

She knows all my meds ...what and when I take them...all of my Dr. appointments, etc....

And, although she has been less than happy over the whole thing, she is in the loop with no surprises....

Donna Jean