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Just Some Things...


Guest HashBrown

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Guest HashBrown

The more that I open up about myself and my past I get scared.

There are only a few close people that I can actually trust with everything that I got. And that's not a lot of people. Most of them are from here (the whole site not just the Forums).

But then there are the people that I give my trust to, to just be turned down (no not in a romantic way :lol: just want to make that clear). I tell people what's going on and BOOM they stop talking to me... Or they talk to me less... It's why I am so afraid to open up.

I'm also afraid to open up here because I think that people think that I am just attention seeking... Which I'm not... Someone asked me... If my OD was real... Why would I lie about something like that...? Makes me wonder what else people wonder about... When it comes to me... Like who really believes all the stuff that I say...? I am always wondering what people think I am a fake... Just nod and pretend to listen but deep down think that I am faking all this... I'm not... But I still wonder... Always wondering...

I also can't get over my past... Can't stop thinking about it... Ever since I opened up about it it's there on my mind all the time... I don't know how to NOT think about it now...

Also trying to deal with my um gender stuff... No not the FTM stuff it's deeper than that and this is all I am going to say about it: I am trying to deal with the "girl" side of me... That's all that needs to be said although Evan knows what I am talking about :lol:

Feelings of wanting to cut are present and I don't know how to make them go away. Just trying to distract as much as possible but it's hard... Trying though trying as best as I can.

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Guest miss kindheart

Dear Lee,

<<< hug >>>

I am sorry that you are still having these problems :(

I want you to know that I do care, I am sorry if I ever made you feel that I don't believe in you, because I do.

You are beautiful, you just have to learn to let some things go.

You are caring way too much baggage in your life.

Things will get better, try and have faith in the future.

:wub: vanna

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Guest HashBrown

Dear Lee,

<<< hug >>>

I am sorry that you are still having these problems :(

I want you to know that I do care, I am sorry if I ever made you feel that I don't believe in you, because I do.

You are beautiful, you just have to learn to let some things go.

You are caring way too much baggage in your life.

Things will get better, try and have faith in the future.

:wub: vanna

It's hard to have faith in the future when I don't see a future for me.

And it's hard to let a lot of things go but I am trying to...

*hugs*

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  • Forum Moderator

Braveheart,

Sometimes people ave things come up in their lives they need to deal with.

And sometimes people just need a bit of a breath-not to do with you.

It doesn't mean they are turning you away. Though sometimes that will happn when there is a personality clash. Not everyone gets along. or gets along all the time

Don't give up on people so easily-okay if I don't hear from a friend for a day or 2 I'm all "What have I done?",but I know at heart that people just need to deal with their own issues at times.

Some people turn outward like you do-some turn inward and draw back awhile. Noting wrong with either one. Just the way we're made.

As for dwelling on the past-a habit that will make you miserable. Even when the past is good it robs you of the present and when it's bad-then it drags all that muck into the present and makes it a mess too.

It's easy and enormously hard to break that abit. You just refuse to go ter and distract-wit te cat with poetry-wit chat. and do ot over and over and over again till it works.

You keep on keeping on.

Love & Huggs

JJ

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Guest HashBrown

Braveheart,

Sometimes people ave things come up in their lives they need to deal with.

And sometimes people just need a bit of a breath-not to do with you.

It doesn't mean they are turning you away. Though sometimes that will happn when there is a personality clash. Not everyone gets along. or gets along all the time

Don't give up on people so easily-okay if I don't hear from a friend for a day or 2 I'm all "What have I done?",but I know at heart that people just need to deal with their own issues at times.

Some people turn outward like you do-some turn inward and draw back awhile. Noting wrong with either one. Just the way we're made.

As for dwelling on the past-a habit that will make you miserable. Even when the past is good it robs you of the present and when it's bad-then it drags all that muck into the present and makes it a mess too.

It's easy and enormously hard to break that abit. You just refuse to go ter and distract-wit te cat with poetry-wit chat. and do ot over and over and over again till it works.

You keep on keeping on.

Love & Huggs

JJ

I *know* that people need breaks for themselves sometimes. I get that. More than you know. It's not them that I am talking about but I guess I wasn't clear enough on that. But now I am being clear! lol

Yes I know that I will be miserable but it's not as easy as 1 2 3 to get rid of all the hurt from my past. May be for some but NOT for me.

Also, I noticed that you only spoke about those two things... There was more to it than just those things...

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Dearest Brother,

We are FAMILY. Some members of a family get along great, others never ever stand each other. It happens.

BUT PLEASE remember I CARE, I LOVE, I WILL BE THERE for you.

Cause Family does that too.

we love you, NO MATTER WHAT.

your sister

Ree

*soft tender (((((hugs))))))*

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Guest HashBrown

Dearest Brother,

We are FAMILY. Some members of a family get along great, others never ever stand each other. It happens.

BUT PLEASE remember I CARE, I LOVE, I WILL BE THERE for you.

Cause Family does that too.

we love you, NO MATTER WHAT.

your sister

Ree

*soft tender (((((hugs))))))*

Aw thank you. *hugs back*

I love you too!!!

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Guest Hildagard

Now whose upsetting my baby boy? I won't stand for it. Tell me who and I'll give them a stern speaking too.

As Ree said, we're family, and we look out for our own. I'm here for all the cuddles, support and sometimes if I know enough, advice, you need.

So don't feel like we think you're fake, if we did, well then we're just silly.

If we thought you were attention seeking we wouldn't be giving you the cuddles and hugs you need.

I know, easier said the done, to stop this thinking pattern. But I believe in you, you're Mommy's strong little baby boy.

-cuddles-

Love, Hilda.

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Guest HashBrown

Now whose upsetting my baby boy? I won't stand for it. Tell me who and I'll give them a stern speaking too.

As Ree said, we're family, and we look out for our own. I'm here for all the cuddles, support and sometimes if I know enough, advice, you need.

So don't feel like we think you're fake, if we did, well then we're just silly.

If we thought you were attention seeking we wouldn't be giving you the cuddles and hugs you need.

I know, easier said the done, to stop this thinking pattern. But I believe in you, you're Mommy's strong little baby boy.

-cuddles-

Love, Hilda.

lol No one's really upsetting me I guess... It's just the way that things are going...

I can't help but think that some people DO think I am fake and well... Yea you know...

Some people... May think that I am... But just do that to be nice...

I am trying though to think differently... But my low self esteem has got me...

*cuddles Mommy* :huh:

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