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JJ

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Sometimes I wonder if, within an infected body, there are a subpopulation of viruses who say to their fellows, "Y'know chaps, perhaps we ought to step back and rethink what we're doing. Perhaps we should stop our uncontrolled reproduction and spread throughout our world, or someday it will no longer be able to support us!"

Then I wonder if the majority of viruses hate and despise the minority, proclaiming "How dare they say such horrible things? There will always be enough body resources to go around. Besides, the great Virus in the Sky commands that we be fruitful and multiply! And baby viruses are just so darned cute! Everyone should have a few thousand!"

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Read something cool, dunno who said it.

"I read somewhere that minorities make up 80% of the population of New York. Don't you think after a certain point we ought to stop calling them a minority?"

"Leave it to white thinking, who else could go to Africa and say 'look at all the minorities here, I must be the only majority.'"

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  • Forum Moderator

Micha-Have I told you lately how much I like you? I do. You are unique in a wonderful way and someone I value in my life.

Sometimes I think as trans people one of our biggest burdens is how self aware we become when we do turn around and face ourselves at last. more demanding of ourselves because we can no longer wear the blinders most do. We have so much to deal with emotionally that it saps our energy sometimes.

But because of that same self awareness I think that we eventually come to a place of peace and wisdom that is also greater than most people ever know.

Love ya

Johnny

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Guest Micha

Thanx Johnny. Introspection comes with many risks, but I believe I will be better for it.

Now. . . GIC of CO shared a quote an' I wanna share it too.

‎"There is nothing to practice. To know yourself, be yourself. To be yourself, stop imagining yourself to be this or that. Just be. Let your true nature emerge. Don’t disturb your mind with seeking."

~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Guest shar59

Hi to everyone, not sure which forum to post on so i hope one of you can direct me to the correct one.

Im a mother of a transgender male to female and this is all very new to me so if i make mistakes please excuse me.

I was wondering if there was some parent forums to chat on and maybe help us, I love the person i gave birth to very very much and would like to help her as much as possible, but dont know how besides supporting her with what she desides to do, She has been diagnosed with gender dysphoria so what is supposed to happen next?

shar

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Guest Mia J

Hello Shar and welcome to Laura's. We are always happy to have parents here.

This post will probably get more response if you put it in the introductions forums but this is okay.

First let me thank you for coming here and supporting your child. A supportive parent makes all the difference in the world.

We do have a sub forum for the parents of transgendered children where you should be able to get some information and help.

One of the first steps is to have some sessions with a qualified gender therapist. I am not sure how it goes with the NHS in the UK but there are members who will be able to help you.

Mia

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Guest BeccaC

Shar welcome, I can not commend you enough for supporting your baby through this. Sorry but they will always be our babies, even when they are 50. It shows much love and compassion, which you will both need through this. I truly believe you came to the right place.

Hugs

Becca

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Guest shar59

A big thank you all for them comments means so much to me, and good luck to all off you in your quest to become the true you ((((((((((((( HUGS))))))))))))))) to you all xx

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Guest Janice Lynn

Shar, thanks so much for coming to Laura's and bless you for the good

heart you bring to us here. Your child is truly blessed.

Please know that if even half of us had mothers or fathers like you this

would be an indescribably happier place. That's a simple fact. Far too

many of us feel afraid, ashamed, or isolated because we have experienced

or fear the rejection of our parents. Sometimes we are dumbfounded when

we discover we were wrong, but too often we are right.

May God bless you. I need not ask God's blessings on your child because,

by your beautiful post to us here we know your child has been truly

blessed.

Love and peace to you in your journey,

Jan

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  • 1 month later...
  • Forum Moderator

I am so happy to read news today of a young woman (18 years old) from India named Laxmi Sargara, who successfully annulled her childhood wedding her parents arranged for her when she was only a toddler. This was apparently the first legally binding case in India that sets the stage for other young women and girls trapped in these arranged marriages between families to be set free. Times are changing, even ancient traditions are crumbling.

C Rae -

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Micha
Some mornings I can barely get up outta bed because my body is so weighed down with ugly meanings that my culture has dumped all over me.

Julia Serano.

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Hi Micha,

That IS weighty. As my signature says. "what others think of me is not my business" I suppose one could apply that to our whole culture

Love, Megan

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We, as transgender tend to think of our lives as somehow missing something, the childhood that we wanted, the ability to bear or sire children depending on the direction of the dysphoria.

I heard an inspirational speaker once explain that as we live our lives, each time we let someone else have the power over us (letting what others say cause you to act differently from what you had originally planned) they are taking away some of our crayons.

The analogy was that a full life is the 64 color box of crayons, complete with a built in sharpener and we look at our lives and see at least a half empty box.

Now is the time to reevaluate the way that we think of our lives - the different childhood from the one we wanted was not lost crayons, only different colors - maybe not your favorites but with 64 colors there has got to be Salmon Pink and Yellow-Ocre.

All of those days make up the less used but still necessary colors, they are not missing - now as we become our true selves and live the lives that we always knew we should have, we are adding the other crayons - we are taking back the Peacock Blue and Bright Red to make our box of colors once again complete.

We should look at each day as a new blank page just waiting for us to open up that box of 64 colors and picture a beautiful day.

Love ya,

Sally

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  • 2 months later...

Please forgive me my little melodrama. . .

Got a bit of dark irony for ya.

I makes a joke involving suicidal tenancies. I'm not joking about suicide, but it is involved. Mi madre gets all peed (she thinx the joke is about her). Like I ought to threaten suicide to get her to do something. Well it weren't about her (and it's so typical she'd take it that way), so now I gots to be all defensive and crap and try and get her over herself.

Here's the ironic part. After mullin all this over and dealing with this --Censored Word--, I feel like killing m'self.

Not gonna, but if I am to be completely honest (and tha's what I'm tryin to do. . . by the way pops, I hate Romney and I hate the GOP - love off), I have to admit that the idea is pretty appealing right now.

Not cuz mi mum got mad at me. No, that has happened enough as it is, if that were to kill me I'da been dead las' century. I's more about a couple o things I think. Mind you this is an emotional thing, not a rational one, so analysis may be lacking in logic. It's a feeling of everything I do is wrong. Some one some where, a person of importance to me, is gonna be all put out because of who I am and how I feel. Now I always thought I didn't give a crap, let em be hurt, their own damn fault for expecting me to be otherwise. But tha's not completely honest. It hurts.

It really --Censored-- hurts.

Specially when it's someone I love. I hate doin wrong by them, and it's worse when I try so damned hard to do right for them.

But it's this feeling of no winning, nothing I do will ever be "right." I can't win, I can't get it right, and I'll have to deal with this crap all my life.

Quibble over the definition of right or wrong all you like, not gonna change the fact that I gots to deal with this crap, it won't change and it won't get better, regardless of how right I think I am.

Just another tally under the --Censored Word-- score.

Feeling overwhelmed and out gunned. Like life is a losing battle, a hopeless struggle, a never ending pot of brewing, stewing, stinking --Censored Word--.

I can make some of these loves happy some times, but apparently I can't be happy m'self.

No surprise really, can't cry for myself, can't stand up for myself, can't even seem to think for myself.

Yeah, jaded, cynical, over dramatic --Censored Word--. Tha's what this is, and I'm guilty of it. So what? Everyone is.

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  • Admin

Micha, its a bit ironic, but I just posted something about just what you are feeling, and maybe this will help: http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=48985&hl=&fromsearch=1

What's important to remember is that you cannot control how others react to you, or your changes, or your goals. People will feel how they feel, and there is often little you can do about it. You cannot make someone accept you, or support you, or like you. You can help them understand you, and how you feel, and why you are doing what you are doing. You can give them resources, things to read, and help open their mind and heart. Those are the things you can do. But what effect any of it has, is beyond your control.

If you were disabled in some way, and people you know reacted badly to that, would you feel guilty? Probably not, I think. You would feel angry, and perhaps sad, but not guilty. Well, being androgynous or TG is like that, in that you are no more responsible for being that way than you would be for being disabled.

Once you find the path to loving yourself, Micha, you will be on the road to conquering your guilt. If you don't love yourself, unconditionally, it will be hard for others to love you. Find someone to talk with about how you feel, hon. Do it for yourself, and for those you love.

(((HUGS))))

Carolyn Marie

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  • 1 month later...

The secret to making stoplights all go green: Hold a tube of lipstick at the ready at all times. What's worse than talking on a phone while driving? Yep! Sixty miles an hour trying to see in a mirror in the dark. My lipstick came out fine. Not sure about that pileup behind me.

Gotta remember to lipstick before leaving the house!

Love, Megan

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From my book of useless knowledge.

We handle stress differently. Some of us by crying, some of us by joking, some of us by screaming, some of us by laughing.

It really doesn't matter how we deal with it. The end result is the same -> RELEIF. Sometimes spellt as r-o-l-a-i-d-s.

Huggs,

Joann

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    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
    • KayC
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    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
    • MaeBe
      Let’s stick to cite-able fact. Most of my posts have been directly in relation to LGBTQ+ rights as it pertains to P2025 and I have drawn direct links between people, their quotes, and their agenda. I have made reference to the cronyism that P2025 would entail as well, by gutting, not cutting, broad swathes of government and replacing it with “conservative warriors” (I can get you the direct quote, but rest assured it’s a quote). All this does is constantly force the cogs to be refitted, not their movement. To say that agencies have directly defied a President is a bit much, the EPA did what Trump told them to do at the direct harm to the environment, the department of agriculture did the same by enacting the administrations forced move to KC which decimated the USDA.      How about Betsy DeVoss for Education? Or Bannon for anything? What about the revolving Chief of Staff position that Trump couldn’t stay filled? Or the Postmaster General, who did much to make the USPS worse?   Let’s not mix politics with racism, sexism, or any other ism. Because Trump made mainly white, male, appointments—many of them not, arguably, people fit for service—or unwilling to commit to term. I can argue this because, again, he’s up for election and will do what he did before (and more of the same, his words).   Please delineate how the selected diversity appointments have negatively affected the US, other than being black, women, or queer? Representation matters and America benefits when its people are inspired and empowered.
    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, the practice of putting into office wholly unqualified people simply because of racial, sexual or national characteristics.  It is no accident that Karine is a Haitian immigrant, Black and lesbian.  Kamala Harris is a Black female. Pete Buttigieg is gay.  Often you find that Biden explicitly stated that this is why he hired them, not because of competence, but because they checked so many boxes on his little list.  It makes a mockery of people and is a disservice to the US. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
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