My Sexuality

[Guest Zolrek]

I've always known I liked both sexes but labels never properly fit me, of course, labels are slightly useless.

I've discovered how to put mine into words. For men, I want them sexually but romantically their mediocre. Most that I've known just don't give two #$@% and a stone about making their other half happy. I suppose my experience made me biased but there are still some old romantic male souls out there like myself.

Females, I want to be their hero; their knight in shining armor. I want to take care of them, court them, make them happy. However, I am not interested in getting involved with them beyond taking care of them. That's one reason why a female and me wont work out. They tend to get clingy to me and try to get involved with me; at that point I back down and avoid them. It just doesn't work out and I do not think a real relationship with a female will ever work out with me(plus all the nagging kills me).

Anyone else have something similar to my interests?

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Well, Z-Man......

I'm with you on the labels thing..absolutely useless!

These days I tend to just seem to let my heart make the decisions ...

Gender, hight, weight, type of car owned...dosen't influence me one way or the other...

I just go with the flow....

Donna Jean

[Flint]

I don't find labels useless actually. I find them useful. That said I don't think you should label yourself and stay with that one label, I think a person can have many different labels. And particular labels stand out at certain times. That is just me though. I feel a need for labels.

[Guest Penelope]

It's sometimes useful to hang flags on the mast.

That way, the rest of the fleet gets an idea of what's going on.

That doesn't mean that you can't change the signal from time to time.

It's always your choice, of course.

(Admiral) P.

[Guest Zolrek]

Yeah, I said slightly useless.

[Sally]

Well Sweetheart,

I feel rather ambiguous toward just about all sexuality, I am not really interested in men that much as partners having been involved in their conversations and hearing their attitudes toward woman for over 50 years and women as partners has not been really good for me either so I am sort of loving whoever I love and being a partner with no one.

So if you feel the desperate urge to be my hero, my knight in shining armor, take care of me and make me happy - Give Momma a call!

Seriously, sexuality is all to often the focus and there is so much more in life - friendships so often outlast other relationships, cherish them for the great prize that they truly are and maybe one day that perfect partner will find you, it is actually more likely to happen when you are not looking.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

a person can have many different labels

I believe this.

Even within the topic of dating, a person can be "many things" depending on which partner you ask.

So if you feel the desperate urge to be my hero, my knight in shining armor, take care of me and make me happy - Give Momma a call!

There are actually a LOT of biological mothers who feel this-at least in my ethnic group. (Which frightens me lol but whatever)

I dunno, there difinately IS a lot to be gained from love relationships that are not romantic. There also could be other types of romantic relationships you haven't considered.

[Guest Micha]

I've always known I liked both sexes but labels never properly fit me, of course, labels are slightly useless.

I've discovered how to put mine into words. For men, I want them sexually but romantically their mediocre. Most that I've known just don't give two #$@% and a stone about making their other half happy. I suppose my experience made me biased but there are still some old romantic male souls out there like myself.

Females, I want to be their hero; their knight in shining armor. I want to take care of them, court them, make them happy. However, I am not interested in getting involved with them beyond taking care of them. That's one reason why a female and me wont work out. They tend to get clingy to me and try to get involved with me; at that point I back down and avoid them. It just doesn't work out and I do not think a real relationship with a female will ever work out with me(plus all the nagging kills me).

Anyone else have something similar to my interests?

The part of about females confuses me a little. Not sure what part of it, but yeah, it seems a little contradictory. Totally get what you're saying about men though, and yeah, there are some sensitive ones out there, some guys who can put the needs and desires of their partner above their own. Seems a rarity, but I think it's becoming more the norm, slowly but surely. At least, it's like that more often than it was before, from what I've experienced. I think the kind of woman you're talking about is one that can handle herself when she needs to, but is happy to have you take care of her as you will? Not sure. . .

Sexuality complicates things even further. Fortunately I married a wonderful person who balances me out and together we're whole, so outside of my relationship with her, thinking of sexuality seems pointless. As it is though, I still think of it. More of a reflection than a hope, but it's interesting to look at. For women my attractions were strongest for the stronger, more independent women. And I think now I know what I was looking for. I wanted them to be strong so I could be vulnerable, so they could be my comfort. Often times I came off to them as clingy.

Up until this year I've never thought of men, but I think there have been times where I would have wanted to be loved by some of the men I knew. Times I've wanted to hold a friend or be held, in more than a friendly embrace. But seeing as I was the way I was, those feelings never got recognized, so I never gave myself the chance to understand them.

[JJ]

It is my belief that the only thing you find when you pursue love-or relationships-is trouble and hurt. When you are ready in yourself they will find you. Sneak up behind you and grab you when you least expect it.

As far as the roles you want to play-just find someone on the same page and enjoy. Having heard natal females girl talk for decades I can assure you there are many who want to be rescued-taken care of by a white knight-and nothing more. Just as there are many who want much more. The problem is being sure wherre they really are on it before you charge in on your white steed,

As far as men-the romantic ones get snapped up so fast they are a little hard to find but they're out there.

I really believe we get what we really want in our hearts.

It's finding out what that really is that is the challenge!

JJ

[Guest Pól]

I've never been very fussed about sexual orientation labels. I think it's because so much of my mental energy has been focused towards gender identity that I just haven't had the time or mental energy available to worry myself about this. I don't discount the idea that I could ever be attracted to another man, but it hasn't happened yet, so I go with 'straight' for now.

[Flint]

It is my belief that the only thing you find when you pursue love-or relationships-is trouble and hurt. When you are ready in yourself they will find you. Sneak up behind you and grab you when you least expect it.

As far as the roles you want to play-just find someone on the same page and enjoy. Having heard natal females girl talk for decades I can assure you there are many who want to be rescued-taken care of by a white knight-and nothing more. Just as there are many who want much more. The problem is being sure wherre they really are on it before you charge in on your white steed,

As far as men-the romantic ones get snapped up so fast they are a little hard to find but they're out there.

I really believe we get what we really want in our hearts.

It's finding out what that really is that is the challenge!

JJ

Eh. I'm a romantic fool. No one has snapped me up yet. Then again I don't particularly make myself available to people in that way not at the moment anyway.

I class myself as straight. And the thought that one day I could even be attracted to another man really causes me great discomfort. Now I respect peoples sexuality. And I'm all for pride when it comes to gay people. But when it comes to the possibility of me ever being gay? No pride what so ever. Just a sick feeling I'm afraid to say. Please no one take this the wrong way. I'm not homophobic towards gay people honestly I don't care! But for myself. I care. I care a great deal. Maybe it's somewhat to do with the fact that I've had people accuse me of being gay, which in turn made me question. I can't say exactly why it made me question. It wouldn't make me question it anymore though if someone accused me of being gay now I'd completely laugh cause now I feel I know for sure I like women.I think I knew for sure back then, but cause i had less confidence in myself I wasn't sure how to fully believe myself so I did question it a bit. I just scare myself when I think about the possibility of hormones changing that!

[Guest Micha]

Eh. I'm a romantic fool. No one has snapped me up yet. Then again I don't particularly make myself available to people in that way not at the moment anyway.

I class myself as straight. And the thought that one day I could even be attracted to another man really causes me great discomfort. Now I respect peoples sexuality. And I'm all for pride when it comes to gay people. But when it comes to the possibility of me ever being gay? No pride what so ever. Just a sick feeling I'm afraid to say. Please no one take this the wrong way. I'm not homophobic towards gay people honestly I don't care! But for myself. I care. I care a great deal. Maybe it's somewhat to do with the fact that I've had people accuse me of being gay, which in turn made me question. I can't say exactly why it made me question. It wouldn't make me question it anymore though if someone accused me of being gay now I'd completely laugh cause now I feel I know for sure I like women.I think I knew for sure back then, but cause i had less confidence in myself I wasn't sure how to fully believe myself so I did question it a bit. I just scare myself when I think about the possibility of hormones changing that!

You like who you like, it's no reflection of how you feel about other people's preferences. I'd like to try and think of there being only two sexualities: sexual, and not. Even heterosexual is too ambiguous, as not just any woman (or man) will do. So what's the use, eh?

BTW anyone else cringe when "straight" is used synonymously with heterosexuality? Like, if that's straight, what's that imply about everything else? Flawed? Broken? Bah! It's the norm I guess, but it does bother me, at an empathetic level.

[JJ]

Eh. I'm a romantic fool. No one has snapped me up yet. Then again I don't particularly make myself available to people in that way not at the moment anyway.

I class myself as straight. And the thought that one day I could even be attracted to another man really causes me great discomfort. Now I respect peoples sexuality. And I'm all for pride when it comes to gay people. But when it comes to the possibility of me ever being gay? No pride what so ever. Just a sick feeling I'm afraid to say. Please no one take this the wrong way. I'm not homophobic towards gay people honestly I don't care! But for myself. I care. I care a great deal. Maybe it's somewhat to do with the fact that I've had people accuse me of being gay, which in turn made me question. I can't say exactly why it made me question. It wouldn't make me question it anymore though if someone accused me of being gay now I'd completely laugh cause now I feel I know for sure I like women.I think I knew for sure back then, but cause i had less confidence in myself I wasn't sure how to fully believe myself so I did question it a bit. I just scare myself when I think about the possibility of hormones changing that!

. I hadn't heard of T changing orientation if one is straight and heard lots of speculation that changes if one is not are really due to repressed homophobia.

Well Matt you're probably right about why you haven't been snapped up. You have to be out there and you have to ready. Just not hunting.

This whole trans thing makes everything confusing for me. I love picturing myself as the man of the house w/ a wife. Generation thing maybe-but when I think of being physically intimate w/ a woman I am repelled. And no I'm not phobic either. It's just my personal body reaction. I actually wish it weren't. But I am attracted to men-slightly andro. men like David Bowie. Or some gay men if they aren't too femme. Oh well -I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for a relationship-allright I'm really sure-so I guess it isn't a major problem anyway

I hadn't heard of T changing orientation if one is straight and heard lots of speculation that changes if one is not, are really due to repressed homophobia. You're a cool guy Matt-it'll work out when you're really ready

JJ

[Guest Zolrek]

I can't make what I said about women much clearer but I can try. I want to be romantic with a women, but not sexual with them. I want to be sexual with men, but their boring/useless to be romantic with so I don't treat men special.

[Guest Evan_J]

I can't make what I said about women much clearer but I can try. I want to be romantic with a women, but not sexual with them. I want to be sexual with men, but their boring/useless to be romantic with so I don't treat men special.

I dunno about anyone else, but me personally I get you; just cuz I talk to a "all kinds" of people. This being your circumstance, have you thought of a poly dynamic, where you might have one partner to satisfy the sexual aspect and another the emotional? -There's all kinds of relationships.

[Guest Micha]

I can't make what I said about women much clearer but I can try. I want to be romantic with a women, but not sexual with them. I want to be sexual with men, but their boring/useless to be romantic with so I don't treat men special.

I think I get what you mean. I'm sure there's a lot more guys out there though with a feel for the romantic than how it seems. Not a majority, I can concede that, but still, there are a lot of people and they can't all be the same.

Love your bluntness, gave me a giggle.

[Guest Evan_J]

[adding from where I left off] Or what about a transitioned (or not transitioned if it strikes you) FTM who's sexual self plays out hyper agressively while outside of sex they "embrace" a more typified female way of being emotionally connected? A MtF, transitioned or not depending on your preference, who sexually matches what you're looking for and emotionally matches what you're looking for. There are all kinds of other variations you may not be considering.

Just because you, I or Matty, may be "all of one thing" in how we live/catagorize ourselves doesn't mean every one does.

[Guest Zolrek]

I dunno about anyone else, but me personally I get you; just cuz I talk to a "all kinds" of people. This being your circumstance, have you thought of a poly dynamic, where you might have one partner to satisfy the sexual aspect and another the emotional? -There's all kinds of relationships.

I've never thought of something like that but I have sorta done things like it.(I have a boyfriend for sexual stuff already). Currently, online, I've been taking care of two women; making them happy, doing special things for them, etc. When they make moves to get closer I just kept being nice but said nothing. My best friend said he thinks I'm a womanizer, haha. The thing is it's not sexual, as I've said...I just take care of them; so more then one women doesn't bother me. Maybe, just maybe, I can explain to one of them or a girl I might meet in real life what I want...I never thought of telling them exactly what I want.

I think I get what you mean. I'm sure there's a lot more guys out there though with a feel for the romantic than how it seems. Not a majority, I can concede that, but still, there are a lot of people and they can't all be the same.

Love your bluntness, gave me a giggle.

Yeah, there might be. However, I don't care about receiving the "female" side of things romantically, I want them too.

[Guest Zolrek]

[adding from where I left off] Or what about a transitioned (or not transitioned if it strikes you) FTM who's sexual self plays out hyper agressively while outside of sex they "embrace" a more typified female way of being emotionally connected? A MtF, transitioned or not depending on your preference, who sexually matches what you're looking for and emotionally matches what you're looking for. There are all kinds of other variations you may not be considering.

Just because you, I or Matty, may be "all of one thing" in how we live/catagorize ourselves doesn't mean every one does.

That's true; and a good idea. I'll think about it.

[Guest Evan_J]

Maybe, just maybe, I can explain to one of them or a girl I might meet in real life what I want...I never thought of telling them exactly what I want.

lord have mercy.....Dude, the surest way to never get what you want is never ask for it. You start asking and you will be surprised what women will give you. There are women will accept it AND prefer that option.

warning/guidline though: If you choose this option, it is one of the most honesty/say it upfront requirement configurations out there. Thats what keeps there from being problems. So you're gonna have to TALK at least one time.

[Guest Zolrek]

lord have mercy.....Dude, the surest way to never get what you want is never ask for it. You start asking and you will be surprised what women will give you. There are women will accept it AND prefer that option.

LOL Well, now I know...thanks, Evan.

[JJ]

I can't make what I said about women much clearer but I can try. I want to be romantic with a women, but not sexual with them. I want to be sexual with men, but their boring/useless to be romantic with so I don't treat men special.

I understood. But there are always exceptions -romantic men and women who would sooner rescue you or slaughter you for trying.

I know there are women who want romance without sex-lots of them-but they are conditioned to play the game. The hard part is finding out exactly where everyone really stands

[Guest My_Genesis]

I don't find labels useless actually. I find them useful. That said I don't think you should label yourself and stay with that one label, I think a person can have many different labels. And particular labels stand out at certain times. That is just me though. I feel a need for labels.

lol I'm like that too. I feel the need to label things. So yeah, having a few different labels is definitely possible.

I've never been very fussed about sexual orientation labels. I think it's because so much of my mental energy has been focused towards gender identity that I just haven't had the time or mental energy available to worry myself about this. I don't discount the idea that I could ever be attracted to another man, but it hasn't happened yet, so I go with 'straight' for now.

same here although I have thought a LOT about sexuality, only to arrive at the same conclusion (being that I just go with straight for now, and don't expect that to change but that's the label I've given myself lol.)

I can't make what I said about women much clearer but I can try. I want to be romantic with a women, but not sexual with them. I want to be sexual with men, but their boring/useless to be romantic with so I don't treat men special.

I'm not into men but I can understand this in the sense that I can separate romantic and physical attraction. So to answer your original question - I kinda do have similar feelings in the sense that I can be attracted to some women only sexually and some romantically as well (it never really happens that I only am romantically attracted to them ) so I can understand the dividing line there that you are making.

I would not get into a relationship with someone I am only into sexually. I'd have to be into them romantically as well. Sexual-only relationships.... well, those are called something else, not a relationship lol