Quiescence

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest All,

I must tell you that being transgendered is not the end of the world I have had my many years of pain, isolation, regret, and denial. For me, the struggle seemed to be surrounded by my inability to accept myself.

I encourage everyone to accept yourselves and know that you are OK. Don't get discouraged by "passing" issues. Don't get discouraged by judgement or acceptance issues. Don't get discouraged by legal issues. Once acceptance seeps within your soul, all other outside issues diminish.

Being depressed, suicidal, self-harming is not the natural way of humanity. Being transgendered is human. Being transgendered is natural. Never feel ashamed of who you are.

It has taken me a very long time to reach this point in my life. I do wish that I had had more courage and had made other choices in my life. I no longer dwell on the "might of been". I know who I am now Each day, is a day of opportunity and a step forward.

It is never to late to know yourself. You have the right to be happy in your life.

Just be yourselves

All my Love

Brenda

[Guest]

Hi Brenda,

My word for this is "equanimity". It comes from Buddhist teachings, and I had learned that blissful feeling through years of practice.

Only to lose it completely the day that I stopped denying myself. Instead, I had jumped into still waters and stirred them into foam! It made me suspicious that the equanimity I'd felt was only one of those lies I'd swallowed to make life palatable.

But, now, a year later, I can see that glimmer of bliss again. It is acceptance and peace. It is the quiet confidence that I am true to myself, even in a transitional state that is incomplete and still unfolding.

You're right - self acceptance, the ability to feel good within yourself, the joy of life without fear and guilt - these are keys. May you all find it!

Love, Kat

[Guest Penelope]

Dear Brenda,

I hear the sound of a nail being thoroughly and accurately thwacked with a hammer.

I suspect that self acceptance would be the most difficult thing for most of us; after finding out who or what we are.

All the best,

Penelope

[Guest BeckyTG]

Great Post, Brenda.

We'll all have occasions where something happens that might cause us to be slightly embarrassed or self-conscious about ourselves for "being different".

I always respond that I'm proud of myself.

I'm proud of my courage to accept myself and I love myself.

Living our lives with true pride is a wonderful feeling.

Thanks for keeping that thought out there in the light for all of us to see, accept and remember.

Hugs,

Becky

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

wonderful post,Brenda....

I'll be the first to tell you that when I first accepted myself I was meek and hiding in the shadows.

That has all changed now...

I've become proud, I do what I want and act how I feel...

I take pride in what I am. I am not a pervert or mentally ill...

I love myself now...I'm happy with myself....

It took some time for it to happen, but, over time I realized that I'm normal in this world!

All better now

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Thanks Brenda!

I really needed this now.

I have been battling another bout with depression and trying to find its source.

Last night Lizzy and I had a long talk about so many things including work and life in general - I discovered that my depression was not really from a trans issue as such - it is that whole money thing.

I was focusing so hard on the fact that I have missed a months worth of work and I am only in a comfortable home with food to eat through the generosity of one of my wonderful friends that I forgot about accepting myself and even how to accept the love that has been given to me unconditionally.

So when you are piling up all of your baggage that makes accepting yourself seem difficult don't forget financial just add it neatly into the pile with all of the other stuff and light that bonfire!

Bask in the warm glow from the flames of all of your self doubt and if you get the urge - roast some marshmallows.

I love you all so much and until I lived with one of my dearest friends I thought that my depression only hurt me - I could not have been more wrong.

I have made Lizzy feel terrible for one, she is right here for me and offers her love and friendship so freely and I write dark poems about being alone - it is my doubts about myself that make it difficult to accept love from others and they try so hard - I need to start that bonfire today and believe me tonight I will have some roasted marshmallows to share with Lizzy.

Self doubt sneaks in from many directions and when you least expect it - you must be strong and believe that you are a good person - forget being trans just be a good person and people will accept you however you present yourself.

Love ya,

Sally, a work in progress

[Guest sarah f]

Brenda got to say I love this post. Self acceptance is the hardest part for me right now. I just don't think I pass yet and still afraid to just be myself in public. Someday hopefully I can accept the way I look and not care what others think but until then I will just keep reading your post to build up the courage.

[Guest Opal]

Hi Brenda,

Thank you for sharing this with us. For me, I honestly felt that I had accepted myself, but then from time to time have a few lingering doubts. I have one friend that I came out to who recently told me that I would always be his friend, and he does not have any issue with my being Trans. That was so wonderful to hear!

What is hardest for me right now is getting the understanding and acceptance from a couple of my close relatives, and realizing that it may never happen. Guess I want my cake and eat it too.

Once again you have helped us with a very positive message.

Big Huggs,

Opal

[JJ]

Thank you Bernie. This has been a great topic with much good and positive feeling

And I totally agree-accepting that you are what you are-right now-no matter where you are on your journey is the key.It is the you inside -you don't have to love your face or your body. If you did most aging people would be long gone-But you do have to love what you see in your eyes. Looks change and can be gone overnight-character is forever

Sarah-You will look great-just grow your hair or get a wig and post a pic-you'll be amazed at the responses.

JJ

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Self acceptance - the true balm for all our troubles, trans or not.

I preach here: "You are what you are and that is perfectly fine."

I cannot remember when or why I started saying that. Half of what we post is written to ourselves, so that means I may be there myself - that self acceptance.

Elizabet Anne

[Carolyn Marie]

A year ago I came to accept myself for the woman I am and always have been. That was a wonderful moment for me,

but filled with dread and fear that no one else would accept me.

Over the past 8 months almost all of my immediate family, as well as colleagues at work,have indeed accepted me and

given me love and support.

That makes all the trials to come bearable, and I look forward to my future as never before. But none of this would

have been possible if I hadn't accepted myself first.

Thanks for the thread, Brenda. It is a lovely thought.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ricka]

Brenda I love this thread and I hope everyone on Laura's reads it and is

inspired. There is a joy beyond words and incredible peace within for those

of us who are transgendered in that eternal moment when we accept and embrace

ourselves as we were created and born to be. For me as a woman it is a

continual flowering, a sense of beauty and wonder experiencing my womanhood

that transcends the stresses and worries of daily life. I can only attribute

this to what I believe is the fact that I have become and have accepted the

woman that God created me to be.

Hugs Miss Ricka

[Guest Leigh]

this is a great and encouraging post, darling. thank you

peace&love