Words Of Wisdom

[Guest Cowboy]

My grandfather says some pretty wise ( and humorous things ) a lot of the time. I figured i would start a topic dedicated to the words of wisdom he blesses me with on a daily basis. after all, if he is sayin stuff worth hearin, why not share right?

"If you're gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough."

"If you're gonna be idiot ya gotta be able to be called one"

"I wish i had a million dollars" Me: "So do i." Him "you wish i had a million dollars too?"

Person :"I was thinkin..." him: "You was stinkin? No wonder i smelt somethin"

"Now thats funny! But looks arent everything!"

"When i die, i want them to bury me head first. So the whole world can kiss my butt!" (Note: he did not use butt when he said it, but to keep it appropriate, i replaced it for a more G rated word.)

Me:"I was thinkin.." Him:"You gotta stop that."

I will be sure to update this with more words of wisdom from dear ol Paw Paw.

He says this kinda stuff quite regularly.

[Guest Evan_J]

good ones

[Guest Donna Jean]

Me:"I was thinkin.." Him:"You gotta stop that."

Oh my Gawd....LOL

Donna Jean

[JJ]

You sure got a special grandpa Colton!

Thanks for sharing him.

JJ

[Guest Opal]

Hi Colton,

Is that the same grandpa that was giving you barbecue tips the other day? He is giving you good sage advice, although some of it may not be apparent for years yet to come.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Paw Paw is pretty cool

HUGS

Brenda

[Guest Cowboy]

Hi Colton,

Is that the same grandpa that was giving you barbecue tips the other day? He is giving you good sage advice, although some of it may not be apparent for years yet to come.

Huggs,

Opal

lol yep same guy. theres some more he says all the time i forgot to add

"Dang i stink. How long has it been since i last took a bath? 2 months now? *looks at me* next time ya get in the shower take one for me."

"I cant get rid of this dahgum headache. Come get rid of it for me"

me:"I think i broke somethin." Him:"Well whatd ya do that for? Thats not gonna do any good. Its just gonna cost me monies."

"If you're gonna be dumb, then well... youre just dumb."

"I can be pretty smart like that sometimes. Now, i didnt say all the time i said sometimes."

*looks at my lil cousin*: "Hand me the channel changer". her: "the remote?" him:"no the channel changer. give it to me." *she hands him tv remote.*he changes tv channel.* him:"See. It changed the channel. Channel Changer."

[Guest Cowboy]

this one is from this mornin:

"Well he's as full of **it as a thanksgivin turkey!"

another often phrase:

me:"i cant reach it" him:"you need to grow up."

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

LOL...

Colton.....he's a real prize...

I'll bet he's a ton of fun to be around!

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

FUNNY

My mom's grandfather would do some of that. I never wrote stuff down. He was also a master of the 'dry wit' practical joke:

Age 6 - I discoverd change sometimes slips from a pocket, and falls into the deep recesses of chairs and sofas - and I would ALWAYS go dirctly to check when I would visit - sure enough! Treasure!

I was told by my grandmother - years later, after he had died - my granfather 'salted' my 'coin mine' when he knew I was coming. He NEVER let on.

Lizzy

[Guest Redbeard]

Haha!! Golden.

There's a Facebook fan page called ***tmydadsays(without the bleeps) with stuff like this.

[Guest Cowboy]

me:*YAWNNN* Him:"Well good god. Ya yawned and your whole head disappeared!"

[Guest Cowboy]

lol this was our conversation tonight about my acid reflux problem.

Him: "No i done ate all the zantac. try a lil glass of milk and see if it helps."

Him (while i get a glass out of the cabinet): "Not to much though. Just enough to coat it, not enough to bloat it."

Me (while rethinking what he said): *LOL* "Hey thats pretty good. im gonna have to remember that"

Him (thinking about what he said): "Just enough to coat it, not enough to bloat it. AHA! Hey that is pretty good! I think i just came up with that"

Me: "Yeah that was pretty good. *LOL*think for a sec* yeah that ones worth a fist pound.

*FIST POUND*

Him: "yeah i didnt even realize what i said til i thought about it. it just came out like that. And i thought hmm I may have just come up with somethin."

Me: "*LOL* i like it. im gonna have to remember that. Just enough to coat it, *in unison*: Not enough to bloat it."

Yeah me and my Paw Paw got this certain fist pound we do when we agree, or think of somethin. we are THAT awesome.

lol. Priceless

[Guest Cowboy]

so its been a while since i posted more of Paw Paw's famous quotes.

normally when he'll ask me to figure out a math problem, or how to fix somethin, and i figure it out, or know whatever it is he asked. he'll say "your smarter than your average redneck. I gare-un-tee it."

[Guest Cowboy]

Our conversation comin home from meetin with my Auxiliary FSO.

me (in reference to a cemetery): "I see dead people!"

Paw Paw: "Ah ha! I see em too! I heard people were just dyin to get in there!"

"Thats why they had to build a fence. People were just dyin to get in there."

[Guest Donna Jean]

Our conversation comin home from meetin with my Auxiliary FSO.

me (in reference to a cemetery): "I see dead people!"

Paw Paw: "Ah ha! I see em too! I heard people were just dyin to get in there!"

"Thats why they had to build a fence. People were just dyin to get in there."

Listen to him, Colton...he's a very wise man....lol

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

Son you should listen to your Grandpa. He is a wise man.

[Guest sarah f]

Our conversation comin home from meetin with my Auxiliary FSO.

By the way how did your meeting go?

[Guest Donna Jean]

,.

I got your note on FB about the meeting, Colton, but I'll let you tell it....

Dee Jay

[Guest Sharah]

I am loving this thread. There is a really great pile of wisdom in here. Reading it I am reminded of my favorite quote from Mark Twain, "Wehn I was 18 years old my father was the dumbest person on earth. When I turned 21 I was amazed at how much that man had learned in 3 short years."

[Guest Cowboy]

By the way how did your meeting go?

It went well. We got my ID picture taken, and went over the spots in the application i didnt quite understand. he is supposed to send it all in some time today, and then itll be about 3 weeks before i get my ID number and can start buyin uniforms. but in the mean time i get to attend our Flotilla meetings and start trainin for the things i want to get certified in.

[JJ]

Colton , you are one of those rare people who can recognize and value wisdom in the older generations in their family while still young enough to benefit from it.

Your Grandpa is leaving you a marvelous legacy that will last all your life.

You are so lucky to have each other!!

JohnJ