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Pflag Meeting


Guest Elizabeth K

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Guest Elizabeth K

I know - it should be PFFLAG, but it was shortened.

I went to a PFLAG meeting last night here in New Orleans. I have been active in the New Orlean's LGBTQ - Trans-support, but this is a diffent group. I finally made a general meeting - and it was well attended even with the Saints-Pats game on TV (Patriots won - DANG).

SO - here is a report, I thought people here might want to know about PFLAG. For about five years, it has been actively supporting parents, family, and friends of transpeople. I wanted to make sure we are ACTIVELY included, and as a T-Girl friend of mine and my therapist is on the Board of Directors, i was invited to attend.

Part of a letter I just PM'd to Dee Jay:

....I posted on FaceBook, about the PFLAG thing last night but not the details.

It is really a support group to help people who have association with the GLBT - usually though being a parent. We help explain our condition so parents and friends can better understand. And best of all it is ALSO a perfect laison between trans and gays/lesbians. It is almost exclusively 'hands on.' And I really want to get active... The part I like is getting to understand the homosexual community better.

Three mothers of homosexual chidren, two gay men, one lesbian, and two T-gils (including me) attended... We discussed our personal histories, and then talked about how we can significantly change people's lives. EXACTLY where I want to be... After the meeting the president was asking if I was interested in representing PFLAG as the transperson - on the Alliance for Equality group. This is another gay rights association here in New Orleans...

The president is a mother of a gay son, and he was one of the gay men there last night. She has worked with PFLAG for 17 years and is also active nationally. The other gay man was one of those 'I woulda never guessed' types and really a kind soul. The two other mothers are associates at work with each other, and obviously friends. They were also obviously 'Cajun" heritage and it was a hoot to watch them interact. It was their first time at PFLAG. One has identical twin boys, one gay and one straight (that is a phenominon if you think about it!) the other has a lesbian daughter who makes money on the side performing as a 'drag king.' (another shocker!) The T-Girl ... is about 45, big (large boned) and passes... She has been full time for about 7 years and moved to xxxxxxx La, from New England, to be with a T-Girl she met on the internet, sound familar? And she had her friend - not the T-Girl - a lesbian college student who also happens to be African American - with her.

That was the group.

As usually - being trans - I got asked a lot of personal questions (this was the perfect time to educate those in the homosexual population - whoa!) And of course, they wanted to know my sexual orientation! ... the other T-Girl, rolled her eyes!

Dee Jay - THAT is the hardest battle we face, people think being trans is about sexual orientation.

I gave the standard GENDER GENDER GENDER speech, and as usual, it resulted in glazed over eyes. SO I remembered how I handled xxxxxx, my good gay friend: I just told my sexual orientation, which is what they were really interested in - dang.

LIZZY! BAD GIRL

I strung them along for a fun ride... I said 50-50 chance and I wouldn't know until I FULLY transitioned, etc etc etc... then I dropped a few bombs, I told them - no offense - but I HATE MEN and what they stand for (the room was essentially all women in a way - two guys that love men like a woman would, a lesbian who loves women. three natal women, and we two T-Girls!) So that worked.

THEN I told them I had been MARRIED three times to women - and I REALLY liked women!

HA - almost all said at the same time "You are a LESBIAN!" HA HA HA!

...

That is how I got accepted as part of PFLAG - I am a lesbian who also happens to be trans. This is really backwards but it works, GRIN

So there you are!

Elizabeth

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Guest RachaelAnn

Sounds pretty good to me, except the part of everyone thinking this is all about who we want to sleep with. When my wife told her family that I am trans, her mothers first question was "Does that mean he wants to have sex with men now"?. :angry::angry::angry:

I wish poeple would pull their heads out of their butts before they jump to conclusions.

Rachael

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Lol, the twins and being gay thing, growing up a friend of the family had twin daughters (fraternal) and one was gay. Then my friends in high school, they were twins (they say fraternal but they look identical) and one was gay. And here's an article about a pair of identical twins, and one is transgender: http://childrenshospitalblog.org/childrens-gives-transgender-tween-new-hope/

Anyways, I lol'd at how you didn't just simply answer their question about your sexuality... instead assuming they were ignorant about the matter... :rolleyes: Anyways, sounds like a nice group.

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I am glad that went so well for you, Lizzy! I am sure that they will benefit greatly from your wisdom and insight. And as time goes on, and they have a better understanding, you can explain that Trans-men are awesome! All the ones I have met are!

Huggs,

Opal

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Guest Donna Jean

.

Knock 'em dead, Lizzy!

LOL...it musta been an awesome time and I know that you've been wanting to get more active in all of this and now you've joined this...wonderful.

Yeah, many people think that all of us are doing what we do as a result or the reason for our sexual preference...but, of course, it's our gender that is the basis of all of this...

People go for the lowest common denominator....

Way to go, Elizabeth....

Give 'em heqq!

LOVE

Donna Jean

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Guest RachaelAnn

Lizzy I have to thank you so much. After seeing this post, I googled PFLAG, and found out that there is a chapter here in my home town. I have been feeling like an invalid because I haven't been able to find any kind of support groups in this part of Missouri. Everything was KC or St. Louis. I'm meeting with the contact tomorrow, to get a feel for the place. They hold meetings the first thursday of every month, and I'm so excited to go, I'm about ready to explode. Thank you again Lizzy. You have no idea what you're done for me.

Rachael

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Guest Elizabeth K

You should sing the song from Cole Porter's Kiss Me Kate.

Ms P.

Katherine sings: I HATE MEN

I hate men.

I can't abide 'em even now and then.

hee hee

Lizzy

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  • Forum Moderator

Katherine sings: I HATE MEN

I hate men.

I can't abide 'em even now and then.

hee hee

Lizzy

:o:(

JJ

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  • Forum Moderator

Aww JJ, I like you. :)

Thank you Natalie-I like you too

Lizzy-It sounds like a great meeting for you. I'm glad it was such a positive experience. Even if it did take saying you hatemen

Love

JJ

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Guest Elizabeth K

:o:(

JJ

That was KATHERINE singing! NOT ME!!!

And I tole you before, men are okay, I mean they can do the heavy lifting, carry the bags so you can shop longer, and they have valid credit cards!

I donno yet, but some say they are nice to have around under the covers on those lazy rainy, cold Saturday mornings in bed...

And I like men like you! You 'get it' about women.

Lizzy

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  • Forum Moderator

That was KATHERINE singing! NOT ME!!!

And I tole you before, men are okay, I mean they can do the heavy lifting, carry the bags so you can shop longer, and they have valid credit cards!

I donno yet, but some say they are nice to have around under the covers on those lazy rainy, cold Saturday mornings in bed...

And I like men like you! You 'get it' about women.

Lizzy

Don't forget who won in the end:lol:

As a woman I found them more trouble than they were worth but then I wasn't really a woman and may have felt differently if I had been.

I would have preferred to have someone pick up after me, and feed me and do my laundry. But all that is changing-Wouldn't you know I'd change just as all that is changing. I have lousy timing!

So what all will you be doing specifically for PFAG?

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Guest therisa

When I was had been outed by my mom, I offered her, information about PFLAG groups, in her part of Ontario. Honestly, don't know if she followed up on the literature that I shared with her. Her lost.

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Guest Elizabeth K

DEE JAY! Stop it!

I will be one of those in the support group. I suspect 95% of what we will handle will be people concerned about a child, spouse or friend that is coming out for the first time. We trans KNOW how that is. I also will be there if there are any gender dysphoria issues associated with someones self realization. And as we all know, we had many questions about our sexual identity and our sexual orientation on our way to our own self acceptance as transpeople. The bottom common denominator in the GLBTQ community equation seems to be 'self acceptance, and I have been working with that in Laura's since day two (day one was more of MY self acceptance struggles - grin).

BUT

I also have an agenda - one that is two part actually. One is to educate on 'gender dysphoria,' especially to the gay/lesbian community, and secondly, to keep us transpeople from being thrown under the bus in PAC negotiations with the state and local governments - yikes, so common here in this state!

And I guess indirectly - I want people to see transitioning people can really be successful, and contribute to the entire GLBTQ initiative, by using myself as an example. My therapis suggested I would be good at that. The 21 months I put in at Laura's really sharpened my communication skills and my understanding of the gender dysphoria world - AND - about the predjudice all GLBTQ minorities face!

Thats the serious answer.

The less serious answer? GREAT PARTIES!!!

hee hee

Elizabeth Anne

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