I Got Engaged!

[Guest Kaitlyn88]

My girlfriend proposed to me last week. I said yes of course but now I'm wondering how exactly that would work legally? So far I've only had my name legally changed but my birth certificate is still the same. I'm planning on getting SRS next year. We are both completely lesbian, which makes it frustrating to be pre op still but she understands.

Will we still be allowed to get married in any state? If we do will it stay valid? I would just like a gay marriage but right now many places won't even recognize it. Maybe we could switch to a gay marriage down the road when they get pretty much equal? If we were refused straight marriage would we even be able to get a gay one since we are planning to be married before I get SRS?

I just wish marriages could be marriages and we didn't have to worry about if it was straight or gay enough...if anyone has any information, advice, or insight it would really help.

Sorry I haven't been on here much, my computers power button fell off it moving and so I can't turn it on but otherwise it works fine lol. Plus I have had several episodes of homelessness and have lost $7,000 this year to my "friends" and ex back stabbing me.

I'm so happy now to be getting married to the most amazing girl ever, it makes all the past seem almost worth it. I'm pretty much full time now between my name change last month and I even went to a Green Day concert the other day and blended in. I was worried about being around thousands of people, but it wasn't an issue.

Kate

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Marriage? In the state I live in - as long as both people have a document recognized by law (birth certificate, drivers license or passport) and one is 'M' and the other is 'F' marked, a marriage can be performed. Also here, if you later "AMEND" your documents, you are still legally married. It's that few minutes presentation to the clerk of the documentation that sets you as legal forever, probably just a loophole. Check the laws in the state you are planning to be married - probably best to do this online.

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Like Lizzy says...check your state....

But, most everywhere ...if one is an F and one is a M ...it's good to go...presentation-surgery or not....

In my state my birth cert is not allowed to ever be changed (3 states only) and consequently mine will always say "Male"...even after my surgery and living FT....

Sux...right?

But I can marry any woman with an "F" on their paper!

Donna Jean

[Guest Lillet Coll]

Wow, congratulations!

It will depend on the state. Some have laws on the record and some don't. If your state lets you amend or alter your birth certificate, you won't be able to marry after that, unless that state recognizes same-sex marriages.

[Guest Kaitlyn88]

I would check but I can't find anything even mentioning it in any state. I've found people that got married after legally changing their sex and people that got married, then transitioned later in life. I haven't found anything about an MTF getting married to a lesbian still pre op but intending to get SRS ASAP. Even if I extended the search to transsexuals in general getting married I don't know where to find the laws at, I'm not sure if there even are any. I can't afford a lawyer either.

[Guest NatalieRene]

Wow so if I want to get married to a woman I would have to do it before srs because in the state of California, my birth state, they will change the gender marker and name on the birth certificate. Of course that would also mean that if I have srs and want to marry a guy I'm set. That is great news.

Thank goodness the current state I live in doesn't have a say.

[Carolyn Marie]

First of all, Kaitlyn:

CONGRATULATIONS!

Now to answer your question, here is the situation in California:

You don't need to be a California resident to be married here. That's good!

We don't permit same sex marriage. That's bad.

Unless the courts order a stay, by next Wednesday,California will permit same sex marriage. That's good!

If your documents currently list you as male, you can get married here. That's good!

If you get married, and later change your gender marker and name, your marriage will remain valid. That's Great!

If you are the same sex and get legally married in California next week, some states won't recognize it. That's bad.

So there you have it. Confused? Me too.

Carolyn Marie

[Drea]

Even if your state allows gay marriage (or civil union), the feds currently won't recognize it. There are a bunch of tax implications and funny things one has to do on ther taxed when I read the rules.

There should be no big deal getting regular marriage at this point as long as you haven't gotten gender on your birth certificate altered. A regular marriage, thus far will be recognized by the state and the feds even post SRS and gender marker changes.

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

congrats on getting married.

on your computer, if you open your case up you could move the header for the reset button onto the pins for soft power, and then your reset button will become your power button. cos you don't really need a reset button.

[Guest Cowboy]

Well, Im confused as ever bout how the marriage stuff works. so im not gonna add any insight there. lol.

thats just somethin i stray away from cuz im not in any situation for now that would require/ or me want- to get married.

But i did wanna stop by and say

C O N G R A T S ! ! !

[Guest chngnwnd]

Congratulations!

I am jealous - I don't even have a boy or girl friend...

Hugs

Bobbi

[Guest Nicodeme]

I would check but I can't find anything even mentioning it in any state. I've found people that got married after legally changing their sex and people that got married, then transitioned later in life. I haven't found anything about an MTF getting married to a lesbian still pre op but intending to get SRS ASAP. Even if I extended the search to transsexuals in general getting married I don't know where to find the laws at, I'm not sure if there even are any. I can't afford a lawyer either.

I'm trying to find similar information since I can change my sex marker with top surgery in my state and would love to be doing that soon, before I get state ID or a driver's license (because that would be another piece of conflicting paperwork to fix later, which has the potential to be dug up and likely to out me, and I'd rather only deal with the DMV as much as I absolutely have to--but don't we all? ;p--without having to go back and say "guys, I need to change my information.") but after getting married. (Because my paperwork currently says F and Ryan's says M so I figure we might as well do it while we still can.)

I think the general rule is that as long as you're married first, you're safe. Some states might be more stringent about it and you might get "caught" but even then to my knowledge most states let it slide. Depending on your priorities, you might have the option of getting surgery and not changing your legal sex. (But that's up to you.)

Congrats, by the way! I proposed to m'lady by putting a ring in a pokeball and saying, "I choose you!" 'cause I'm a dork. XD

[Guest Opal]

Congratulations Kate!!!

[Guest Maria (Hilda)]

Congrats, by the way! I proposed to m'lady by putting a ring in a pokeball and saying, "I choose you!" 'cause I'm a dork. XD

If someone proposed to me like that, I'd say yes.

That was epic win. I love you so much now

[Guest Tess]

Congratulations Kaitlyn! It's good to see you back. You're looking great.

[Sally]

Congratulations!

In Texas I know that they do not support same sex marriages but if you transition while married you have to get a divorce if you do not want to remain legally married, while it seems to be a contradiction most laws are proposed by lawyers and of course this is another source of income for divorce lawyers, just my opinion about the why.

Most states do nut nullify any marriage without some sort of hearing - it isn't like, "here is your corrected birth certificate and your finalized divorce papers as a bonus gift."

Check with your state but most do not address marital staus when granting the gender marker change.

Love ya,

Sally