Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I Got Engaged!


Guest Kaitlyn88

Recommended Posts

Guest Kaitlyn88

My girlfriend proposed to me last week. I said yes of course but now I'm wondering how exactly that would work legally? So far I've only had my name legally changed but my birth certificate is still the same. I'm planning on getting SRS next year. We are both completely lesbian, which makes it frustrating to be pre op still but she understands.

Will we still be allowed to get married in any state? If we do will it stay valid? I would just like a gay marriage but right now many places won't even recognize it. Maybe we could switch to a gay marriage down the road when they get pretty much equal? If we were refused straight marriage would we even be able to get a gay one since we are planning to be married before I get SRS?

I just wish marriages could be marriages and we didn't have to worry about if it was straight or gay enough...if anyone has any information, advice, or insight it would really help.

Sorry I haven't been on here much, my computers power button fell off it moving and so I can't turn it on but otherwise it works fine lol. Plus I have had several episodes of homelessness and have lost $7,000 this year to my "friends" and ex back stabbing me.

I'm so happy now to be getting married to the most amazing girl ever, it makes all the past seem almost worth it. I'm pretty much full time now between my name change last month and I even went to a Green Day concert the other day and blended in. I was worried about being around thousands of people, but it wasn't an issue.

Kate

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Marriage? In the state I live in - as long as both people have a document recognized by law (birth certificate, drivers license or passport) and one is 'M' and the other is 'F' marked, a marriage can be performed. Also here, if you later "AMEND" your documents, you are still legally married. It's that few minutes presentation to the clerk of the documentation that sets you as legal forever, probably just a loophole. Check the laws in the state you are planning to be married - probably best to do this online.

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

.

Like Lizzy says...check your state....

But, most everywhere ...if one is an F and one is a M ...it's good to go...presentation-surgery or not....

In my state my birth cert is not allowed to ever be changed (3 states only) and consequently mine will always say "Male"...even after my surgery and living FT....

Sux...right?

But I can marry any woman with an "F" on their paper!

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest Lillet Coll

Wow, congratulations!

It will depend on the state. Some have laws on the record and some don't. If your state lets you amend or alter your birth certificate, you won't be able to marry after that, unless that state recognizes same-sex marriages.

Link to comment
Guest Kaitlyn88

I would check but I can't find anything even mentioning it in any state. I've found people that got married after legally changing their sex and people that got married, then transitioned later in life. I haven't found anything about an MTF getting married to a lesbian still pre op but intending to get SRS ASAP. Even if I extended the search to transsexuals in general getting married I don't know where to find the laws at, I'm not sure if there even are any. I can't afford a lawyer either.

Link to comment
Guest NatalieRene

Wow so if I want to get married to a woman I would have to do it before srs because in the state of California, my birth state, they will change the gender marker and name on the birth certificate. Of course that would also mean that if I have srs and want to marry a guy I'm set. :D That is great news.

Thank goodness the current state I live in doesn't have a say.

Link to comment
  • Admin

First of all, Kaitlyn:

CONGRATULATIONS!

Now to answer your question, here is the situation in California:

You don't need to be a California resident to be married here. That's good!

We don't permit same sex marriage. That's bad.

Unless the courts order a stay, by next Wednesday,California will permit same sex marriage. That's good!

If your documents currently list you as male, you can get married here. That's good!

If you get married, and later change your gender marker and name, your marriage will remain valid. That's Great!

If you are the same sex and get legally married in California next week, some states won't recognize it. That's bad.

So there you have it. :D Confused? Me too. :blink:

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Even if your state allows gay marriage (or civil union), the feds currently won't recognize it. There are a bunch of tax implications and funny things one has to do on ther taxed when I read the rules.

There should be no big deal getting regular marriage at this point as long as you haven't gotten gender on your birth certificate altered. A regular marriage, thus far will be recognized by the state and the feds even post SRS and gender marker changes.

Link to comment
Guest i is Sam :-)

congrats on getting married.

on your computer, if you open your case up you could move the header for the reset button onto the pins for soft power, and then your reset button will become your power button. cos you don't really need a reset button.

Link to comment
Guest Cowboy

Well, Im confused as ever bout how the marriage stuff works. so im not gonna add any insight there. lol.

thats just somethin i stray away from cuz im not in any situation for now that would require/ or me want- to get married.

But i did wanna stop by and say

C O N G R A T S ! ! !

smile.gif

Link to comment
Guest Nicodeme

I would check but I can't find anything even mentioning it in any state. I've found people that got married after legally changing their sex and people that got married, then transitioned later in life. I haven't found anything about an MTF getting married to a lesbian still pre op but intending to get SRS ASAP. Even if I extended the search to transsexuals in general getting married I don't know where to find the laws at, I'm not sure if there even are any. I can't afford a lawyer either.

I'm trying to find similar information since I can change my sex marker with top surgery in my state and would love to be doing that soon, before I get state ID or a driver's license (because that would be another piece of conflicting paperwork to fix later, which has the potential to be dug up and likely to out me, and I'd rather only deal with the DMV as much as I absolutely have to--but don't we all? ;p--without having to go back and say "guys, I need to change my information.") but after getting married. (Because my paperwork currently says F and Ryan's says M so I figure we might as well do it while we still can.)

I think the general rule is that as long as you're married first, you're safe. Some states might be more stringent about it and you might get "caught" but even then to my knowledge most states let it slide. Depending on your priorities, you might have the option of getting surgery and not changing your legal sex. (But that's up to you.)

Congrats, by the way! I proposed to m'lady by putting a ring in a pokeball and saying, "I choose you!" 'cause I'm a dork. XD

Link to comment
Guest Maria (Hilda)

Congrats, by the way! I proposed to m'lady by putting a ring in a pokeball and saying, "I choose you!" 'cause I'm a dork. XD

If someone proposed to me like that, I'd say yes.

That was epic win. I love you so much now :P

Link to comment

Congratulations!

In Texas I know that they do not support same sex marriages but if you transition while married you have to get a divorce if you do not want to remain legally married, while it seems to be a contradiction most laws are proposed by lawyers and of course this is another source of income for divorce lawyers, just my opinion about the why.

Most states do nut nullify any marriage without some sort of hearing - it isn't like, "here is your corrected birth certificate and your finalized divorce papers as a bonus gift."

Check with your state but most do not address marital staus when granting the gender marker change.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 173 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Betty K
    • KathyLauren
    • Heather Shay
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,082
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Amberoni
    Newest Member
    Amberoni
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alex2022
      Alex2022
      (20 years old)
    2. cvincent
      cvincent
      (69 years old)
    3. Demorriana
      Demorriana
      (25 years old)
    4. forbiddenforest
      forbiddenforest
      (26 years old)
    5. LoganXB
      LoganXB
  • Posts

    • Davie
      Cool. We had none in Boston, but my sister-in-law took this on an island near Seattle,
    • Heather Shay
    • Willow
      Good morning    Work day today, no pool time, and no dress.  Just a uniform top and slacks.   Thank you for asking about my wife, @Ashley0616 , she is improving all the time and getting anxious to be rid of the med vac.  She keeps telling people a couple mor weeks be even with the speed at which she is recovering, I think that is more wishful than reality.   i received both compliments about my dress as well as my ability to speak before the congregation.  My little frog was right there with me but then he is a permanent resident in my voice.  Some days worse than others and I never know until I start speaking.  Maybe I need a frog exorcism.  Oh our church doesn’t do that.  Shucks.   well the humidity is coming back today along with possible rain and warmer weather.   I guess a lot of you are getting hit with smoke from Canada again this year. I recall last year you could see and smell it here.  It a shame to loose so many trees when we need them for climate control.  I was surprised to learn the South Carolina was the largest producer of wood in the states. We have a great deal of wet and swamp land that the plant and harvest and plant again.  While some makes it to the mills to become construction material, mose goes to one of several paper mills.  Those trees are clear cut and trucked to the mills to be cleaned mulched and processed along with recycled paper.the closest mill to here makes brown board which become packaging material like corrugated cardboard.   i guess we have rather ideal conditions for southern pine tree growing.  That along with cotton, rice indigo, tobacco and cash food crops fruits and vegitables and pecans, can’t forget the nuts.  You can take that more than one way and be right.   enjoy you day whether at work or at play.   Willow
    • Heather Shay
      Have you set any summer plans yet?
    • MirandaB
      I wasn't really aware of an emotional roller coaster possiblity when I started.    A few days in I realized i had been living with some tension that I was able to ignore until it went away. One morning it was just 'why I do I feel better than usual'?   So I googled around and found that it was possible to have such a result, I was thinking it would just take time for physical effects to work on my emotions.   Some talk about finally being able to cry, I have always been an excellent crier, so on HRT I cry REALLY hard.   But laughing was never really that easy for me, and now I laugh out loud way more often. Love that part of the roller coaster. 
    • Heather Shay
      Met dear friend felt in heaven.
    • Heather Shay
      Satisfaction Satisfaction. The feeling when something meets or exceeds your expectation. You feel satisfaction when you expected to get something, and then got it.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Lydia_R
      Well, for me, on day one is was like, wow, I feel more relaxed.  Then every day after that was more of the same.  YMMV.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Groupings are easy for news material.  And in many nations, we live in a society that doesn't read in-depth.  There are always a few members of any group that can give it a bad name.  Pedophile priests undermined trust in the Catholic Church.  NAMBLA taints the reputation of LGBTQ+ folks....although since this thread is about Australia, I'm not sure it is very relevant.    Is it ignorance?  Perhaps.  But I think what is often labeled as ignorance is really just a different interpretation of the same facts, and different weight placed on portions of the evidence.  We also live in a time when satire and criticism aren't particularly acceptable or understood by all.   https://nypost.com/2023/06/24/drag-marchers-spark-outrage-with-chant-at-nyc-pride-event-were-here-were-queer-and-were-coming-for-your-children/   ^^^ This was meant sort of tongue-in-cheek, but wasn't helpful.    Like it or not, to many people this is "confirmation" of beliefs, not humor.  And in an era where language is changing and people often get confrontational and angry about minor aspects of language, it seems absurd to believe that there wouldn't be some sort of backlash over trying to label pedophiles as "Minor Attracted Persons."    While I don't agree with the idea that "LGBTQ = pedophile" I can understand how folks might think that was the case.   
    • Lydia_R
      Hello @FelixThePickleMan!  I second this breaking the cycle idea.  And the idea of getting some help to do it.  I was pushed into a treatment program in high school for marijuana addiction and because I went into it with an open mind, I was able to break the cycle by latching onto some of the literature.  It didn't keep me sober for the rest of my life, but helped a ton and was the only time I went through treatment.   I found marijuana to be fun and productive when practicing music.  At least for a while.  I can't imagine my life without the influence of it, but it would have been better to give it up a little sooner.  Drinking in the military was terrible for me, but it was good to be off of the marijuana during that time.  I didn't start drinking until I was about a year into the military.  I was trying really hard to avoid that, but there are a lot of people drinking in the military.  Be careful and love yourself!  Enjoy the journey too.   Smoking is bad for the lungs and will constrict your arteries as you get older.  It's best to put some limits on these things!  It's hard work, but worth the effort!  I found myself avoiding recovery meetings and doing recovery on my own for decades only to find myself going to meetings to enjoy being with others when I was older.  LOL!  Silly humans....   Hugs, Lydia
    • JessicaMW
      Starting HRT this week (the estradiol patches were out of stock at my pharmacy last week). It's obviously a big first step in my transition and one that has been long delayed by my initially unaccepting wife (who now has dropped her opposition). My biggest initial apprehension is the much talked about emotional roller coaster in the next few months. Something that my endocrinologist also mentioned as a possibility (probability??). How troublesome will it likely be? Will this be me soon:  
    • VickySGV
      I am not going to laugh at this one although I want to.  We have had some school districts here in California try the same shenanigan against our state laws. (Same result as in this case, State law supervenes local law.    I have an idea though, put skates on the county honcho and make him race against all the women in the organization doing the suing there.  I think most of the Cis women would beat the liver out of him, now what is fair?   
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...