We Have The Ability To Choose

[Guest Amanda joan]

Hi there,

I can get myself into trouble with my big mouth sometimes. Last week at a support group meeting in Baltimore I made a comment that upset a few people, well actually two comments.

First I said that we should all agree not to re-elect anyone for the next 8 years. Especially the Politicians that end up in Washington DC. That was not the one that caused the most upset.

Then I said as transgendered Woman we do not have to conform to all of the negative aspects of being a woman. Someone retorted "What are the negative aspects of being a Woman?" As if there were not that she could think of. I gave a few examples like, have to look pretty all the time and have your hair fixed nice everytime you walk out of the house. Then I talked about all the presure woman are under to look younger. There are so many things that I don't want my daughter to get all tied up in knotes trying to conform herself to.

I really think this is important to talk about. Especially since we have all varieties of transpeople here at Laura's Playground International. Why should we feel obligated to accept someone elses or societies strick parameters of what it means to be a human Man or Woman. I feel that I will never have the opertunity to experiance either one of those in their current form. Why should I then try to conform to that standard of what a woman should look like or act like. Why can't I pick the Human qualities that I wish to exemplify and create my own personal gender, one that fits me perfectly. The way I look at it is like this: If people are going to treat me differently because I am Trans and I will never be able to e fully female no matter how much drugs I take or how many surgeries I have. I can assume a similar form of a Human Woman but, I will never experience Menapause. If I get implants my breasts will not age the same way as woman my age breast will change as they age. I am sure that many woman GGs have had breast implants but, that was to make what they had bigger.

This is a new creation of mine and it is still forming. I would love your imput. I just want to give the gift of freedom to everyone here. I want to lift the heavy bourdens of lifing slelth, passing or blending in. Those are not poor choices for everyone. Many Transpeople have found happy lives this way. I just don't see a way to sow the world how wonderful we are if they can not see who we are once we transition unless we come out and tell them. So what I am trying to express is that I think there is another way to go. I think there are thousands of other ways to go. So why not go there with your personhood. We should have a wide open plain to search for our place in this world of Gender. We should be able to step out of the box we were stuck in that mad us crazy and stay out off the other box. I think the Male Gender box is narrower than the Female gender box but, either way I like being out of the box and I intend to stay out here and build a Gender that fits me perfectly and does not deny who I am or who I use to be. We are all very Brave souls. Just being able to voice where you are is a high step. Now the next step should not be to jump in the next fox hole for 20 years and see how it feels. I start full time at work in 15 days. I plan on taking full control over how I choose to portray the real me. I don't plan to pretend to be something I am not. I am not a 44 year old woman with two children. I am the Father of two children and I am a Transgendered Woman. That don't have a Bathroom that fits me perfectly so I guess I can except that an allow myself to use the woman's bathroom. I would prefer that we had the special honor of having our own bathroom but, the World is terriably old fashioned.

Please tell me were you come in on this idea of mine.

Thank you

Peace & Love Amanda

[Carolyn Marie]

Whew!

Looking at the title, I was thinking, "what is Amanda trying to do, start a riot?"

What you say makes perfect sense to me, Amanda. Just like many GG women are rebelling against the push to be ever skinnier, ever more fashionable, bigger breasted, bigger-eyed, etc., many of us feel we need to conform to those expectations in order to blend in.

We don't have to blend in, at least not more than is necessary to pass reasonably well. I have to face the fact that I'm going to be a somewhat overweight, middle aged woman who can't (at least for now) grow her hair out. I'm never going to be beautiful, but that doesn't mean I can't be satisfied.

Women (and men) come in all shapes, sizes, sexual preferences, levels of intelligence, educational achievement, professional achievement, family status, and every other category. Transwomen (and transmen) shouldn't be any different.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Amanda joan]

Sorry Caroline I didn't mean to scare you.

Yes that is definatly what I was getting at. The glamor box, it's an industry built on the fear that you're not good enough they way you are. We have enough to worry about without that piled on top. So while I like feeling that I look pretty or fashionable it is not part of my gender identy. It should not ever be that way for us.

And Yes! We can be just as diverse a community as any other group of people.

I love this

Amanda

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

I feel that we need to realize some truths about ourselves in all of this..

It's no secret that I lived 57 years of my life as a male bodied person...

And, I still carry the remnants of that journey, both physically and mentally.

And as far as being female...I'll do the best that I can to make myself comfortable in my own skin..But, I won't go as far as having a rib removed...

We have to know our limitations...

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Amanda

I know what you are talking about. I raised my kids to be themselves and not be influenced by "social" pressures. They are themselves. This applies to us too. Indeed, there is a tendency to try to emulate those who are deemed the epitome of gender representation, but that is not realistic. Simply being and representing who you are is turely the most satisfying.

Love

Brenda

Oh, and removing a rib.... ouch!!!

[Guest Amanda joan]

Donna,

Ribs are there to protect your organs, that's more important than looking better in a dress. You are wonderful inbside and everyone who knows you can see that.

Brenda, you have it right. We need to allow ourselves and others to be happy where ever it is that life takes us. Some of us will be fortunate enough to have several surgeries to help us feel more like the people inside. Others may not have any surgeries and still others will elect to do one surgery or another as fits their own personal desires and finances. Surgeries do not define us nor should they be used as way to draw lines of distinction between us. The use of wigs or binding oneself should not be used as a reason to deminish someones stature in life. We need to be honest with each other and most of all accepting of each other. I can't think of anything more discusting them prejudice. We should not be disparaging of other transgendered people. We need to find a way to be open to people who do not choose to fit in and conform to social constricts. We need to break down the divisions that people build up to protect their age old projudices. I way to make a new way, an open and free way to experience being the other gender. We have a special ability to see things from both sides of the gender issue. So we also have the ability to choose the best of both to create something new, something better, something enjoyable to be, something easy to be and to fit into.

I need to sleep on this one. Goodnight.

Peace & Love Amanda