An Update On My Life

[Guest SouthernBelle]

Hello dear friends,

These past several weeks since I've been absent here on Laura's have been crzy. Of course, life for TSes is crzy period.

I've been seeing my gender therapist and attending a local support group, but most of the time, I've been trying very hard not to obsess over this whole trans thing. It's kind of hard to do, especially when you dive in head first...

A MESSAGE TO ALL THE NEWCOMERS AND THOSE THAT WHICH ARE NEW TO TRANSITION:

Take it slow. Take it very slow. I jumped right into it and found myself questioning my very existence. It may seem like a great idea, but then your surroundings get to you. Me? My family was freaking out. And it drove me crzy. When depression hits us, we start to question whether or not we're trans and we find ourselves in a bind. Some of us detransition, placing themselves back in the hell that was their prior life.

I thought I was in a good place before. I was speding every waking minute trying to pass and fit in as a girl. I was devoting all of my time to the community and I still desire to do so, but when transition is going full speed, you need some time for yourself. You need some time to forget about what's going on around you. You need friends too. I'm not saying that the wonderful ppl on here aren't great friends that can help you, but I was ignoring coming out to the bulk of my friends.

Anyway, now almost everyone I know knows about me. I made a new facebook profile in male mode and started adding old friends and have been coming out to them one by one. I find that, for me, it seems the longer I've known someone, the more likely it is for them to stand by me. Anyway, things are starting to look up for me <3 I have been reconnecting with old friends and so many of them are supportive of me. I've been spending time with ppl I've got history with and it has made me feel alive. I am happy to not feel like I'm beginning a whole new life. That's a problem. I thought that I was starting a new life and becoming a similar, but different person and I'm not. If I were, I'd be no happier than I was at the start. OK, perhaps I'd be minimally happier, but it wouldn't be quite so fulfilling. And the pain of leading a false life would still remain.

I've learned some things about myself. I'm bisexual, but don't am done dating women. I can't imagine myself ever being happy dating or marrying a girl. I am feminine, but not as feminine as I thought. There is an amount of maleness that will forever be a part of my personality. I can't fight it. I need to be me.

I am starting hormones very soon. I actually had an appointment last week, but I missed it. I'm also trying to change therapists, cuz mine is great, but I think I could do better. She just doesn't have enough to say!

I am still coming back to Laura's, but now is not the time. I still need to find myself. I still want to be a moderator on here, but I need to help myself before I can devote myself to helping others.

I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

Aimee (changed my name)

P.S. Dear you know who you are: <3

[Guest]

Hello Aimee,

It's good to see you again - been wondering how you are.

Sometimes life can move at a dizzying pace, and it sounds like that's been happening for you. It usually has it's good side and it's bad. Hopefully you can slow down a bit and pick up a few loose ends before moving on. And, here's Laura's ready and waiting to help out!

Take it easy - hope to hear more from you soon!

Love, Kat

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Aimee

Glad you are back! PM again or go meet us at the other site.

Lizzy

[Guest ReginaRenea]

Hello dear friends,

These past several weeks since I've been absent here on Laura's have been crzy. Of course, life for TSes is crzy period.

I've been seeing my gender therapist and attending a local support group, but most of the time, I've been trying very hard not to obsess over this whole trans thing. It's kind of hard to do, especially when you dive in head first...

A MESSAGE TO ALL THE NEWCOMERS AND THOSE THAT WHICH ARE NEW TO TRANSITION:

Take it slow. Take it very slow. I jumped right into it and found myself questioning my very existence. It may seem like a great idea, but then your surroundings get to you. Me? My family was freaking out. And it drove me crzy. When depression hits us, we start to question whether or not we're trans and we find ourselves in a bind. Some of us detransition, placing themselves back in the hell that was their prior life.

I thought I was in a good place before. I was speding every waking minute trying to pass and fit in as a girl. I was devoting all of my time to the community and I still desire to do so, but when transition is going full speed, you need some time for yourself. You need some time to forget about what's going on around you. You need friends too. I'm not saying that the wonderful ppl on here aren't great friends that can help you, but I was ignoring coming out to the bulk of my friends.

Anyway, now almost everyone I know knows about me. I made a new facebook profile in male mode and started adding old friends and have been coming out to them one by one. I find that, for me, it seems the longer I've known someone, the more likely it is for them to stand by me. Anyway, things are starting to look up for me <3 I have been reconnecting with old friends and so many of them are supportive of me. I've been spending time with ppl I've got history with and it has made me feel alive. I am happy to not feel like I'm beginning a whole new life. That's a problem. I thought that I was starting a new life and becoming a similar, but different person and I'm not. If I were, I'd be no happier than I was at the start. OK, perhaps I'd be minimally happier, but it wouldn't be quite so fulfilling. And the pain of leading a false life would still remain.

I've learned some things about myself. I'm bisexual, but don't am done dating women. I can't imagine myself ever being happy dating or marrying a girl. I am feminine, but not as feminine as I thought. There is an amount of maleness that will forever be a part of my personality. I can't fight it. I need to be me.

I am starting hormones very soon. I actually had an appointment last week, but I missed it. I'm also trying to change therapists, cuz mine is great, but I think I could do better. She just doesn't have enough to say!

I am still coming back to Laura's, but now is not the time. I still need to find myself. I still want to be a moderator on here, but I need to help myself before I can devote myself to helping others.

I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

Aimee (changed my name)

P.S. Dear you know who you are: <3

Hi SouthernBelle; I was wondering what happened to you. It's been so long since I heard from you. I'm very glad you are doing what you have to. Every one needs to go at their own pace and I'm glad you found yours. Are you still doing skype? Everybody has been worried about you. I really missed you alot. In a few weeks you won't know me- I'm getting facial reconstruction done. It started out as getting my nose fixed but we discovered some major issues and he's going to fix all of it. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you. BIG HUGS Regina Renea P.S. I love your new name, Aimee!

[Guest Maria (Hilda)]

Aimeeeeeeeeee!

I've missed you so, and will miss you til your return!

I understand what you were getting at, and its an important message, one that often isn't said!

Take some time off from being trans, to be you. Weird, I know, since we are trans But makes sense, to me atleast.

I await your return with bated breath and heavy heart!

Love, Maria.

P.S I changed my name too

[Guest miss kindheart]

I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

I love you too Belle

<<<<<<<<< hug >>>>>>>>>>

vanna

[Guest sarah f]

Aimee I was just thinking about you the other day wondering how you were doing. I miss you on the site and hope you can come back to us full time very soon. First thing is first and that is get yourself ready to come back. We will be here when the time is right with our arms wide open.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

I've missed you, Honey.....

Yeah...taking off like a rocket is one of the things that happens to us that can have a bad outcome...

So, take your time and get everything in order...I know that you can!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest Opal]

Hi Aimee,

Sure nice to hear from you again! Yes, stepping back and taking time to reflect is important. Please do come back when you are ready to return!

Huggs,

Opal

[JJ]

Hi Aimee,

Thank you for letting us know what has been happening in your life and what you have been doing.

It sounds like things are going well and you are making steady progress I'm happy for you .

I understand your need to take things in your own way at your own pace. But lok forward to hearing more from you as time goes by.

Hug

JohnJ

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

Hello dear friends,

These past several weeks since I've been absent here on Laura's have been crzy. Of course, life for TSes is crzy period.

I've been seeing my gender therapist and attending a local support group, but most of the time, I've been trying very hard not to obsess over this whole trans thing. It's kind of hard to do, especially when you dive in head first...

A MESSAGE TO ALL THE NEWCOMERS AND THOSE THAT WHICH ARE NEW TO TRANSITION:

Take it slow. Take it very slow. I jumped right into it and found myself questioning my very existence. It may seem like a great idea, but then your surroundings get to you. Me? My family was freaking out. And it drove me crzy. When depression hits us, we start to question whether or not we're trans and we find ourselves in a bind. Some of us detransition, placing themselves back in the hell that was their prior life.

I thought I was in a good place before. I was speding every waking minute trying to pass and fit in as a girl. I was devoting all of my time to the community and I still desire to do so, but when transition is going full speed, you need some time for yourself. You need some time to forget about what's going on around you. You need friends too. I'm not saying that the wonderful ppl on here aren't great friends that can help you, but I was ignoring coming out to the bulk of my friends.

Anyway, now almost everyone I know knows about me. I made a new facebook profile in male mode and started adding old friends and have been coming out to them one by one. I find that, for me, it seems the longer I've known someone, the more likely it is for them to stand by me. Anyway, things are starting to look up for me <3 I have been reconnecting with old friends and so many of them are supportive of me. I've been spending time with ppl I've got history with and it has made me feel alive. I am happy to not feel like I'm beginning a whole new life. That's a problem. I thought that I was starting a new life and becoming a similar, but different person and I'm not. If I were, I'd be no happier than I was at the start. OK, perhaps I'd be minimally happier, but it wouldn't be quite so fulfilling. And the pain of leading a false life would still remain.

I've learned some things about myself. I'm bisexual, but don't am done dating women. I can't imagine myself ever being happy dating or marrying a girl. I am feminine, but not as feminine as I thought. There is an amount of maleness that will forever be a part of my personality. I can't fight it. I need to be me.

I am starting hormones very soon. I actually had an appointment last week, but I missed it. I'm also trying to change therapists, cuz mine is great, but I think I could do better. She just doesn't have enough to say!

I am still coming back to Laura's, but now is not the time. I still need to find myself. I still want to be a moderator on here, but I need to help myself before I can devote myself to helping others.

I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

Aimee (changed my name)

P.S. Dear you know who you are: <3

♥

[Sally]

Aimee,

Thanks for the update.

I am glad that you are doing OK, I hope that you will take your time, transitioning is a journey not a race.

As you know I am always available for you.

Love

Sally

[Guest Cris]

Hi Aimee,

Transition is tough. Its not a flip the switch to a new life. The old one is still there with us. I am glad to hear your safe, and hope that things continue to go well for you.

Cris

[JenniferB]

It's so nice to hear from you Aimee. I miss your presence in the forums. I hope everything works out and you can come back here soon.

Love Jenny

[Paula ult]

Aimee hon,

I have missed you in the forums and on the other side.

I could not have written it any better, just about everyone wants to flip that switch and be complete, but it is never that easy, even after 26 months i am still not complete, getting closer though, come back to us when you are ready.

HUGS!!

Paula