A Crossdresser Or Transgender?

[Guest laura g]

Hey guys, so i dont really know if this is something to post here or not. So when a mod checks this and its not appropriate, then you can discard it. i wont be offended!

anyways, ive sort of been questioning lately what i am. i thought i was a crossdresser. but i almost dont feel that satisfied as i use to when i dressed up. now its just sort of like ok cool im wearing girls clothes. alot of times when im mad or upset over a girl, i catch myself saying i wish i was a girl. i feel like i wouldnt have all these relationship problems if i was a girl. i dont know what to do.

also i am sort of questioning my sexuality now too. my friend asked me tonight if i was gay after i commented to her that i want to be a girl. i wasnt meaning it seriously. but she thought i was then i seriously thought about it. and i might in fact want to be a girl. well i have had relations both personal and sexual with girls, and ive had sexual relations with a guy. he was my neighbor growing up. we always did stuff for fun. all the way up until about a year or so ago. he has a girlfriend now so we dont do it anymore. sometimes when im having my personal time i fantasize about him. i want to ask him so badly to do stuff with me again but i dont know how he would respond. but i dont like him, nor am i in love with him. i more or so want him for the sex. the thought of having gay sex really turns me on. now dont get me wrong, i love girls. i just got out of a two year relationship with one. we never were technically dating but it was weird. so i had flings and stuff with other girls. one time i was having sex with a girl, and i had to imagine i was a girl and she was a guy to finally get off. it was weird. and the thought of having sex with a girl doesnt exactly turn me on. but i know that i want to.

this is really strange. and i dont know what to do. i cant tell my parents. the only person who knows of my crossdressing is my friend. and just now talking to her about being bi-sexual.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hey Laura

I know exactly what you mean, none of the puzzle pieces seem to fit. It is a very awkward time trying to figure out just what makes you comfortable. I'm personally working just on feeling comfortable in my own skin first before I try to figure out whom I will feel comfortable with in a relationship. I have never had any luck in relationships because I don't feel good about myself, I figure it might be a little easier to stay in a relationship if I can actually stand to look at myself first.

Sorry I don't have any useful advice but I do understand.

LUV

Jean

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Laura,

I can understand about the confusion of what you actually may be. Lots of cross-dressers consider similar issues and either stay cross-dressing or begin the path to transition. Sadly there's no easy answer. Your best bet would be see if you can locate a qualified gender therapist and work out some of your confusion.

While some people can come to some kind of understanding about themselves on their own, it isn't necessarily the best way and can lead to other problems.

Getting with someone who really understands the issues and can help you find your way, is usually the best.

Hugs

Chloë