My Therapy

[Guest KellyGirl]

Well I've gotten a therapist. not a Gender one though, just general. she lets me call her. We've had some phone sessions but somehow Gender Dyphoria never came up...not once. part of it is fear...part of it is reluctance on my part, part of it is other stuff going on in my life...... and part of it is that she always leaves on some sort of stupid errand before I say anything >.<

anyway this Saturday is my first session face-to-face. wish me luck.

[Guest Drew]

good luck Kelly! i hope things go well for you

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Good luck! You'll have to let us know how it goes.

[Guest KellyGirl]

Thanks everyone. I'll try to keep you updated.

[Guest KellyGirl]

tommrow. I can't belive I'm seeing her tommrow. what could I possibly even say to her? well I suppose I should be honnest....post your thoughts.

[Guest Drew]

tommrow. I can't belive I'm seeing her tommrow. what could I possibly even say to her? well I suppose I should be honnest....post your thoughts.

definetly just be honest. if you're not then you won't move forward. just explain your situation calmly and matter-of-factly...i didn't, but i think we can learn from my mistakes

[Guest KellyGirl]

thanks Drew *hugs*

[Guest KellyGirl]

Well that didn't go as well as I hoped. well the therapy was nice we talked about my meds and about my gramps in the hospital...still I never mentioned the word "trans gender" but I guess it's fair to say I wasn't ready. She say how I froze up when working on my forms (particularly the "sex" part) my dad had to signed so I just went ahead and wrote a "m" and let it go on... anyway...she said I can set up more appointments and tell her when I'm ready. but I get the idea she knows the gender part of the form bothered me. she watched me sign...

[Guest Drew]

if she has some idea about your gender conflicts then that's good, but if you weren't ready to tell her yet that's okay...tell her when you're ready to tell her

Drew

[Guest KellyGirl]

Thanks I will. but it'll be uncomfortable no matter what won't it?

[Guest Drew]

Thanks I will. but it'll be uncomfortable no matter what won't it?

unfortunately it probably will, even if she's totally supportive (which she should be) it's usually just hard to say...i mumbled and stuttered before my therapist had to yell at me to spit it out

[Guest KellyGirl]

like telling my mom only probably slightly easier...well okay x.x

[Guest Sheila]

Thanks everyone. I'll try to keep you updated.

honesty is the best policy. i'm eager to spill my guts. i need to get this off my chest. just hope i can find a good therapist.

[Guest CharliTo]

yeahhh...coming out never gets less awkward for me.... I tend to not say it anymore unless I have to...but yeah, therapist sounds like a good person to tell. :] G'luck!

[Guest KellyGirl]

I should get her this week (becuase she's busy in the first week of June and I think I must get this off my chest. besides it may need to switch to a specialist.)

[Guest Keiichi-kun]

It's hard for me to say the word transgender or transsexual out loud for some reason. If it makes it easier try saying something like "I want to be a girl" or "I wish I was a girl" Good Luck with the therapy

[Guest KellyGirl]

yeah, I can relate to that o.o; Thanks!

[Guest KellyGirl]

sadly I can't see her this week. it's a shame becuase it only makes sense I see her after such a rough week.....you know. in the hight of emotion...oh well...

[Guest KellyGirl]

I couldn't see her last week. and I can't see her this week. and this week will be therapist refresher training...I should cut her loose and get a new therapist entirely <.<

[Guest raydub]

aww hon.. im sorry you have to wait so long to see the therapist.

good luck with the next appointment... well..or finding a new one.

Ray

[Guest KellyGirl]

it's okay that's just the reality of the situation x.x I'll get through it....

[Guest KellyGirl]

well my mom says I should change therapists (which I'm okay with I wanted to anyway) but when I explained I have difficulty opening up to her (not to mention the impossibility of ever getting a Gosh darned appointment @.@) she assumed once again I just want someone who will "agree with me" yet again. also it seems she wants me to do this not only becuase of the travel the busyness and the unsafe neighborhood but she wants me to go to the psychiatric ward of the local hospital so our insurance will cover it. I can't help but wonder if this is her outlook on my feelings and my condition...

well maybe it's not a ward. but thats what it sounds like. a floor of the hospital dedicated to psychiatric issues with 4-5 therapists there sounds like a ward to me.

I'm not sure. I think she may have said "psychiatric facility" or something. but look. it's a floor. of a hospital with nothing but people who have specifically medical "mental problems" with people who quite possibly are currently living there and a staff of therapists there seemingly around the clock.

what does that sound like to you?

yeah. maybe so. but shouldn't my well being be foremost? she paid for one session out of her pocket. she's going to act like she resents me for it? hell I'll work and pay for my own therapy and find my own therapist if thats the issue. money is just money. it's my future and my welfare we're talking about.

I'll Keep you updated.

Note. not all of this is entirely backed up by fact. just what I heard and my assumptions. however. I think I've connected the dots pretty well...

[Guest raydub]

please let us know what happens.

good luck and hang in there hon.

Ray

[Guest KellyGirl]

I'm going into see the same therapist I've had for one last session tomorrow or later today as the clock indicates...hehe anyway I'll let you all know....

[Guest KellyGirl]

so I saw her. interesting. we talked about my life and so many things but once again I couldn't get it past my lips. it got caught in my throat. the only thing that really matters. the reason I'm seeing her in the first place. oh well I have more to say then just that I suppose. I feel better about life in general. I guess I just need to get it out there...