Quotes!

[Guest 91curiouskitten]

To be sad, is not to be weak. To be sad, is simply to have been strong for to long.

Sir, they're shooting at us!....Well, shoot back!

Sir, we appear to be surrounded!!!...Excellent! Now we can fire in any direction!

A tuesday is only a monday in disguise.

Post em, you know you got em!

[Guest Donna Jean]

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If the enemy is in range.......so are you.....

Dee Jay

[Guest Chrysee]

'You show me a strong bird with an organ grinder, and I'll show you a sturdy birdie with a hurdy gurdy!'

[JJ]

Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number. (I love this one:D)

Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.

I fought the lawn, and the lawn won!

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

[Most of these are stolen from other people]

Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of time looking for their cars in parking lots and garages

………………………………………………..

Light a fire for a man, and you keep him warm for a day - light a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the remainder of his life

………………………………………………..

Give a man a fish he will eat one meal and be hungry again - teach a man to fish and you’ll feed him for the rest of his life - teach a man to phish and he’ll clean out your bank account

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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes - that way, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes

………………………………………………..

Nobody is perfect

I am a “nobody”

Therefore, I am perfect

………………………………………………..

When life gives you lemons - you’d better get some sugar too - or else you’ll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade

………………………………………………..

Optimists think the glass is half full - pessimists think the glass is half empty - realists know that someone else will have to wash the glass

………………………………………………..

Everyone is gifted. – some just open the package sooner

………………………………………………..

You can’t have everything - where would you put it?

………………………………………………..

When the blind leadeth the blind – better to get out of the way

………………………………………………..

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change - the courage to change the things I can - and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying

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Two wrongs don’t make a right - but three lefts do (work it out on paper!)

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If two wrongs don’t make a right - try three

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And a personal favorite:

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true

Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth

Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for

Unless it’s death by meteor

Lizzy

[Guest Chrysee]

[Most of these are stolen from other people]

Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of time looking for their cars in parking lots and garages

………………………………………………..

Light a fire for a man, and you keep him warm for a day - light a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the remainder of his life

………………………………………………..

Give a man a fish he will eat one meal and be hungry again - teach a man to fish and you’ll feed him for the rest of his life - teach a man to phish and he’ll clean out your bank account

………………………………………………..

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes - that way, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes

………………………………………………..

Nobody is perfect

I am a “nobody”

Therefore, I am perfect

………………………………………………..

When life gives you lemons - you’d better get some sugar too - or else you’ll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade

………………………………………………..

Optimists think the glass is half full - pessimists think the glass is half empty - realists know that someone else will have to wash the glass

………………………………………………..

Everyone is gifted. – some just open the package sooner

………………………………………………..

You can’t have everything - where would you put it?

………………………………………………..

When the blind leadeth the blind – better to get out of the way

………………………………………………..

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change - the courage to change the things I can - and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying

………………………………………………..

Two wrongs don’t make a right - but three lefts do (work it out on paper!)

………………………………………………..

If two wrongs don’t make a right - try three

………………………………………………..

And a personal favorite:

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true

Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth

Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for

Unless it’s death by meteor

Lizzy

Umm, about that last one. Not taking our medication again, are we?

[Guest Jacci]

What a cool topic!

"Banana chips for you, banana chips for me, in the afternoon, banana chips and tea!" ~Shonen Knife.

"I got the shakes that will make you quake.. I got the fries that will cross your eyes.. I got the burgers.....urm......... I just got burgers!" ~Cheeseburger Eddie

"When life throws you lemons, make lemonade!"

[Guest Kaitlyn D]

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If the enemy is in range.......so are you.....

Dee Jay

Ooh, I got some in this vein...

Cover fire doesn't

Friendly fire isn't

And when the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.

[Sally]

The secret to being a successful manager is learning how to delegate blame.

If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs - you just don't understand the problem.

If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs - you must be very short.

The world doesn't always fit, sometimes you have to make alterations.

1500 years ago everybody knew the earth was the center of the universe... 500 years ago everybody knew the world was flat... 15 minutes ago you knew that people were alone on this planet - imagine what you`ll know tomorrow.

Tomorrow is just a future yesterday.

If you keep putting off living until tomorrow you will end up with a stack of empty yesterdays.

Anyone can perform miracles just as long as they do not care who gets the credit.

When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.

A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest 91curiouskitten]

First I had four biscuits@ Then I ate one...now I only have three

~SSSP

[Guest 91curiouskitten]

the road to happiness is marked with tears. Youre only happy when its finished

[Guest Mila]

Two of my absolute favourite ones:

'...Who knows what the tide could bring...'

'...No regrets...'

Mila

[Guest ChloëC]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

I heard someone say that ignorance and apathy are the greatest problems facing the world today, but, personally, I really don't know and I don't care.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest Cowboy]

....."If you're gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough."

[Guest N.Chaos]

"Ideas are bulletproof"

-from V for Vendetta

"Art raises its head where creeds relax. "

-Nietzsche

"Fear is the mother of morality"

-Nietzsche again, one of my favorite quotes ever. I'm a big Nietzsche fan

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. "

-Nietzsche, yet again.

"Is adult entertainment killing our children? or is killing our children entertaining our adults? "

-Marilyn Manson

"When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love? "

-Mr.Manson again, he's one of my heroes.

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. "

-One last one, by my personal deity, the great George Carlin.

[Sally]

"If your cup is half full.....buy a smaller bra!"

Donna Jean Loy

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Chrysee]

"I want to know what God thinks. Everything else is just details."

Albert Einstein

[Guest Donna Jean]

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If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Only the truly mediocre are at their very best all of the time.

Source unknown

Love ya,

Sally

[Milly]

Peace means reloading your guns.

nobody really wants to save the world, as the world goes under where's your anger now? Don't you wish you unborn again, just for for a minute?

[Guest sarah f]

I can't believe nobody has quoted Forest Gump.

S@@@ Happens

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.

[Guest Katrina Reann]

When the going gets tuff, the tuff get going...So in other words it is ok to run like he**!!!Huggsss

[Guest Maria (Hilda)]

I love this one...

My mother told me not to swear, but ----- her.

~ellen D.

[Guest Chrysee]

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If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?

Donna Jean

Excellent! And of course, if there's no one in there to see it, how do we know that the little light goes off when we shut the refrigerator door?

[Guest Cowboy]

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain