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Guest 91curiouskitten

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"How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand."

E. Phillips

"There are two groups of people in the world:

Those who can be categorized into one of two

groups of people, and those who can't."

"Calculus has its limits."

This one isn't funny but I really like it:

"I do like clarity and exact thinking and I believe that very important to mankind, because when you allow yourself to think inexactly your prejudices,your bias, your self interest comes in in ways you don't notice and you do bad things without knowing that you're doing them. Self deception is very easy."

Bertrand Russell

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If you cannot laugh at yourself - I'll do it for you (a tee shirt in the mall)

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win you are still a rat - Lily Tomlin

If all the world's a stage how can I always be off in the wings? - Sally Michelle Jackson

Goodness had nothing to do with it. - Mae West

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Jennifer RachaelAnn

We're surrounded? Good. That simplifies our problem.

-Chesty Puller

********************

Lord, help my poor soul.

-Edgar Allen Poe

********************

There are only 4 questions of value in life. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.

-Johnny Depp's line in Don Juan Demarco

Jennifer RachaelAnn

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"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,

And live like it's heaven on earth."

— William W. Purkey

There are numerous variations on this theme including beautiful poems and wall decorations sporting the phrases, my therapist has them around the outer office but this one will always be very special to me because it was sent to me by the very first trans lady that I had ever spoken to long before I started therapy and even longer before I found myself (figuratively as well as physically) she became my mentor, my best friend and the only supporter in my life - I owe her so much and I am repaying her by helping all of the young transgendered people that i possibly can.

Love ya,

Sally

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"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Thomas Edison

"Republicans for Voldemort!"

"Honk if you have poor impulse control."

"Jesus is my car insurance."

Bumper stickers.

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Guest Kaitlyn D

I wanted to add this one as it's fairly poignant for some of us here:

"Be careful who you hate, because chances are, they'll end up in your family!"

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Guest Nikki A

Ich bein ein berliner!!!

("We are all Berliners")

hugs, Nikki

well, it means: I am a Berliner! which is a type of donut

it was a famous mistake by JFK while in berlin he should have said Ich bein Berliner lol

hugs, Nikki

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Guest ma-head-a-spinnin

Computers are like a God from the Old Testament... plenty of rules and no mercy.

To err is human. To blame your computer, even more so.

Computer problems are generally in between the keyboard and the chair.

(Very old one, 50s I guess) I may yet foresee a time when computers weigh less than 1,5 Tonnes.

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Guest ma-head-a-spinnin
well, it means: I am a Berliner! which is a type of donut<br>it was a famous mistake by JFK while in berlin he should have said Ich bein Berliner lolhugs, Nikki
Yeah, it's the same as a donut, but without a hole, and perfectly round. Cut it open and put some yellow cream in there. Yum.

We Dutch actually have the same thing around New Years, just lacking the cream. We use powdered sugar.

There you have it. Americans invented the doughnut. We Dutchies invented the ingredients.tongue.gif

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Dee Jay,

We had a local donut bakery here in New England that packaged donuts for the grogery stores. They had a saying printed on every box that went, "As you ramble on through life always keep your eye on the donut and not the hole."

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Guest ma-head-a-spinnin

.And us Ohioans invented the hole.....

I've got a whole bag of them right here!

The circular ones, with the hole? Or the spherical ones, sans hole, our "Oil Ball"?

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Guest Donna Jean

The circular ones, with the hole? Or the spherical ones, sans hole, our "Oil Ball"?

Yup! The ones like the car tire!

Oh and said by a Civil War General...

"Don't be silly...they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...."

Donna Jean

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Guest ma-head-a-spinnin

Yup! The ones like the car tire!

Oh and said by a Civil War General...

"Don't be silly...they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...."

Donna Jean

I think I'll pass, need to lose weight, not gain it. Once I start eating I just can't seem to stop.

"Dutch is not a language, it's a disease of the throat."

Given our raspy 'G', I'm not surprised we suffer.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Dakota.P

There are 3 types of people. The type that can count and the type that can't.

There are 10 types of people. The type that know binary and those who don't.

If your foot itches, first take off your shoe. - Chinese proverb

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Guest MonikaC

*If anything can go wrong, fix it! To h*** Murphy.

*The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

*Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.

-Those first three are from the creed of the sociopathic obsessive compulsive.

*The current state of social decay is not due to a lack of morals, but rather a lack of tolerance.

-Me, but I'm sure countless others have said basically the same thing.

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