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Guest Cynthia Of Creation

I wanted to add this one as it's fairly poignant for some of us here:

"Be careful who you hate, because chances are, they'll end up in your family!"

too funny my adoptive parents hate transsexuals and guess who happens to be one,. is it me?,lol i made myself sad

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Guest Jennifer RachaelAnn

too funny my adoptive parents hate transsexuals and guess who happens to be one,. is it me?,lol i made myself sad

Oh my god. Cyn do they know? How are you handling that?

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* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

* Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

* Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

* Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

* Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

* If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

* I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

* The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

* Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Courtesy of onelinerz.net

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That is one of my all time favorites!

Donna Jean

:lol:

And some more, for good measure:

* If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

* Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.

* They say that patience is a virtue, well I have been patient all my life and look where it's got me.

* Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.

* Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Tiaria

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Dutch:

Ik ben voor jou gevallen, languit op straat.

Ik zag jouw mooie ogen, maar de stoeprand te laat!

English (Roughly translated by someone with an A- in english class: me):

I fell for you, face first, onto the street.

I saw your pretty eyes, but not the curb side, that's neat!

Whoever made that little poem, probably needed a bandaid (or several) :lol:

Tiaria

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Guest Chrysee

too funny my adoptive parents hate transsexuals and guess who happens to be one,. is it me?,lol i made myself sad

I've been looking back as members of my family die off (Uncle, mother.) My uncle began mocking me in my youth and never let up, and the majority of his jokes concerned gender. I didn't get why he was doing it. His sister (my mom and, as mentioned above, also dead) seemed to believe in me, acknowledging my talents and perceiving that I was slated to do something special. Since her death, it has been revealed to me by siblings what she really thought of me.

The things is, they both apparently detested transgenders, transexuals, gays, etc. And the thing is, they seem to have known that my gender was confused even before I did.

I've never had much use for family: I was adopted by my maternal grandparents. Therefore, my grandma & grandpa were my mom and dad, my mom was my sister, my uncle was my brother (and my godfather) and my brothers and sisters were nieces and nephews.

And so, to quote a very, very old song:

"Oh, I'm my own grandpa."

Lastly, Cynthia, I love your (name? title?) I both write and illustrate but don't care to be called either an artist or a poet. I prefer to be called 'a Creator.'

Hugs,

Chrysalis

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And a few more 'God' jokes, as I just can't resist: :rolleyes:

* ""Nearly everything you read signed "from God" is just somebody putting their words in my mouth." - God"

* And then God said: "No! I meant a BUD light!"

* Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it?

* Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever. <PAUSE> Thy will will be done. <Munch munch munch.>

* Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill.

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Guest Brinnee

"If you truly own who you are no one can ever use you against yourself."

-------------------------------------

"It gets better."

------------------------------------

"Double rainbow all the way across the sky."

------------------------------------

"Looks really don't matter. In time gravity gets us all."

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Guest Cynthia Of Creation

I've been looking back as members of my family die off (Uncle, mother.) My uncle began mocking me in my youth and nev..... [/Quote] first off that would make you your owngrandfather if it was great grandparents who adopted you, and odly enouph my mother use to tell me the same thing. and sometimes ya just gota ''snap into a slim jim'' or ''snap out of it'' or sometimes ''you just gotta push the sheep through the fence'' (Scary movie 3)i think

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Guest Maria (Hilda)

We do not read and write poetry because its cute, we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race

-Mr Keating, Dead Poet's Society

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Guest sleeping chrysalid

I've been looking back as members of my family die off (Uncle, mother.) My uncle began mocking me in my youth and never let up, and the majority of his jokes concerned gender. I didn't get why he was doing it. His sister (my mom and, as mentioned above, also dead) seemed to believe in me, acknowledging my talents and perceiving that I was slated to do something special. Since her death, it has been revealed to me by siblings what she really thought of me.

The things is, they both apparently detested transgenders, transexuals, gays, etc. And the thing is, they seem to have known that my gender was confused even before I did.

I've never had much use for family: I was adopted by my maternal grandparents. Therefore, my grandma & grandpa were my mom and dad, my mom was my sister, my uncle was my brother (and my godfather) and my brothers and sisters were nieces and nephews.

And so, to quote a very, very old song:

"Oh, I'm my own grandpa."

Lastly, Cynthia, I love your (name? title?) I both write and illustrate but don't care to be called either an artist or a poet. I prefer to be called 'a Creator.'

Hugs,

Chrysalis

It's kind of depressing but I'd often envisioned myself like that. I imagined myself growing older, moving far away and doing something about my personal issues because I am not sure if I will ever be able to tell them. I think about keeping track of them as they age while I live alone knowing I was too afraid of their company. I know this is a very negative thought but I sometimes think that I will not be able to be myself until I am away from those who think they know me. They have been my family, friends and neighbours for too long to accept a sudden shock. I am alone and I am afraid I might experience the same thing as an entire life is shed for a new one. I am the chrysalid and I don't know what hatching will mean.

"Isolation is my death and silence is my tomb"

me

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"A bargain is something you don't need, for a price you can't resist." Franklin P. Jones, journalist

"Shopping is better than sex. If you buy something you don't like, you can exchange it for something you do." Adrienne Gusoff, writer

"We always walk hand in hand. If I let her go, she goes off shopping..." Henny Youngman, comedian

"For men, too, shopping is just like sex: they will only last five minutes." Jeff Green, comedian

"Too many people spend money they never earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers, comedian

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"4 out of 10 people say that marriage is obsolete while the other 6 say that everything is just fine and begin to weep." Stephen Colbert, November 29, 2010.

"Marriage was easier back in the 60s with higher morals, passive-aggressive wood working and enough Valium to drop a pony." Stephen Colbert, later that same day.

Love ya,

Sally

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Ham and eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig...

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

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"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved.

And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again.

He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree.

And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road."

:D :D :D

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