Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Your Relationship W/your Gt


Guest KimberlyF

Recommended Posts

Guest KimberlyF

I've mentioned that my therapist isn't really a GT but she is listed that way with my insurance. I know what I am. I don't need her for HRT and I have bigger fish to fry with esteem issues anyway. But she's aware that it all centers from the TS stuff.

Well she keeps telling me to be more assertive every week and stand up for myself. I'll feel better and it will become easier each time. So I thought I'd tell her a few little things that have bugged me with her. I know she's not trying to be mean and stuff but this is where I wish my insurance had a real GT. She gets things like I want to fully transition and then talking to about my parents she'll say like as their son...wait you want to be their daughter right? OMG she did not just say that. And I just say yes and dwell on it for a week. And she has been saying this when you become a woman crap lately...

Ok, I'm obviously still holding this stuff in and need to list all these things for Monday. And then at the end I'll tell her I have loved her nails since day one so sh doesn't hate me.

How does your GT talk to you? Is it like this board where it's always the right pronouns and name you use here and stuff?

Kim

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

How does your GT talk to you? Is it like this board where it's always the right pronouns and name you use here and stuff?

Kim

Honey....

My therapist always called me Donna Jean and used the correct pronouns...Even If I rode in on my Harley and had a mustache..

Donna Jean

Link to comment
  • Admin

My G.T. has been in practice for quite a while. She doesn't make a big deal of using my name or pronouns, but when she does,

its always the correct name. She asked me on my first visit what I wanted to be called, and it was a moment I'll never forget when

I said, "I would love it if you called me Carolyn."

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

Well honestly I don't think she's used my name once in the room in conversation and presenting male I don't want her calling me Kim but if I had a huge break down or something and tried to console me and whipped out my birth name I'd freaking lose it.

Link to comment
Guest Emily Ray

My gender therapist is very experienced and from the moment I walked into her office I was Emily. Early in the process before I was presenting female she would use my male name in public spaces, but once the door closed she wanted to speak with Emily. Brandon of course still resides inside me but he is now just along for the ride so to speak Emily has taken over the drivers seat and makes all the decisions and carries them out. Brandon just cracks jokes and encourages me to be assertive in .y communication. That means I express how I feel about something and what I believe could be done to make it better. Emily is still a little girl and when the world pushes in on her to much she seeks shelter inside small places like closets, showers, and under the bed. Usually Brandon can talk her out and create a plan of action with her to follow.

Huggs,

Emily

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

My gender therapist is very experienced and from the moment I walked into her office I was Emily. Early in the process before I was presenting female she would use my male name in public spaces, but once the door closed she wanted to speak with Emily. Brandon of course still resides inside me but he is now just along for the ride so to speak Emily has taken over the drivers seat and makes all the decisions and carries them out. Brandon just cracks jokes and encourages me to be assertive in .y communication. That means I express how I feel about something and what I believe could be done to make it better. Emily is still a little girl and when the world pushes in on her to much she seeks shelter inside small places like closets, showers, and under the bed. Usually Brandon can talk her out and create a plan of action with her to follow.

Huggs,

Emily

this was fun to read and compare to my relationship with ..the male inside of me. That jerk has had me locked in a giant birdcage in a dark room for 23 years. It's ok tho, I now have him in chains working 8-5 Monday through Friday while I sleep and get ready for the weekend.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Well honestly I don't think she's used my name once in the room in conversation and presenting male I don't want her calling me Kim but if I had a huge break down or something and tried to console me and whipped out my birth name I'd freaking lose it.

So, Kimberly, did you have that convo with your therapist? How did it go? Were you able to tell her everything you wanted to?

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

So, Kimberly, did you have that convo with your therapist? How did it go? Were you able to tell her everything you wanted to?

Carolyn Marie

Honestly I've only seen her the one time since this thread, then had the trip where I was gone for two Mondays and that session I did make just took off because between this thread and that session I had decided to come out to my cousin which did seem to be a good move. So that session flew by with very little dead air and was over much too quickly. She kinda asked me the first few times if I was sure I didn't want to come a few times a week because I guess I don't shut up, but I just don't have the time.

I know it's been suggested to bring a note pad in and lay out an agenda for the session in advance and I'm really going to do that for next Monday :). I tried to put a few notes on my iPhone but it kept going to sleep mode before I'd get to the next point and then I'd have to reenter the password and it got distracting.

But seriously, I just came out to my cousin and she's a SAHM and she's got the whole pronoun thing down already and wouldn't think of asking me if I wanted to be my parent's daughter. Duh!

Kim

Link to comment
  • Admin

Thanks for the update, Kim. Good luck on the next session. The memo pad is a great idea - that's exactly what I use, and it

works great. Pen and paper will never go out of style for this old fart. :)

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

Thanks for the update, Kim. Good luck on the next session. The memo pad is a great idea - that's exactly what I use, and it

works great. Pen and paper will never go out of style for this old fart. :)

Carolyn Marie

Yeah...I like pen and paper too. And I leave little notes all over the house to myself.

The reason I like doing stuff like this on my phone is a minute after I stop writing it goes into sleep mode and people can't see what I wrote so if I'm jotting stuff down at work and I get called away I don't have to worry about accidentally leaving something somewhere that people might come across.

But going back to my OP: I don't need her for HRT and I have bigger fish to fry with esteem issues anyway. But she's aware that it all centers from the TS stuff.

OK...since seeing her, I've become much more self-confident around my wife, and others. I came out to my cousin because of these sessions. I feel better about myself and I do like her and its been easy for me to talk to her since the first 5 mins. But I just sit there and at times like when she made the son/daughter comment it bothered me, and I don't want to hurt her feelings which is exactly why I'm 41 living the life I'm living right now.

OK seriously I don't need her for HRT BUT, I'm going to have to ask her will she write a carry letter for me? Will she write a letter for surgery for me down the line?

I'm thinking of just printing out this page for her, but I don't want to make it sound like I think she's stupid because she's always tried really hard to treat me with dignity and compassion which is why I didn't just never go back.

http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-a-Transgender-Person

Kim

Link to comment
Guest sarah f

Kim I am so sorry you have to deal with your therapist like this. She should be professional enough to get pronouns and your name right every time.

My therapist has always called me by Sarah. I e-mailed her one day from my male side and she didn't know who I was. I had to send another e-mail stating who I was. That is the way it should be for you to. You can use my post to show your therapist how others are treated.

The memo pad thing is good to use. It helps you remember what you want to bring up. It will also work in that you can just let her read it if you don't want to bring it up during your session. That way you can talk about other things then how she is treating you.

I hope she will get a clue and start to treat you with respect.

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

.

Hey, Kim.....

One thing that she certainly do for you is write you the "Carry Letter"..that is important if you go out dressed....

I like the idea of notes for the session (in any form) I never did that and just always winged it..I could of got more covered if i had notes..

You would always finish a session and say.."Dang! I wanted to say....."

Huggs

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

Sarah,

Well, the name thing like I said, I don't think she's ever called me by my male name ever in the room, and if I'm presenting male then that's what she should call me when she comes to get me anyway. And she's not going to use she and her when talking about me sitting in the room with me, but it's like son and daughter and there have been a few other things like that. And the whole when you become a woman one drives me up a wall. OK, we're going to have to establish some definitions here. This really isn't her fault because she is trying to treat me with respect. But if she doesn't know it's bothering me, how can she correct it? It's my fault for not saying anything at the start.

From the first session I asked her if she was a GT and she she had a little bit of a puzzled look on her face. I told her this is what my insurance said to me after weeks and weeks of trying to find a therapist they'd pay for. I believe she's had a few LG patients so has some decent advice on coming out and she interned at a Aspergers facility so she's also pretty helpful with my son. I knew going in I wasn't a teenager that needed a therapist to help me figure out what I was. There wasn't going to be any holy crap, I'm a TS lightbulb moments in therapy with her. Those came years ago. And I even had another actual GT this year agree with all the others that I'm typical run of the mill TS (if there is such a thing) but I couldn't afford her out of pocket. But as I get further along I am going to need things like a letter for surgery which I'm sure my doctor from the LGBT clinic that I talk to every month or so will be able to help with also.

Kim

Link to comment

I like my therapist, but she is slow in writing me a recommendation letter. Although eventually I guess she will. She wants me to control my anxiety and depression first. She is the one who noticed I had a serious problem with this and holding me back. Actually I'm glad I have a psychologist with a Ph.D because I can tell she is good at her job. Plus she always calls me Jennifer and gives me a hug at the end of the session.

Jenny

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Plus she always calls me Jennifer and gives me a hug at the end of the session.

Jenny

Getting that hugg is so important anymore for us...

Women Hugg...that is just the way it is....

I never really did that before...

Now, I'll hugg your socks off.....lol

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest sarah f

I love hugs now more than ever. I do believe it is a girl thing to do. I would give my male friends a hug if it didn't weird them out.

Kim I understand a little more now. Thanks for clearing it up for me.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 129 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • KymmieL
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. afraid of self
      afraid of self
    2. Chaidoesart
      Chaidoesart
      (14 years old)
    3. Faith57
      Faith57
    4. Joyce Ann
      Joyce Ann
      (70 years old)
    5. Kelly21121
      Kelly21121
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
    • KayC
      Congratulations! and Happy Trans Birthday @LittleSam! That is such a BIG milestone.  I can still remember walking out of my clinic with my first HRT presciption.  I was on Cloud-9.  Wishing you all the best in the start of your new Journey!
    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
    • MaeBe
      Let’s stick to cite-able fact. Most of my posts have been directly in relation to LGBTQ+ rights as it pertains to P2025 and I have drawn direct links between people, their quotes, and their agenda. I have made reference to the cronyism that P2025 would entail as well, by gutting, not cutting, broad swathes of government and replacing it with “conservative warriors” (I can get you the direct quote, but rest assured it’s a quote). All this does is constantly force the cogs to be refitted, not their movement. To say that agencies have directly defied a President is a bit much, the EPA did what Trump told them to do at the direct harm to the environment, the department of agriculture did the same by enacting the administrations forced move to KC which decimated the USDA.      How about Betsy DeVoss for Education? Or Bannon for anything? What about the revolving Chief of Staff position that Trump couldn’t stay filled? Or the Postmaster General, who did much to make the USPS worse?   Let’s not mix politics with racism, sexism, or any other ism. Because Trump made mainly white, male, appointments—many of them not, arguably, people fit for service—or unwilling to commit to term. I can argue this because, again, he’s up for election and will do what he did before (and more of the same, his words).   Please delineate how the selected diversity appointments have negatively affected the US, other than being black, women, or queer? Representation matters and America benefits when its people are inspired and empowered.
    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, the practice of putting into office wholly unqualified people simply because of racial, sexual or national characteristics.  It is no accident that Karine is a Haitian immigrant, Black and lesbian.  Kamala Harris is a Black female. Pete Buttigieg is gay.  Often you find that Biden explicitly stated that this is why he hired them, not because of competence, but because they checked so many boxes on his little list.  It makes a mockery of people and is a disservice to the US. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...