Your Relationship W/your Gt

[Guest KimberlyF]

I've mentioned that my therapist isn't really a GT but she is listed that way with my insurance. I know what I am. I don't need her for HRT and I have bigger fish to fry with esteem issues anyway. But she's aware that it all centers from the TS stuff.

Well she keeps telling me to be more assertive every week and stand up for myself. I'll feel better and it will become easier each time. So I thought I'd tell her a few little things that have bugged me with her. I know she's not trying to be mean and stuff but this is where I wish my insurance had a real GT. She gets things like I want to fully transition and then talking to about my parents she'll say like as their son...wait you want to be their daughter right? OMG she did not just say that. And I just say yes and dwell on it for a week. And she has been saying this when you become a woman crap lately...

Ok, I'm obviously still holding this stuff in and need to list all these things for Monday. And then at the end I'll tell her I have loved her nails since day one so sh doesn't hate me.

How does your GT talk to you? Is it like this board where it's always the right pronouns and name you use here and stuff?

Kim

[Guest Donna Jean]

How does your GT talk to you? Is it like this board where it's always the right pronouns and name you use here and stuff?

Kim

Honey....

My therapist always called me Donna Jean and used the correct pronouns...Even If I rode in on my Harley and had a mustache..

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

My G.T. has been in practice for quite a while. She doesn't make a big deal of using my name or pronouns, but when she does,

its always the correct name. She asked me on my first visit what I wanted to be called, and it was a moment I'll never forget when

I said, "I would love it if you called me Carolyn."

Carolyn Marie

[Guest KimberlyF]

Well honestly I don't think she's used my name once in the room in conversation and presenting male I don't want her calling me Kim but if I had a huge break down or something and tried to console me and whipped out my birth name I'd freaking lose it.

[Guest Emily Ray]

My gender therapist is very experienced and from the moment I walked into her office I was Emily. Early in the process before I was presenting female she would use my male name in public spaces, but once the door closed she wanted to speak with Emily. Brandon of course still resides inside me but he is now just along for the ride so to speak Emily has taken over the drivers seat and makes all the decisions and carries them out. Brandon just cracks jokes and encourages me to be assertive in .y communication. That means I express how I feel about something and what I believe could be done to make it better. Emily is still a little girl and when the world pushes in on her to much she seeks shelter inside small places like closets, showers, and under the bed. Usually Brandon can talk her out and create a plan of action with her to follow.

Huggs,

Emily

[Guest Dorcas]

My gender therapist is very experienced and from the moment I walked into her office I was Emily. Early in the process before I was presenting female she would use my male name in public spaces, but once the door closed she wanted to speak with Emily. Brandon of course still resides inside me but he is now just along for the ride so to speak Emily has taken over the drivers seat and makes all the decisions and carries them out. Brandon just cracks jokes and encourages me to be assertive in .y communication. That means I express how I feel about something and what I believe could be done to make it better. Emily is still a little girl and when the world pushes in on her to much she seeks shelter inside small places like closets, showers, and under the bed. Usually Brandon can talk her out and create a plan of action with her to follow.

Huggs,

Emily

this was fun to read and compare to my relationship with ..the male inside of me. That jerk has had me locked in a giant birdcage in a dark room for 23 years. It's ok tho, I now have him in chains working 8-5 Monday through Friday while I sleep and get ready for the weekend.

[Carolyn Marie]

Well honestly I don't think she's used my name once in the room in conversation and presenting male I don't want her calling me Kim but if I had a huge break down or something and tried to console me and whipped out my birth name I'd freaking lose it.

So, Kimberly, did you have that convo with your therapist? How did it go? Were you able to tell her everything you wanted to?

Carolyn Marie

[Guest KimberlyF]

So, Kimberly, did you have that convo with your therapist? How did it go? Were you able to tell her everything you wanted to?

Carolyn Marie

Honestly I've only seen her the one time since this thread, then had the trip where I was gone for two Mondays and that session I did make just took off because between this thread and that session I had decided to come out to my cousin which did seem to be a good move. So that session flew by with very little dead air and was over much too quickly. She kinda asked me the first few times if I was sure I didn't want to come a few times a week because I guess I don't shut up, but I just don't have the time.

I know it's been suggested to bring a note pad in and lay out an agenda for the session in advance and I'm really going to do that for next Monday . I tried to put a few notes on my iPhone but it kept going to sleep mode before I'd get to the next point and then I'd have to reenter the password and it got distracting.

But seriously, I just came out to my cousin and she's a SAHM and she's got the whole pronoun thing down already and wouldn't think of asking me if I wanted to be my parent's daughter. Duh!

Kim

[Carolyn Marie]

Thanks for the update, Kim. Good luck on the next session. The memo pad is a great idea - that's exactly what I use, and it

works great. Pen and paper will never go out of style for this old fart.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest KimberlyF]

Thanks for the update, Kim. Good luck on the next session. The memo pad is a great idea - that's exactly what I use, and it

works great. Pen and paper will never go out of style for this old fart.

Carolyn Marie

Yeah...I like pen and paper too. And I leave little notes all over the house to myself.

The reason I like doing stuff like this on my phone is a minute after I stop writing it goes into sleep mode and people can't see what I wrote so if I'm jotting stuff down at work and I get called away I don't have to worry about accidentally leaving something somewhere that people might come across.

But going back to my OP: I don't need her for HRT and I have bigger fish to fry with esteem issues anyway. But she's aware that it all centers from the TS stuff.

OK...since seeing her, I've become much more self-confident around my wife, and others. I came out to my cousin because of these sessions. I feel better about myself and I do like her and its been easy for me to talk to her since the first 5 mins. But I just sit there and at times like when she made the son/daughter comment it bothered me, and I don't want to hurt her feelings which is exactly why I'm 41 living the life I'm living right now.

OK seriously I don't need her for HRT BUT, I'm going to have to ask her will she write a carry letter for me? Will she write a letter for surgery for me down the line?

I'm thinking of just printing out this page for her, but I don't want to make it sound like I think she's stupid because she's always tried really hard to treat me with dignity and compassion which is why I didn't just never go back.

http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-a-Transgender-Person

Kim

[Guest sarah f]

Kim I am so sorry you have to deal with your therapist like this. She should be professional enough to get pronouns and your name right every time.

My therapist has always called me by Sarah. I e-mailed her one day from my male side and she didn't know who I was. I had to send another e-mail stating who I was. That is the way it should be for you to. You can use my post to show your therapist how others are treated.

The memo pad thing is good to use. It helps you remember what you want to bring up. It will also work in that you can just let her read it if you don't want to bring it up during your session. That way you can talk about other things then how she is treating you.

I hope she will get a clue and start to treat you with respect.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Hey, Kim.....

One thing that she certainly do for you is write you the "Carry Letter"..that is important if you go out dressed....

I like the idea of notes for the session (in any form) I never did that and just always winged it..I could of got more covered if i had notes..

You would always finish a session and say.."Dang! I wanted to say....."

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest KimberlyF]

Sarah,

Well, the name thing like I said, I don't think she's ever called me by my male name ever in the room, and if I'm presenting male then that's what she should call me when she comes to get me anyway. And she's not going to use she and her when talking about me sitting in the room with me, but it's like son and daughter and there have been a few other things like that. And the whole when you become a woman one drives me up a wall. OK, we're going to have to establish some definitions here. This really isn't her fault because she is trying to treat me with respect. But if she doesn't know it's bothering me, how can she correct it? It's my fault for not saying anything at the start.

From the first session I asked her if she was a GT and she she had a little bit of a puzzled look on her face. I told her this is what my insurance said to me after weeks and weeks of trying to find a therapist they'd pay for. I believe she's had a few LG patients so has some decent advice on coming out and she interned at a Aspergers facility so she's also pretty helpful with my son. I knew going in I wasn't a teenager that needed a therapist to help me figure out what I was. There wasn't going to be any holy crap, I'm a TS lightbulb moments in therapy with her. Those came years ago. And I even had another actual GT this year agree with all the others that I'm typical run of the mill TS (if there is such a thing) but I couldn't afford her out of pocket. But as I get further along I am going to need things like a letter for surgery which I'm sure my doctor from the LGBT clinic that I talk to every month or so will be able to help with also.

Kim

[JenniferB]

I like my therapist, but she is slow in writing me a recommendation letter. Although eventually I guess she will. She wants me to control my anxiety and depression first. She is the one who noticed I had a serious problem with this and holding me back. Actually I'm glad I have a psychologist with a Ph.D because I can tell she is good at her job. Plus she always calls me Jennifer and gives me a hug at the end of the session.

Jenny

[Guest Donna Jean]

Plus she always calls me Jennifer and gives me a hug at the end of the session.

Jenny

Getting that hugg is so important anymore for us...

Women Hugg...that is just the way it is....

I never really did that before...

Now, I'll hugg your socks off.....lol

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

I love hugs now more than ever. I do believe it is a girl thing to do. I would give my male friends a hug if it didn't weird them out.

Kim I understand a little more now. Thanks for clearing it up for me.