I've Decided To Come Out To My Cousin

[Guest KimberlyF]

I think I mentioned her in passing a few times. She's gonna walk with me even though she doesn't know it in the Princess 1/2 marathon and she was the cousin who's dress I wore when I wore my first dress and I was like BFFs with her when I was little.

We've drifted a part a little cause I've drifted apart from everyone. Everytime I see her she hugs me and says she loves me. I never had any doubt that of everyone on the planet she'd support me. But she has a big mouth.

OK. At this point I'm deciding that I'm just going to take her in my car as soon as I can figure out when and tell her how important it is for her to keep her freakin' mouth shut.

But every time in my life that I try to move forward, I end up just stopping and hiding again. My wife isn't really going to push me. She'd be happy if I hid again. I'm sure my parents would feel the same way if/when they ever accepted me.

But my cousin if I ever explained to her how much I needed her, she'd drive over to my house and slap me in the face if I ever tried giving up, and then go home and make dinner for her kids. She's really got a strong personality. I'm really kinda intimidated by her So I think I'm going to use her to help me and prevent me from doing the one thing I've always been afraid I'm going to do-giving up again.

Kim

[Guest sarah f]

Whatever it takes Kim whatever it takes to keep you from going back into that shell. I am glad you have her in your life. She loves you no matter what and will help you in any way she can and that is so wonderful.

I have thought of going back into that shell many times but keep kicking myself in the booty and telling myself that it won't change a thing. I will still be miserable as him and I am finally starting to like myself.

You will always have us here on the site to kick you in the booty too if you need it.

[Guest KimberlyF]

You will always have us here on the site to kick you in the booty too if you need it.

I know and I am so blessed to have the people I have in my life and I have my other friends online too and I told my GF that's agreed to walk with me about telling my cousin and she got a little testy and said she won't let me go back but to be 100% honest, there is absolutely nothing to prevent me from just unplugging the computer and just not answering her texts and phone calls. She's not going to drive three states over...well she might but I don't have to answer the door.

My cousin on the other hand can be here in less than an hour. Every day. Every week.

Kim

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Kim....

Hon, sometimes it's good to have a strong influence to help us keep on the path.

I know that so many times we want to just chuck it all...but that's not the answer...

Good for your cuz and her strong support...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Kim, I think you're doing the right thing, and I think it will help. Hopefully she will understand the importance of keeping your confidence.

I wish you luck!

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Kim

It is really difficult to do such things... to take that leap of faith... that the one we explain out gender dysphoria to - that they will help, at least somewhat- and not hurt us...

Coming out doesn't really ever get easier - but it does get more and more commonplace. I think the key is in the telling - if we are confident enough and brave enough and strong enough, then the person we speak to will pick up on that.

I feel that somehow you are doing the right thing, if it is like you wrote. She would be a really good ally.

Please let us know how it works out.

Lizzy

[Guest KimberlyF]

I've been texting her all day and I'm meeting her at the Outback parking lot at 11 tomorrow. Didn't even think of the irony of coming out at the Outback but there it is. She was thanking me for thinking of her cause she seems to think I'm going to talk to her about my son. I think I'm gonna rock her world a little.

Like I said this is the one person I never doubted would be there for me. She was my best friend growing up and she always says I'm one of her favorite cousins and I helped her through her parent's divorce. I used to walk about 5 miles from my house to her house to play with her when we were little. And the fact that her best friend is a lesbian doesn't hurt my thinking on the matter either. But it's just everyone in the family just blabs stuff to each other. I do think I can get her to understand that this is a little more important and I've kept this secret for decades she just needs about a year tops. And people can get seriously hurt if she doesn't...and not just me.

Kim

[JJ]

Good luck with your coming our tomorrow Kim. Your cousin sounds like a great ally and confidant. It's always scary but more so with those we care most about.

I look forward to a long happy post telling us all about it tomorrow.

Hugs

JJ

[Guest Opal]

Hi Kim,

Hope your day and your coming out to your cousin goes extremely well tomorrow. I imagine she will be very accepting, she may have lots of questions. Maybe she has perceived the woman within for years and years, and this will make a lot of sense to her.

Hope you are able to get some sleep tonight. May tomorrow be one of your best days ever!

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest audrey michelle]

once you do actually do it, youll be like "why didnt i just say it sooner..." because thats how i felt, haha

but good luck! i hope you go through with it and that the response from her (and anyone else in the future) is just fantastic :]

[Guest KimberlyF]

Ok...the only way that could have gone better is if maybe I could have gotten a word in the first 15 mins in the car. Finally I said I'm a TS and started crying...and she said "Yeah and. Go on.". OMG a little shock would be nice. She didn't say she saw it coming but then she started going over things in her head...remember that time you wore my...yeah...I bet you do. Then there was a little confusion and I will have to get her to understand this fully but she's receptive. She asked as my cousin almost 3 years younger than me dressing me up cause I obviously was powerless to resist, could have caused this. Nope...not about clothes. And I was praying to baby Jesus before we were BFFs.

Oh and she has a freakin cousin or daughter of a cousin on the other side who's a MtF TS. She talks a lot so I didn't get the whole story this time.

She's gonna read She's Not There and if I can still get fix go with me in Nov when Jenny Boylan comes here for the first time.

And she said on her own she wants to be there when I come out to my mom. She knows my mom

Then I gave her a rough draft of the letter to my mom and a box of Kleenex. It was harder for her to get through because she knows me and my mom and she kept stopping with sad eyes and asking if I really felt that way and squeezing my hand and saying she had almost the same conversation with my mom in July when she was asked why she's still BFs with her lesbian friend. So she's going to get all her talking points in order for when we talk to my mom.

I said I just wanted her to make sure I don't go back in the closet. And she said well that's not an option so what am I working on currently.

And I told her I think maybe I'll stay at this job for like another 9 months till I have to quit to transition and find another job or something. And she's like forget that, maybe we'll get you to where you don't give a rats what all those idiots think and you're just happy being you and taking all their money. OK...at this point I'm thinking the car fumes are getting to her.

Kim

[Guest sarah f]

That is wonderful Kim. I am so happy it went the way you thought it would. It is always nice to have someone else on your side.

I hope your mom is as understanding and you won't need your cousin to help out.

[JJ]

You ave such a cool cousin Kim. And what a source of support and affirmation!!

I'm very happy for you.

I hope it goes better than expected wen you tell your mom but at least now you know you won't ave to face it alone

Hugs

JJ