Mom Found My Clothes...

[Guest laura g]

well last week i walked by my sisters room and saw some clothes sitting on her bed. i went to take a look at them and realized they were the ones i had taken. (i know i shouldnt be stealing but i did what i had to do) i went to my drawer and my clothes i kept there were gone. no note or nothin. i was like oh well who cares. so since i knew she found them i was kinda lax. i threw some more of my clothes under my bed two nights ago cause i was in a hurry to get to school. well i forgot about them until tonight. well i go back and there is some of my thongs in a bag and a note and all my other clothes were gone. (they were actually some leggings and shirt that i bought!) well the note said that this was harmless. but bad and that it will take over my mind and there was a bible verse and what not. it was from my mom. she said i should quit this and throw the bag away. well i took out a thong, put it on. put on some lipstick and earrings. threw in a dip. (yea i know its nasty but its how i cope.) and now im sitting here typing this. should i come out to her? im not really sure she understands. i think she thinks im doing it as a sex fantasy or something. i mean yea i do get sexually aroused by dressing up but thats not what its all about for me. i just dont know if i should tell her about it. i mean she already knows something. or i could just keep hiding it. i cant decide. plus i dont even know what to say...

[Guest Honstu]

well, since your mom left a note she's aware that something's up AND she's also given you a glimpse of her views on your cd'ing. this is JUST my opinion, but I don't think you should tell her. . . yet.

first, look up some lit online about how-to-talk to your parents guide and see if you could write out something that would explain what you're doing and why. then, think about the consequences-- whether you have a FtF talk or give her the note. what's the worst-case scenario? could you live with it? i'm not saying the worst is going to happen, because honestly we never really know how someone's going to react until they do.

i hope this helps some and i wish you the best of luck. btw, what did you mean when you said you "threw in a dip?"

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

well it'd be nice to have your other clothes back. I can't figure out why she'd give you your thongs but not your leggings, are they considered even more heinous in the bible?

I guess perhaps she thought they were your sister's or maybe she washed them but wasn't going to wash your thongs.

Anyway I don't know. perhaps you shouldn't poke it. but you could perhaps get her a better book to read. of the the oft recommended her books about transgender kids etc. perhaps just leave it out for her with a note.

You could also go through her wardrobe and find any garments she has woven from two different materials (so anything that's a cotton wool blend for instance), and leave it out on her bed with a little note explaining that this is wrong and against god's commands and write out Leviticus 19:19 "Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material."

You could also do the same thing with any pork or shellfish. and if she reads her horoscope, then she is a practitioner of witchcraft and should be put to death.

Another thought tho. I know we have a lot of Christians here at laura's does anyone know any scriptures that actually defend us as transsexuals and cross dressers? at least to some extend. Something a little better than forgiveness and we are all god's children.

if it exists it'd sure be handy to have it as a go to scripture to fight back against these small minded views.

[Guest laura g]

to honstu - i meant like tobacco. haha i guess youre not from the south. down here we call it a dip or plug or chow. haha us southerners are strange

Now dont get me wrong. i am a christian. but i just love to dress up. and im struggling with the fact if its wrong or not. but its something ive been doing my whole life. so i dont feel that it is. im not sure. i saw something about eunuchs in the bible and someone saying how that says it ok. i dont remember where though

and im not wanting to disprove her or put her faith down. i mean she is a really laid back mom. she never gets mad at me for anything. doesnt ever punish me. but she is a strong christian. i dont want her to think im not a christian or anything. and i dont want to put her down either. but i would like something that i could show that its not wrong

ugh. im so tired of hiding this. i think im going to write a letter. cause thats what she does to me about serious stuff. she can never sit me down and have a talk. haha idk why but its mostly cause i tell her im not talking about it and walk away. haha oops.

but i sort of just want to tell her and get it over with. ya know? but i mean in 9 months ill be off in college. but i will still probly be around them my whole life. i dont plan to leave home except to go to college. i plan on buying out my dads company

[Guest Jess_a]

Not sure if it helps but I stumbled across this during some random googling: http://www.actseighteen.com/articles/women-pants.htm. It has some small parts abot men in female clothing.

I'm not religious at all but I was very impressed that the article used some sound logic and reasoning.

[Guest Honstu]

thanks for the heads up about the dip.

technically, MD is the south and my entire fam's from the south... but, i don't consider myself a "southerner".

if you're going away to college, why not just wait until you're leave? well, if you find it unbearable to hold it in, then i guess write her a letter. as for bible verses, can't help you on that one. ever since i read the verse about rape victims having to marry their rapists to preserve their honor, i haven't really put much stock in to the whole Xian faith thing. but that's just me.

anyway, be safe.

[JJ]

Well, I think since she already has found the clothes and has assumed the worst about it, you would be better to explain. Because she is hurting and worried at the very least. Her knowledge won't go away because you ignore. Neither do you want her to believe this is a just sexual fetish.

It seems to me that at worst she'll think what she already fears and at best se may be able to understand to some extent. There are many mainstream churches that are completely accepting of trans people. Some Methodist churches have even had ministers who transitioned while leading a congregation. So not all churches are unfriendly.

Going on the attack is usually counter productive and makes people angry rater than changing their ideas. Sure it is good to know the absurd bible verses that we don't follow in order to counter the ridiculous quotes tat get thrown at us But don't start that battle until there is no other way I never heard anyone persuaded of anything with dueling bible verses.

Here is a page to have her read that bases its explanation on scientific studies and cites sources. It helps move the discussion out of the religious to the medical and scientific arena. Which makes all the difference. There is also a lot of great information on site here but sometimes it is easier to get someone started on a site w/out the orums and then steer them here.

:http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/transsexualism-causes.html

Good luck with your decision. It is always a tough time but the relief of no longer keeping the secret can be fantastic.

Hugs

JJ

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

Not sure if it helps but I stumbled across this during some random googling: http://www.actseighteen.com/articles/women-pants.htm It has some small parts abot men in female clothing.

I'm not religious at all but I was very impressed that the article used some sound logic and reasoning.

that was really interesting, of course I don't think that saying women can't wear armour is any more acceptable but still. Interesting how people can so strongly believe what's clearly a mis-translation.

Laura I don't mean to attack your faith, certainly not on this forum anyway, nothing would get me banned quicker, but You cannot and she cannot selectively enforce or believe only parts of verses of deuteronomy, that goes way beyond hypocritical. I mean just try reading those few chapters around that verse, they're full of all sort of rules and abominations, that most people xtians included, happily break all the time and would not want to have to live by.

This isn't contradictions across different books, or an old/new testament thing. this is material written at the same time, clearly by the same person. it's like choosing only to obey 60% of the highway code.

And radio talkshow hosts, guys protesting at soldiers funerals, people trying to criminalise homosexuality and your mom don't get to decide for the rest of us, which scriptures are and aren't still relevant.

Please don't struggle with your faith over this. There are a lot of very good reasons to struggle with your faith, but this isn't one.

[Guest ChloëC]

laura,

I agree that it's probably not wise to 'confront' people about their faith, unless you have an extremely strong knowledge of all the ins and outs, and more importantly, they are willing to listen and to also research what is really written and consider rethinking what they believe.

But what you can do is get together with your mother and talk about your Christian faith. As one writer on the internet put it, Jesus (by his life and death) fulfilled all the old laws - except for the 10 commandments which don't mention cd - and basically in his new covenant said, Love your God, love your neighbors as yourself. That's a good start.

If she does want to bring out Deuteronomy 22:5, ask her to sit with you and read the entire chapter, maybe the entire book, and discuss why some of those 'laws' are still important to follow and some aren't any more.

Or better yet, before you talk to your mother, see if you can talk to your church pastor, in general, about all the laws in Deuteronomy and the other four books of Moses, don't even mention that one chapter and verse. Just say you were reading (and you actually did so!!!) and are confused by all the laws that obviously aren't being followed anymore - the one requiring tassels on clothing, the one requiring that you can't blend different fabrics (no cotton/polyester blends), that you can't eat bacon, that beards have to be trimmed just so, that houses have to be built with special outside railings. The answer he gives you will go a long way to understanding what your mother may believe and not be willing to give up.

A problem with Christianity is that a lot of people look at the Bible as a buffet dinner. They are 'allowed' to pick and choose what they want to believe and demand of others, and they have absolutely no problem justifying it, because they deeply believe it can be done. It's very difficult to have any kind of in depth discussion with these people.

I wish it weren't so, and I wish more people would just practice Jesus's great commandment and let the others go. As I hope you and your mother find some common ground that you both can live with.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest laura g]

well i just dont know guys. i mean a part of me says just to forget about it and hide it better and wait until college. but even then ill still have to hide it. ive already got an apartment and roommates lined up. so i wont ever be able to come out fully. but at the same time i dont want to come out fully. i mean i love my life as it is. im popular, im in the fire dept, i drive an awesome tahoe, my relationships kinda suck but oh well thats part of it. i mean i wouldnt want to give it all up. i mean id love to fully live as a girl. but just not enough to give up my life. but what i would love is to be able to come home and throw on some sophees and a spaghetti straped shirt and just lay around the house without my family saying anything to me. and being able to throw on a pair of heels and walk around the house doing my usual things. ahhh i want to so badly! but my family will never go for that.

i mean i think i could give my mom some evidence that its not a sin. but at the same time im still not sure if it is a sin or not. and that is something im struggling with. so i feel that i cant approach her to convince her its not a sin if im not even sure of it.

i guess i just have some thinking to do... a part of me just wants to write her a letter about it. explaining it. but at the same time i just say whatever. cause im not sure where it will get me if i tell her. i mean i really dont have anything to lose. im not close to her. and shes not going to punish her. the only thing i will have to deal with is the guilt of her knowing if she doesnt approve of it or whatever. ahhhhhh i hate this. im suppose to talk with my friend about it tomorrow night and dress up for her because she hasnt seen me dressed yet. maybe she can help me out

but thank yall for all the references to christianity and crossdressing. that will help me personally and also if i decide to try to convince my mom.

[Guest Jessica Who]

As far as coming out to your mother it really depends on a lot of things like your age, your relationship with her and how comfortable you are in your own skin (being a crossdresser). I came out to my mother in December of 2008 and it was a great decision, she knows and fully accepts me (and even reads my blog and watches all my videos).

I am a religious person but completely disagree with the bible verse, unless crossdressing drove you to murder, theft and other criminal acts then it's really isn't a sin.

Good luck with your decision

[Guest Emily H]

Talk to her about it this way.

The bible was a book written by men with politics and their own opinions in mind. Most Lutheran sects of Christianity believe that salvation is achieved through faith in God and Jesus alone. The bible is open to interpretation of the common man, and can not be the final word of one authority.

I see your mom knows that cross dressing is bad, but does she know the following other things said by the bible?

-If you wear both wool and linen (or something like that) at the same time, you are a sinner.

-The bible calls for the death of many, one specific one is anyone who has worked on the Lord's day, Sunday, or, Saturday, whichever one it originally was. By work, that means, ANY work, anything besides rest and prayer, if you ever did anything besides rest or prayer on the Lord's day, you are a sinner.

-THIS ONE WAS A SHOCKER. If you are not Christian born, you can never be saved. Yup. Well, my friend told me this, he told me he read the whole bible so that he could point out its flaws and debunk its validity but that's not the point here.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER TALKING TO YOUR MOM ABOUT THIS

You were born, a crossdresser. Some are born, intersexed. Some are born, to grow up and become transsexuals. Why would God Gosh darned a soul from the beginning if he is truly some perfect, loving being? The fact is, he wouldn't. And if you feel deep down inside you, as your own personality trait, as a part of who you are, that you must crossdress, or that you wish to be a girl in at least some ways, then you are doing absolutely nothing wrong.

But, thats the best I can give you. Personally, I don't believe in God and if I was in your position I'd tell your mom that if her God has a problem with me then he can come down to me and tell me that, otherwise, nothing is stopping me, because it is who I am, and I am not ashamed, and there is no reason to be.

[Guest laura g]

Talk to her about it this way.

The bible was a book written by men with politics and their own opinions in mind. Most Lutheran sects of Christianity believe that salvation is achieved through faith in God and Jesus alone. The bible is open to interpretation of the common man, and can not be the final word of one authority.

I see your mom knows that cross dressing is bad, but does she know the following other things said by the bible?

-If you wear both wool and linen (or something like that) at the same time, you are a sinner.

-The bible calls for the death of many, one specific one is anyone who has worked on the Lord's day, Sunday, or, Saturday, whichever one it originally was. By work, that means, ANY work, anything besides rest and prayer, if you ever did anything besides rest or prayer on the Lord's day, you are a sinner.

-THIS ONE WAS A SHOCKER. If you are not Christian born, you can never be saved. Yup. Well, my friend told me this, he told me he read the whole bible so that he could point out its flaws and debunk its validity but that's not the point here.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER TALKING TO YOUR MOM ABOUT THIS

You were born, a crossdresser. Some are born, intersexed. Some are born, to grow up and become transsexuals. Why would God Gosh darned a soul from the beginning if he is truly some perfect, loving being? The fact is, he wouldn't. And if you feel deep down inside you, as your own personality trait, as a part of who you are, that you must crossdress, or that you wish to be a girl in at least some ways, then you are doing absolutely nothing wrong.

But, thats the best I can give you. Personally, I don't believe in God and if I was in your position I'd tell your mom that if her God has a problem with me then he can come down to me and tell me that, otherwise, nothing is stopping me, because it is who I am, and I am not ashamed, and there is no reason to be.

emily,

thanks for your response. the thing is that i am a baptist christian. i do believe Jesus is our one and only savior. you see me parents raised me and my family as christians. so i follow the same things as they do for the most part. this only difference between me and them is my matter of crossdressing. but at the same time i dont know if crossdressing is right or not. i guess i just have not determined my belief on that. thats what i am struggling with.

i believe the bible is God breathed. and that it was not written by men using their own opinions. God wrote it through them. but one statement you did mention is that if youre not christian born that you cannot be saved. if you dont mind where did you hear that? do you have any references? i just would like to expand my knowledge on this because i do not believe in this. im not wanting to debate it with you because you stated you do not believe in God. but i would just like to know more about it! thanks!

[JJ]

Hi Laura,

I just have one question. Since we not longer are bound by al the laws of the old testament-which were not commandments out side of the 10-but instructions given to keep a desert peoples safe in a hostile dangerous environent or keep them apart from corrupting influences (hence the specific beard trimming, fabric blend and pork pohibitions) that applied to the at the time, in what way is cross dressing a sin?

I was raised Church od Christ and Southern Baptist and I never saw or heard anything that would make cross dressing or even being transgendered a sin.

I admit I left those churches as an adult because they lost my respect when they could not answer my questions and because of what I considered an immoral church tenant.

We spent every Sunday in Sunday School for weeks writing letters against making drinking legal in our county and when I asked why when Jesus himself drank and made wine I was never realy answered. I should also point out the people who talked loudest about it came to my parent's parties and drank.

I'm not saying Southern Baptists are wrong-I am saying this church was makeing it's entire focus something not biblically supported. You have to consider churches are lead by humans and one of the strongestls foundations of protestant denominations is that ministers and priest's are not infallible. They are leaders and guides. I think many have become wrapped up in non-biblical issues like homosexuality and drinking and such rather than focusing on the basic 10 commandments and the greatest commandment of all to love.

I am still deeply religious and deeply spiritual as well. But I don't believe you can pick and choose what to follow in the New Testament. Nor do I believe you can make up new laws and proclaim them the will of God. Not everything in church is right and true.

One of the churches I was raised in got around their consciences when they voted to deny membership to African Americans by teaching it was morally all right because they were higher animals and didn't have souls. And this was not just the one church but a shameful tenant of that church now hidden away in shame. My point is no matter the denomination follow your New Testament Bibe and that voice in your heart. And even thhen it is important to remember that much of the Bible is intended as a guidline and not a law.

JohnJ

[Guest Emily H]

I actually can't find it, I could ask my friend who said this. But I did find some other ones that I thought horrid-

If anyone secretly entices you--even if it is your brother, your father's son or your mother's son, or your own son or daughter, or the wife you embrace, or your most intimate friend--saying, "Let us go worship other gods," whom neither you nor your ancestors have known. . . . Show them no pity or compassion and do not shield them. But you shall surely kill them; your own hand shall be first against them to execute them, and afterwards the hand of all the people. (Deuteronomy 13:6-10)

Violations of the Sabbath Violations

Exo 31:15 Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.

This includes: Cooking food on sabbath (Exo 16:25), seek out food in any way on the Sabbath (Exo 16:26), leave home on the Sabbath Exo(16:29), making a fire on the Sabbath (Exo 35:3).

The punishment for breaking these laws was stoning to death, as ordered by GOD in Numbers 15:32-36 and Exodus 31:14 and Exodus 35:2.

Numbers 15:32-36 “And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.”

But its not really the point to this conversation.

[Guest MWDK]

well last week i walked by my sisters room and saw some clothes sitting on her bed. i went to take a look at them and realized they were the ones i had taken. (i know i shouldnt be stealing but i did what i had to do) i went to my drawer and my clothes i kept there were gone. no note or nothin. i was like oh well who cares. so since i knew she found them i was kinda lax. i threw some more of my clothes under my bed two nights ago cause i was in a hurry to get to school. well i forgot about them until tonight. well i go back and there is some of my thongs in a bag and a note and all my other clothes were gone. (they were actually some leggings and shirt that i bought!) well the note said that this was harmless. but bad and that it will take over my mind and there was a bible verse and what not. it was from my mom. she said i should quit this and throw the bag away. well i took out a thong, put it on. put on some lipstick and earrings. threw in a dip. (yea i know its nasty but its how i cope.) and now im sitting here typing this. should i come out to her? im not really sure she understands. i think she thinks im doing it as a sex fantasy or something. i mean yea i do get sexually aroused by dressing up but thats not what its all about for me. i just dont know if i should tell her about it. i mean she already knows something. or i could just keep hiding it. i cant decide. plus i dont even know what to say...

Don't pretend it will go away. She knows. Sit down and talk to her. The worst is that she just won;t understand, but she'll know that she needs to stop taking your things because it is not going away. I had the same issue when i was a teen. Good luck

[Guest laura g]

what do you guys think?

-----------------

Mom,

Ok so you found my clothes. Now I don’t know what youthink. You probably have no ideawhat to think. But I can assureyou it is nothing bad. Since you found them, I feel that I should explain it toyou. That way you are not worryingabout it. But I am a crossdresser,and have been for awhile. Actuallyfor as long as I can remember. Inever knew it until I got older and understood more. The world has a pre-conceived view on it. Many people relate it to gay’s. But I can assure you I am not gay. Ever since I was little I loved to puton a dress or skirt. It just makesme feel so comfortable. As almost as that was how I was suppose to be. If you remember the time dad caughtme. Well it goes back even beforethat.

Ireally want you to understand this. It is something I love to do. It relieves stress and makes me feel better. Surprisingly, 40% of men admit to crossdressing. Believe it or not. There has also been scientific studieson it that it is a chemical imbalance in the body that causes it pertaining totestosterone and estrogen. Men andwoman both have testosterone and estrogen in there bodies. Typically in men it there is mostlytestosterone with a little estrogen. A crossdresser however, has a lot more estrogen than a typicalmale. As you know estrogen giveswoman their feminine side. Welldid you ever wonder why I cried a lot as a kid? That was probly because I havemore estrogen than normal. Thesehormones must have a way to come and show themselves. And I believe that mine are shown through dressing up. I know what youre thinking, me. Of allguys. Im really manly. Im more mature, I do a lot of guystuff, and love to get dirty. Butthe estrogen in my body must find a way to express itself. With me it has no where else to go. So that is why I feel the need to dressup and be like a girl.

Nowfrom the note you left me, I feel like you think it is a sin. But I really do not believe it is. I have prayed about it and have notbeen convicted about it. And Ihave talked to others who also do not think so either. Yes in Deuteronomy it says it is. But you MUST look at the context inwhich the verse is stated. CONTEXT IS KING. If there is one thing I learned from Mr. Illman at school isthat context is king. The verse isstated amongst other verses pertaining to ceremonial practices. What it was basically saying was thatwoman should not wear men’s armor and appear as man to go to battle as it is amans job. So does that mean thewoman in the military are sinners? No. The same is with me. In today’s time the Old Testament lawsdo not apply anymore. We simply donot follow them. There is oneverse that says you should not wear wool and cotton sewn together in the samegarment. Now don’t tell me youdon’t have that in your closet. Orthat you have thought twice about it. You also have to remember that these verses are not commandments. We are not going to hell because ofthem. Im still 100% Christian. AndI truly believe there is nothing wrong with me crossdressing.

AlsoI want to clear up to you if you have not figured out that I do not do this forsexual reasons. There is nopornography involoved. So you don’t have to worry about that.

Ireally really hope this note clears things up. If you want to talk about it I will. I honestly would love your support withit. Now don’t take it as I want tobe a girl. Because I love my life. I couldn’t ask for anything more. And I love being a guy. Im popular, have a lot of friends, andhave a lot going for me with a bright future ahead. This is just a secret I have been holding for way tolong. There is only one person whoknows about this. And she lovesit. She is so supportive ofit. And she is also a strongChristian. I don’t want theworld to know about this. But Ifeel that you should know. I don’tnecessarily think dad should know. Theres no telling how he will react. I almost told Christy about it one time, but didn’t. I will tell her if you are ok withit. Brooke, well I don’t want herto know.

Ido promise though to use my own instead of stealing the girls. I know that is wrong. And I wont do it anymore. But if I buy my own, I really don’t want you to takethem. Heck I would love it if youhelped me out. But that is up to you. This is something that will just go away. It is a part of me. I have tried to quit thousands of times.But it always comes back. Like Isaid if you want to talk about it, I will. I really don’t have much to say. But I can answer questionsif I didn’t in this letter.

Ifyou don’t want to have anything to do with it then I understand. You don’t have to say a word or doanything. I hope this clearsthings up. And I hope that youdon’t still think that it is wrong.

Love,

Barry

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Laura,

Your letter certainly covers a lot. I wouldn't emphasize the chemical imbalance, because that often implies to others that all you have to do is take the right chemicals and everything will be fine. Like a doctor's prescription. While some studies have suggested what you wrote, there really haven't been enough studies on the whole transgender population to support or deny the role of hormones.

About your religious understanding. Remember Jesus's arrival was the fulfillment of the old laws and traditions. He said from his life and death forward, it is just the ten commandments with his two laws that were above even those - Love God, love your neighbor.

I could say look at the title pages of your (or any Bible) and notice the copyright. Copyrights specifically mean that the words published in that book are owned by the publisher and not anyone else - including God. How can anyone own God's Word? I saw one yesterday that specifically said you could not quote more than 50 verses from that copy without expressed permission of the publisher. Does that make that Bible the Word of the publisher and not God? Did God tell him that he could publish God's Word but that the publisher was allowed to limit what others could read and quote? The problem with all that is that by arguing against the Bible, lots of people think you're attacking them. Do not attack, but bring Jesus and his love for everyone and your love for Jesus into the discussion. That's what's important.

Your letter is a good start. I hope your mother takes it to heart.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest Emily H]

I agree that you shouldn't emphasis the part bout the chemical imbalance, I myself when reading your letter suddenly thought, well lets pump cross dressers full of testosterone and we'll be 'cured'. It doesn't work that way as we all know, and even if it did...well, remember in X-men when they came out with a cure for the mutant gene? Some people wanted it to be 'normal', some hated the idea because they loved who they were...

Anyway, it is a great letter, but I must also suggest eon more suggestion. Possibly, take out the mentioning of how you'd love for her to help you.

The reason... I once took coming out about cross dressing to fast, because somebody was very accepting of me, but I mistook that as a green light to just jump right in to buying hundreds of dollars of clothes at once, or talk about it A LOT. I thought, and always was, trying to go extremely slow. But part of going slow is making the person who you need to go slow with think that there isn't really anywhere more to go than an accepting phase for their personal self.

Good luck.

Emily.

[Guest Wendae]

Lose the dip girl!

[Guest virginiaJ]

Since your mom seems to dislike the idea of you crossdressing, I would strongly suggest you not give her an out by discussing chemical embalances. Seeing that, I just had to ask my SO what she would say if she had seen a miracle cure for transgenderism. Her answer to me was "that's just not right". She and I both believe that if I were to begin taking testosterone that yes it MIGHT, and i emphasize might, make it so I dont want to dress feminine anymore, but not only that it would definitely change other aspects of my personality both masculine and feminine. As someone already said her first thought and action, as she still has charge over all your medical care from what I understand, would most likely be to take you to a doctor and start you on a dose of testosterone. I personally do believe that it does play a part in my femininity, but I also believe that there are other factors that play a role. What those other factors could be Im not sure. Im not religious, but I do have some very religious members in my family. I havent come out to anyone except my SO, but I intend on asking them for there views on the subject of transgenderism. I come from a pretty openminded family and believe they will feel much the way you do about those laws in deuteronomy. Aside from the chemical embalance part in your note, I feel you made a very good approach in helping your mom to understand your views and your needs. The only other thing would be to loeave out the invite for her to maybe help you if she felt comfortable with it. I would possibly leave that out and see how she reacts to the note. If she decides to confront you about it and have an open discusion and things go well, then you might just let her have a couple days of contemplation before you begin to reeeaaaallll sloooowwwllllyyyy see how involved she is willing to be. Hope this helps and best of luck to you whatever you decide to do.

Virginia

[Guest Sharah]

Virginia,

I can tell you a little about what taking T does fro a Transwoman. I was diagnosed as hypogonadic (low T) and hade many symptoms that supported that Dx. I was lethargic, depressed, unmotivated, and other stuff. My Doc put me on injectable T every other week. It made me feel worse, and it certainly did not relieve any of my symptoms. I stopped taking it because the hell I had was better that the new hell it caused. The T did NOT reduce any of my feelings of wanting to be a woman, it just made me feel a stronger dysphoria.

[Guest virginiaJ]

Sharah,

You pretty much confirmed my suspicions of what T could do, I just never imagined it could make things so much worse. I'm glad to hear you stopped taking it before things really got out of hand, and I hope things are going much better for you today.

Virginia

[Guest laura g]

hey girls. so i thought i would update you all on this.

well... i havent gotten any where. i cant work up the courage to give the note to her. i just dont know. my dressing has gotten alot more regular now. every night i come up stairs, take an hour long shower, shave, use my sisters shampoo and body wash to smell like a girl. get out, but on womans deoderant and lotion. then put on my thong and bra. go to my sink, use womans face wash, and take care of my acne. then put on some sophees, or a skirt and a cute shirt. right now im wearing a sweater shirt, cami, short denim skirt, leggings, heels, and some pretty lipstick. i just dont know. i use to dress up for sexual thrill. then id relieve myself, and would take off my clothes. now i rarely do that. and when i do, i keep my clothes on after and fall asleep in them. then wake up an hour early and put everything away.

right now im really contemplating on getting my belly button pierced. but im a little worried about hiding it. especially in the summer when i take my shirt off. but i may do it

anyways just some thoughts and updates...

oh by the way i made a myspace for laura. Feel free to PM me for the link!

love you girls,

laura

Edited October 28, 2010 by Carolyn Marie
Link removed due to some inapropriate images

[Guest Emily H]

Laura, I went through a very similar phase, where I was once dressing for a sexual thrill or, the dressing became sexual at the end of each occasion, and It would end after relieving myself, but then it slowly became more and more about being comfortable as a girl, my bra, panties, hair, feeling natural, like it was exactly what I was supposed to be wearing, like it was who I am.

Because it became such a huge part of my life, I decided that I must tell my mom. My mom had no clue, not even a suspicion or hint at all, of what I was going to tell her, and she was very confused about it, and for a long while, it was hard for us to talk privately about anything.

But it will get better. Please, you should give the note to your mom. I think it would be best, in the long run, if not for the first few months.

-Emily