Saying Goodbye To My G.t.

[Carolyn Marie]

I first met my therapist 14 months ago. Making the appointment was, as many of you have also discovered, scary and nerve wracking. I had never said aloud to anyone in 56 years the words "I believe I may be a transsexual."

We connected right off, and at the first session she asked by what name should she call me? I was shy but managed to stammer, "you can call me Carolyn."

In 14 months we covered every aspect of my being, even the many issues that don't involve being trans. She helped me through my self-discovery of my female self, and guided me through the first stages of transition. I read my poems to her, cried buckets of tears, laughed together, and grew to care about each other as friends. Just the same, she was always a total professional, and pushed me just hard enough when the subject was one I really didn't want to talk about.

Sometimes, like yesterday, I still have lots to tell her. But other times lately, I've run out of things to say. She sensed that it was time to make a change, and a few weeks ago suggested I talk to a colleague of hers about her weekend group session. I did, and the group sounds fantastic, with 6-7 other MtF's in various stages of transition. I'll start there next month.

So yesterday was my last regularly scheduled session with my G.T. We didn't bring that up until it was nearly time for me to go. I had tears in my eyes as I thanked her for everything she's done for me. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. But it is time for me to move on, and I know she will always be there if I have a crisis and need her help.

How do I adequately thank someone to whom I've shared every intimate detail of my life, every thought and desire, every hope and dream, and who put me on the path to being a woman? I don't think I can, other than to say thanks for everything, my dear friend.

Carolyn Marie

P.S. If you are looking for a G.T. in the Los Angeles metro area, and want a recommendation, please PM me.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Oh my.....

And now I'm having tears for lunch....

Carolyn...That's a beautiful post, Hon...Yes, I think that the fact that we discuss our deepest, darkest secrets with our therapists makes for a special bond...

But, now you've graduated and must move on...it's all part of life, Hon...

Thatks for the warm feeling...

LOVE

Dee Jay

[Guest Masculinity]

That was really sad. I understand that it's very hard to say goodbye to a person that has helped you and gave a lot for you...or in better words: to make you the person who you are. But girl,you did great,so heads up and just thank your GT in any way you can.

[Guest Sharah]

Carolyn,

We are at opposite ends of the spectrum as far as therapists are concerned. You are moving on to the next pahse of your journey and I am just starting the therapy stage. However I remember very clearly when I first graduated nursing school and was working at Yale-New Haven Hospital's short term (30 day stay limit) psych unit that one of the very cardinal principals of the client-therapist relationship was that on the very first session the therapist was already beginning the separation process. We rapidly develop a dependency on our therapist and they work very hard to control that so we can become stable independant people.

The separation is difficult, like losing a dear friend, but it is necessary for us to move on to becomming ourselves. I can really empathize with your feelings right now. I wish you the very shortest sadness.

I send you giant hugs and wish I could be right there with you so the hugs were not virtual. I am having a tearful moment, but it feels so good. Being able to shed some tears now and then is one of the best things about being a woman.

[Guest sarah f]

I can't imagine saying goodbye to my therapist. I love talking to her about everything that is going on and what I want to do.

Carolyn I am sad but happy for you that you have come to this moment in your transition. Just remember is doesn't mean you can't talk to her anymore. All it takes is one phone call and I bet she would be happy to see you again.

Like Dee Jay said, this is more like a graduation for you.

[JJ]

Such a bittersweet affirmation of your progress in your journey to fully realize yourself. Saying goodbye is never easy-especially to someone who has been so instrumental in successfully guiding you through major changes in your life.

Yet it is such an affirmation that you are ready to go on ahead without her. I'm sure you will be able to keep in contact now and then and she'd like to hear about the rest of your journey from time to time.

Hugs,

JohnJ