Not Sure

[Guest AnotherAutumn]

Hello everyone. I'm not quite sure what I am. I am almost 20 yrs old and have been struggling with gender identity for about 3 years. up until the past year I thought that it went away but yesterday I came to the realization that I have just been able to ignore it better than I have when I was younger. Sometimes I wonder If I really am MTF. A close friend of mine is MTF, she knows that I have struggled with this in the past, but thinks that it was probably because I was molested when I was a kid. Any opinions or comments? I'm so scared and confused.

[Guest Sharah]

My best suggestion is to get yourself to a therapist as soon as you can. They are professionals that can really help you to untangle your confusion and come to terms with who you really are. We all have had times when we were doubtful of our identity. The important thing is that YOU have to come to terms with YOU. We can help by sharing our stories but those stories are about us, not you. A therapist will assist you in understanding you.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, hon. Shall we call you Autumn for now? Let us know what you prefer.

Autumn, let me set you straight on one important thing: I do not believe, nor have I heard anything to substantiate, that any outside influence, including being the victim of molestation, can cause you or anyone to be transsexual. If you are indeed TS, it is almost certainly something that you were born with. Parents often accuse their TS children of being influenced by the Internet, and of course that's bunk.

Sharah is right, you should see a therapist as soon as possible, preferably a gender therapist, to help you with your feeling about what happened to you, and about your gender identity issues. I am very sorry that you had to experience such a terrible thing, and honey, it is NOT your

fault in any way.

There is a lot to learn about the whole issue of being TG or TS, and you are young and have time, plenty of time, to sort things out. This is

a great place to do so, with the forums, and the resource pages, and the Chat Rooms at your disposal. Please take advantage of them, post

your questions, and someone will always offer a response.

After you have 5 posts, you can access all the site features, including the Private Message (PM) system.

I wish you well.

Carolyn Marie

[JJ]

Shara is exactly right. a gender therapist can best help you realize who you are in relation to gender. We have all confused at times and some of us periodically go into denial . And that can lead to lost years of misery.

You can save yourself lost time and additional confusion and heartbreak by going ahead with gender therapy now.

JohnJ

[Guest AnotherAutumn]

Autumn is fine. Thank you for your input and feedback everyone. I recently stopped seeing my therapist which I have been seeing for years due to an unprofessional attitude. I still live at home, so If I were to see a gender therapist I would have to pay out of the pocket due to the fact that I wouldn't want it to be on my parent's insurance because they would find out.I am currently unemployed which is a bit of a set back right now.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Hello, Autum

Welcome to the Playground!

I'm Donna Jean

Gee, Honey...that does put you in a situation..

A therapist is exactly what you need right now...They won't tell you if you are Trans or not, but, they'll help you decide for yourself...after all, the answer already dwells inside you...

But, I do understand your situation..

Stay here and read...and post. This site can help you learn a lot!

I'm wishing you the very best....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest AnotherAutumn]

Thankyou. I will try my best to sort things out and possibly get a gender therapist.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

I generally tell people to, at first, put everything stopping you aside and think about what you want the most. Then ask yourself if it's possible. Then ask if it's risky. Then weigh the pros and cons. If there are multiple paths you might want to take, do this for all of them. My therapists have always told me they can't diagnose me and everything is ultimately my decision. It's not, by any means, an exact science.

If you want to be a woman, there's no tangible line that makes you a "real" MTF or not. Aside from the rare cases of schizophrenia or multiple personality disorders, there's no exact way for a therapist to say "You're a transsexual." or "You're not a transsexual." Therapists are there to help you explore yourself.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Just don't expect a therapist to give you answers. Ultimately only you have the answers.

[JJ]

I don't know where I'm going with this. Just don't expect a therapist to give you answers. Ultimately only you have the answers.

Very well put.

I agree-and sometimes we make it sound like a gender therapist is answer to everything when the therapist is only a guide. But sometimes we can't find out way through this confusing maze without guidance. We have to do hte work but they can help us find the right pat.

JohnJ