A Kind Of Magic

[Guest NatashaJade]

Hallo dear ones!

While I was writing yesterday, I started thinking about the nature of my imagination, where the words come from when I'm just writing and not really thinking about it and then it's 1000 words later and I just kind of wonder how they all got there. And I sometimes write things and I have no idea how they came to me, I wonder about the connections in my head that produce all these ideas and how they come out when I am writing but not when I'm just thinking abotu a thing or talking about a thing. It's like there's this whole other process that happens when my hands "speak." But then I started thinking about some of the other werid stuff I've thought of in my life and I remembered back in high school I had the "boy suit" fantasy.

In this fantasy, when I was born, I was a girl, but I had some rare illness that was going to kill me within days. My parents, desperate for a cure, agreed to a secret government experiment which involved putting me inside a masterfully created suit that looked like natural skin and would protect me from the illness. The only problem was that the only suit they had was male. So my parents eagerly and reluctantly signed me up for this. I just kept waiting for the day that they would remove it or it would finally wear out and I would find the seal and take it off myself.

A silly notion and entirely implausible given that I was born in the early 70's and they did not have that kind of technology back then, but still, something that occupied my mind for awhile that explained why I just knew I was born a girl and this body was wrong.

I had a dream last night that I was at some official event and coming out was part of it. Everyone I knew was there, but the only person who got angry and left when I made my announcement was my father. No need for interpretation there, right?

So I'll keep this next part as clean as possible for the kids...

My wife and I haven't been having what you might call "active" relations with each other as of late. HRT significantly effects one's ability to perform and at 49 weeks, it's not just the performance aspects, it's the level of desire to perform. It's just not there most of the time, if at all. When I think about sex, it's this kind of amusing notion of it being something fun to do, but not a pressing need. Well, our anniversary is around the corner and we thought we'd do something fun and she's been trying cope with this element, because I think that in many ways, it is at the heart of her objection to my moving too far forward. She sees intercourse as an essential part of her married life, even if it doesn't happen. The possibility of it defines her as a straight married woman and that's what she knows herself to be. But, at her suggestion, we went to a specialty shop yesterday and started looking over the thousands of "devices" they had there. I have never spent that much time thinking about the nature and purpose of them, but it was fun to go and see all the differnt things that wer there and talk over which one would best suit our purpose. Well, she picked one out and we took it home (the kids were with their grandparents) and then she really surprised me. She used it on me. And now I understand the wonder of this device. I have never felt anything like that before in my life. I couldn't think for about five minutes after she was done with me and then when my head started to clear, she did it again and all there was...well, was a kind of magic. I used it on her as well (fair is fair). And while she might not admit it, this felt like two women sharing a lovely afternoon with each other because that was exactly what it was.

I don't have to push her to get her where I want her to go. Sometimes she comes up with ideas all by herself that move her forward in her thinking.

This week, have some fun, y'all! You deserve it!

love to you all

Virginia

[Guest Maria (Hilda)]

Ah, Gin.

Every week a new magical adventure is told through the gorgeous writing style you have.

This weeks adventure was rather... Fun, to read

Beautifully written as to avoid being direct, but still have the basis of one to imagine what actions would have ensued from what you described

Though I digress with my vulgar thoughts!

it sounds like leaps and bounds happened this week, thankfully without the children, and I'm happy for you and your wife! I think I know where all those ideas come from, ever heard the story of the... idea goblins?

I'll leave that, to your imagination. Returning the favour.

Oh, I'm nasty. Haha!

Love, Maria.

[JJ]

Gin,

Your posts are always so informative and helpful but fun to read too. It's very good to read about a positive experience like that in a marriage. Your wife is a gem-as are you!

My book has languished neglected since May and finding Laura's, but has begun knocking at the door again. I don't know where they come from, but I do know the ideas will wake me from sleep or interrupt a revere on something else entirely and demand attention. I've even had to climb out of a relaxing warm tub into a chilly room because they just wouldn't let me be till I wrote them down. Often they seem to write themselves with me just along for the ride. Those are always the best too.

Hugs

JohnJ

[Guest ricka]

Hi Sugar! Sounds like you are not the only imaginative and creative one in

your family! I think it's wonderful when a couple can find ways to adapt to

changes in their relationship, be it on a sexual level or otherwise. It does

appear that as you transition your sexual needs are changing as well. Kudos

to your fabulous wife for being willing to go with the flow as it were to

keep the intimacy alive in your marriage. She deserves a big bouquet of

flowers when it is not your anniversary (or her birthday!)

Miss Ricka

[Guest NatashaJade]

I think I know where all those ideas come from, ever heard the story of the... idea goblins?

I'll leave that, to your imagination. Returning the favour.

Idea goblins, eh? Gremlins, maybe. But goblins? Makes me think of some lost chasm in the mines of Moria where the goblins mine ideas and somehow they...well, it gets pretty fantastical.

love

Gin