How Do Genetic Women Think?

[Guest Deena]

I just realized that this may be a key for mtf

trans people to understand if they really are women. I

am a scientist by profession so I think about abstract things alot.

These are a few of the questions that I would lie to have answered:

1. Do gen. women think about their underwear and how it makes them feel?

2. Do gw think about how nice their nails look a day or so after they get them done?

3. What do gw think about when they are just relaxing (other than sex)

I haven't given much more thought to exact questions but I think y'all can see what trying to do - compare my thoughts to "their" thoughts. If anyone has examples to share, I think this might be extremely helpful if you can get past your inital thought that I'm crazy.

Thanks.

Deena

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Interesting, Deena......

We that are MTF ARE women inside and always have been.....

I have to believe that once we start our transition, we think about the same things as GG do.

Yes,

Do gw think about how nice their nails look a day or so after they get them done?

I'm sure they do...and short of worrying about passing, I'm sure we are similar in our day to day thoughts...

Does that make sense to you?

I know that when I began my transition two years ago, my thought process became very female in nature..once I dropped that male facade'....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest Deena]

I meant I would "like" to have answered.

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Deena,

I personally don't think there's any kind of standard for what some (or ALL!) people think. I think about my nails most of the time because they tend to crack really easily (and I tend to bite them occasionally because of it) and I always worry about how they look. I would think that people who don't have problems with nails tend to think less about them. And if one gets his/her nails done often, I would guess like any other repetative action, that eventually over many times the immediately feelings recede as other more pressing matters open up.

I also suspect as I have suggested in a number of posts, that because cd's (and possibly mtf's early in transition) have had so little time to actually 'live' as a woman that they/we try to cram as much into the moments as possible. If I had lived as a female since birth, it's obvious I would be thinking right about now (2PM) about dinner, some chore I had to do, some outfit I may decide to wear to some outing, my children coming home from school - to name just a few idle thoughts. As a cd I certainly don't have time to think of those mundane things when I'm dressed, and I suspect mtf early transitioners don't either.

And that to me is one of the signs of successfully transitioning - when you stop thinking of what you should be thinking about and just live your life. I don't think that comes in a short time either, probably takes months or maybe years. (I love movies as some might deduce - go see 'Charley' for someone who had to grow up in hurry and go through all the emotions of adolescent to post-adolescent to responsible adult. No magic pill for that, just lots of living)

I'm a very self aware person, but I'm also aware that to be something, I have to live it for more than a moment or a day. I just can't force responses on myself because I want to, I will have to actually experience them to understand them, so that I don't have to think about them anymore. I'll just do them.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest Deena]

I wish I knew how that felt. I u derstand that HT reduces anxiety, increases feelings of well being and lowers agression but it would be nice to know how women and men differ in basic thought processes and inclinations etc. in order to compare

to see how I think compared to GG.

[Guest Deena]

That makes sense.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

I think that Chloe makes some wonderful points as far as why our "time in role" obviously affects how much we think about what we think about.....

But, seeing how so many of us have less than two yeare transition time, maybe your question would be better suited being asked directly to a genetic woman for a better picture ...

Maybe someone else here can give you some better insight....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

For the 6 months of hormones so far this is what I noticed.

1) I tend to spend a lot more time thinking about what to wear and if it matches.

2) I spend about 30 more minutes getting ready to leave for work.

3) I think about others before myself. As a male I would just do something and if it hurt your feelings well I am sorry. Now I think about if it is going to upset someone before I do it.

4) I am a lot more relaxed and not in such a hurry all the time. I like to observe things more than ever.

5) Putting on make-up or nail polish has a whole new meaning for me. I do it because I want to look good.

These are just a few of the things that I think a GW would do too.

[Guest Deena]

Sarah-

lol. You made my day. If color matching clothes or coordinating them is a measure of femaleness then wow, I'm definitely a girlie girl! I thought all guys did that but maybe their wives do it for them.

Deena

[JJ]

I can't answer as a genetic woman because of course my mind is not a woman's but I did spend 60 years among them trying to figure out why I didn't fit and listening to thoughts and complaints.

And there is no one answer to your question. Some worry about nails and others bite them all the time and don't care. Some think about sex and guys or husband 90% of their waking time. Some about their looks and fashion. Others seldom think about those things but about career, books or food or music or any one of a thousand other things.

Some are totally self aware and self-absorbed while others are completely selfless and seldom have a moment for themselves. They run the gamut.

The commonalities I see among women as opposed to men are a more circular approach to situations and problem solving. And less physical aggression. I don't see any less aggression. Just completely different and more subtle indirect ways of expressing it. The same with competition. It exists as abundantly but is much more subtly expressed. Not in the biggest car or longest throw but in the best fashions or cookies or shoes or knowledge about the latest gossip. The best children. It varies by group but it's there.

The differences aren't in what they think about and feel as much as in the WAY they think about them and act on the feelings. Some of that is cultural. Much is not.

JohnJ

[Guest Deena]

Interesting. What do you mean by circular? That is an interesting statement.

[Guest Deena]

JJ

do you mean women kind of approach problems from different angles or from other perspectives than men who might take a butt heads or brute force approach?

D

[JJ]

I mean that even when men don't use a brute strength approach they tend to think in a linear way. A to B to C etc and analyze the peripherals as they affect that line. Whereas women look at all the perennials and deduct the line. Men think of their approach as logical and women as intuitive. Just different ideas for different approaches.

Women also tend to rely on their feelings about an issue-not all of course -where men tend to rely on straight reasoning. Again not all but in general. What is seen as an emotional response to a set of facts in women I think is actually that they are seeing things in more complex terms initially. It gets labeled intuition and emotion because it is not as easily verbalized and not always conscious.

It is now pretty well accepted that men's emotions can be overruled by certain stimuli at times. A strongly sexual visual stimulation can override other emotions-at least temporarily. This has been observed to have more effect on the brains of teenage boys and apparently men eventually learn to compensate for it. But I wondered when I have heard and read this if that is maybe why men don't trust their emotions the way women do. That phenomena doesn't happen to women.

We do think differently. Observing the brain activity of men and women as proven differences-although there are many more similarities than differences. Those of us who have brains that are hard wired configured as one sex yet rewired from puberty at least as another by hormones are probably truly singularly able to perceive the world in a very unique and more comprehensive way.

My thoughts anyway.

JohnJ

[Guest ChloëC]

Deena, I know I'm different than how most males typically deal with issues. I want to be there with the other person and look really hard for clues as to how the other person is dealing with whatever issue, and I will greatly change how I try to convey my ideas because of what I'm reading. Most guys, at least from an image view, just bull ahead.

I don't know if you remember but I think a year or more ago there were these two women college softball teams playing each other, and one girl hit a home run, but hurt her leg going to first base. Technically, nobody on her team could come to her aid for the run to score, and if she couldn't complete it, she wouldn't get credit. She couldn't walk at that point. The other team talked about it, and two fielders came over, picked her up and carried her around the base path, letting her touch each base. Problem solved. Sportsmanship shown. People showing that caring trumps just a game.

Do you in a million years think that any male team would even come close to doing that? Or that any male coach would allow his players do so such a thing. That's a huge difference in thinking and dealing with problems, between the genders.

I think we all as humans think about our lives on a moment to moment basis with mostly very mundane things on our minds, but it's how we proceed in dealing with the problems facing us in finding solutions that we are different. Circular, from a different angle, whatever, it's just different.

Hugs

Chloë

[Paula ult]

I just realized that this may be a key for mtf

trans people to understand if they really are women. I

am a scientist by profession so I think about abstract things alot.

These are a few of the questions that I would lie to have answered:

1. Do gen. women think about their underwear and how it makes them feel?

2. Do gw think about how nice their nails look a day or so after they get them done?

3. What do gw think about when they are just relaxing (other than sex)

I haven't given much more thought to exact questions but I think y'all can see what trying to do - compare my thoughts to "their" thoughts. If anyone has examples to share, I think this might be extremely helpful if you can get past your inital thought that I'm crazy.

Thanks.

Deena

Deena, i am not a GG but i have been full time a year and a half, and have observed and talk to GG's all the time, the only time i think about underwear is when i need to decide what color panties match what i am going to wear, i spend time thinking about what i am going to wear depending on the weather and where i am going but it is not an all day process, the big thing is to blend in with those your age.

Makeup is the same way, i do not obsess over it, less is more, most GG's wear heavy makeup only for special occasions, everyday usage for me and many GG's is usually eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss, for a quick trip to the store lip gloss is usually all i put on, but a special event i will go all out.

Allot of women wear nail polish only on their toes, i have heard it is because your feet are farther from your eyes than your hands and you can not see the flaws as easily, plus allot of work with your hands wears the polish off, i wear acrylics on my fingers and touch up the polish myself when i see it worn, i think it depends on how nice you want your nails to look.

When i relax i will watch a good movie, read a book, listen to some music, play a game or mostly come here to moderate.

I do not think you are crazy, when we begin transition, it is all we think about 24/7, i was no different, we are so focused on transitioning that we forget to live our lives, after quite a few months i told my therapist that i came to the realization that i can transition and live my life, and i have done just that.

Transition takes years, not days or months, might as well take things slow and smell the roses along the way.

Paula

[Guest erikka2046]

Hi Deena,

I agree with JJ mentioned GG approach problems in much more different ways than men. I think most GG are more into details (like GG can spot a hair fall on someone's suit) so they can see things in more different ways. Also, in men's world of solving the problem , they always want to be the one who win and be the smartest alpha vs most GG (expecpt few ones) like to collabrate with other people to solve problems. Like men may say " I am smart and I solve the problem for you guys", GG may say "without your guys' help, we cannot solve the problem'.

I think GGs' (not all) thinking and functions are affected by of lots of emotions and relationships with the people around them.....like collegues, family, friends..... The mind and decision are influenced by people around them... e.g. if they go to buy something, they may ask for help or opinions of their friends, family, sales associates...etc. Its hard to say since GGs' thinking varies a lot, but if you think like them, I may say there seems to be a non-verbral thing that they understand each other's minds...e.g. like if they rant about their husband or boy friend, you may able to share and understand their feeling, which is something very difficult to explain.

To answer your first three questions:

1. GG do think a lot about their underwear than men can imagine. There are so many different styles serve for different functions and activities like: bikinis, briefs, boy shorts, cheekies, hiphuggers, thongs, seamless...etc. They have to feel comfortable and also makes them looks good. Different materials and colours also affect by individual taste and the purpose of them. Which one to use also depends on what they are going to wear...it just not a simple garment to cover the private parts.

2. Nails really depends on different GGs and how high-maintanence or feminie they are. Some are crazy like every nails have to be perfect and have to get them done weekly with different colors and nail arts. Some GG just be natural and nothing on or just a clear coat. But for important functions, usually it is nice to get the nails done. (Forgot to say, most GGs hate people call them crazy!) For me I like my nails look nice but have to be funtional for daily activities and chores.

3. What GG thinks when they are relax are much different from men. There are so many things relaxing other than sex. Men may think about sex very often but most GGs not. GGs may have millions things in their mind compare to men, family, friends, relationships, spa, shopping, food.....etc. There are many things that men seems may never understand why a GG think is relaxing, even something as little as holding a cute little dog...hard to explain but that's how GGs' brains operate.

Hope this may help you

Erikka

[Guest Deena]

Your replies have been so interesting! Thank you!

Deena

[Guest erikka2046]

Oh, I forgot to give you an example.

Last weekend I went shopping with my girlfriend (a GG) and her husband. We have a gift card and going to get some nice yoga wear. We went to the shop, browsed for quite a while, eventually we found a couple yoga vests with supportive bras with nice color and materials. As usual, we asked for the sizes and tried them on and asked the opinions of the sales lady and my friend's husband. They said nice and looks great on us..... eventually we both didn't take them.

My friend's husband get a bit upset and don't understand why. He said, 'You girls like the vests, like the colors, they fit great, great material, you can get it from the gift card...so its kind of free, and we spent nearly an hour in the shop just for the the yoga wear....then why don't you girls just take it????'

We answered, "We do like the vests, but we just don't feel we like it as badly as before we tried them on. They did fit well and the colors are great, materials are great and very comfy, but we just don't want it now, maybe next time....you understand my dear?' Of course his response was a blank face mixed with ??? and probably won't go with us next time.

I think base on men's mind, perception and logical thinking: after all the steps in the shop, time spent, everything went well, we should make the decision and take the vests, there must be no obvious reason to let them go. And our decision really puzzled him and doesn't make any sense to him at all. I believe women's thinking and decision base a lot on feelings, intuition, moods... etc. It is not always as logical just base on facts, but that's how our brains operates.

Erikka

[Guest BeckyTG]

Oh, I forgot to give you an example.

Last weekend I went shopping with my girlfriend (a GG) and her husband. We have a gift card and going to get some nice yoga wear.

They said nice and looks great on us..... eventually we both didn't take them.

My friend's husband get a bit upset and don't understand why.

We answered, "We do like the vests, but we just don't feel we like it as badly as before we tried them on. They did fit well and the colors are great, materials are great and very comfy, but we just don't want it now, maybe next time....you understand my dear?' Of course his response was a blank face mixed with ??? and probably won't go with us next time.

I think base on men's mind, perception and logical thinking: after all the steps in the shop, time spent, everything went well, we should make the decision and take the vests, there must be no obvious reason to let them go. And our decision really puzzled him and doesn't make any sense to him at all. I believe women's thinking and decision base a lot on feelings, intuition, moods... etc. It is not always as logical just base on facts, but that's how our brains operates.

Erikka

Erikka,

This is easy--men have one objective when they shop (hunt)--kill the beast and drag home dinner. (Find what you want, buy it and get out). There is no other reason to shop, other than to buy things.

Women shop as recreation. It's fun. Gathering involves feeling textures and firmness, tasting, judging the color of the food and deciding whether or not to put it in the basket. Actually buying something means they can't go after any more of it, the game is over.

I am a prime example of this. As a man (under the effect of the dreaded testosterone), I hated to shop and was proud to "get in and get out".

Now that my true self has emerged, I love to shop and spend hours at it. I may not even need anything, but love to visit the stores and just see what they have. I love shopping and I love it even better when I have a girlfriend to do it with me. We try on everything in the store and enjoy the whole time we're together doing it.

I'm very careful about what I buy, so I don't end up with stuff I'll never wear.

This answer is easy....

Becky

[Guest AshleyRF]

I wish I knew how that felt. I u derstand that HT reduces anxiety, increases feelings of well being and lowers agression but it would be nice to know how women and men differ in basic thought processes and inclinations etc. in order to compare

to see how I think compared to GG.

Well I have yet to experience a reduction in anxiety. In fact mine has increased 10 fold. Pre transition I never worried about anything (mostly because I just did not care about anything). Now I constantly worry about passing, or am I loosing my girl voice, or my hair, or whatever possible things could happen that would make me not pass.