Do You Notice?

[Flint]

I notice everytime. I notice if they calle me 'she' and i die a little inside, and think oh god i must have been deluded the other day to think i pass! I notice when people call me 'he' i secretley celebrate inside. If i could i'd do a little dance! But it's hard to dance on wheeels and people may think i'm strange....

[Guest Jamie-o]

Before I started transitioning it didn't so much bother me when people referred to me as "she" or "that lady", but I always had a moment of disconnect - that fraction of a second when I thought, "Who? Oh, right. Me."

[Guest raydub]

had a moment of disconnect - that fraction of a second when I thought, "Who? Oh, right. Me."

i find myself doing that sometimes now.. like if im having a confident day.. im like.. she? my wife? ooooo.. youre talkin about me. my bad. yeah.. im a guy dipisht.

Ray

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

i find myself doing that sometimes now.. like if im having a confident day.. im like.. she? my wife? ooooo.. youre talkin about me. my bad. yeah.. im a guy dipisht.

Ray

Yeah, I guess I don't get so much upset as I have "moments of disconnect" when someone calls me "she". Even though I know they are talking about me, I feel as if that person is actually someone else...if that makes sense. It's like my "stage name" or something. I'm used to it, but it doesn't feel like me.

[Guest Jamie-o]

Yeah, I guess I don't get so much upset as I have "moments of disconnect" when someone calls me "she". Even though I know they are talking about me, I feel as if that person is actually someone else...if that makes sense. It's like my "stage name" or something. I'm used to it, but it doesn't feel like me.

Yes, exactly! It's sort of like when you're in a play and the director calls you by your character's name. You know he's talking to you, but really it's only someone you're pretending to be for a while.

[Guest 2892Bandie]

I have noticed almost every time i get called it... i have for the last years. It's really hard to ignore it when they are obviously calling me the wrong pronoun... although i am not out all the way so... i can't let it get to much.

[Guest Seth]

Everyday, it makes me more and more mad, getting called 'she', 'her', 'girl'. Nowadays, I just wanna scream "I'M A BOY!" but I get too scared. I'm a bit pathetic.

[Guest Tabe]

Everyday, it makes me more and more mad, getting called 'she', 'her', 'girl'. Nowadays, I just wanna scream "I'M A BOY!" but I get too scared. I'm a bit pathetic.

YES, I know exactly what you mean. I've come this close to snapping that out a few times.

What I can't stand is the fact that I pass, yet my Dad always introduces me by going "this is my daughter, -legalname-." And the killer is, he knows. I've begged him a few times to not say what sex I am in his introductions, because even when people know my uber-girly name I pass a good half of the time. But he always forgets, and does it anyway. And that really hurts.

What's funny is that he constantly refers to me as "he", technically a Freudian slip on his part, then 'corrects' himself by saying "she", then looks at me funny to see my reaction. What do you think my reaction is going to be, dumb-arse?

[Guest harvester52]

YES, I know exactly what you mean. I've come this close to snapping that out a few times.

What I can't stand is the fact that I pass, yet my Dad always introduces me by going "this is my daughter, -legalname-." And the killer is, he knows. I've begged him a few times to not say what sex I am in his introductions, because even when people know my uber-girly name I pass a good half of the time. But he always forgets, and does it anyway. And that really hurts.

What's funny is that he constantly refers to me as "he", technically a Freudian slip on his part, then 'corrects' himself by saying "she", then looks at me funny to see my reaction. What do you think my reaction is going to be, dumb-arse?

My dad does the same thing. It irritates the crap out of me. I can't stand it when people use my legal name/wrong pronouns. My mom has gotten real good at it. She introduces me as 'son' and calls me BC. Every time she does it, it makes me so happy. But anybody who knows I'm trans and still calls me -legalname-... I hate it. I get angry. I almost snap at them.

[Guest Mitchel]

I get frustrated a lot when I get refered to by a female pronoun. Most of the time I can ignore it, but other times it really gets on my nerves. I've been lucky that although I haven't started on T just yet, I seem to pass about 50% of the time. I have always introduced myself with my male name, so that is all my friends know me by, really. That seems to take away a lot of my frustration at the rest of society

[Guest babyboy]

everytime it makes me soooo mad i want to be called

she, her, that girl as long as its feminine

[Guest Fooly]

Since I'm not that social most of my friends are from the online world lol, and most of them only know me as a guy so its usually "he" or "him"

Things get a little messy though when someone asks for a photo of me (I think I'm pretty boyish looking and my figure doesn't shout "FEMALE" but I still have some feminine features) Even worse is when someone says "hey we should skype sometime!", and since they know I'm 19 I'm afraid they would suspect something cus yeah, my voice is either a girl or a little boy, NOT a 19-year old guy...

Ok back to subject, the only ones in my family that I've made my transgender issue clear for is my parents (even though I think my 2 brothers kinda knows that something fishy is going on) but yet I dont think my mom would ever be able to use "he" on me which makes me a little sad, but I know this whole thing is really hard for her too. For my dad I dunno, I think he's a little stuck in the middle, not knowing wether to support me or my mom lol poor guy

One thing I hate the most is being introduced as their daughter, I just feel like interrupting them in the middle of their sentences and switch subject

My irl friends know about it though and are pretty supportive, yet still calls me "she/her" kinda often and it stings but I try not to get too worked up about it. But sometimes even if I know they forget about the he/him-thing I just wanna tell them to try a little harder, I just dont know how much I can demand from them without making a too big fuss out of it. But I'm lucky that the (small but awesome) circle of my friends dont care all too much about gender-roles which is nice, and I think that if they TREAT me neutral or like a guy, the "she/her" and even the "he/him" doesnt have much meaning and seem like empty words...

Sometimes it cant be helped to be called girl, even if it hurts enough to make me cry or upset or angry, in the end I try not to whine too much (though I'm very good at it lol)

[Guest Shaun.Olsen]

It used to bug me... but as the years got on i learned to live with it..... i figure as long as the ones that matter know who i am and refer to me as such who gives a rats huh???

think my biggest issue is bathroom breaks... scares the hell outta me.... its torture girls .... or .... men.... go to the girls, women run out screaming... to the mens face being flogged...... hence i dont go out much

[Guest Nay!]

When people refer to me as 'she' etc, it drives me up the wall. In my head I'll be screaming and going off my rocker, outside I just smile, nod and walk away... quickly.

I had it recently, and I corrected him that I was really a guy and he was very apologetic. He seemed really sorry and embarressed about it. I think everyone else heard me correct him, because I got 'he' for the rest of the day.

The worst I've come across is 'it', 'she' and 'her' I can almost handle... but IT! I'm about ready to kill anyone who says that to me.

[Guest harvester52]

think my biggest issue is bathroom breaks... scares the hell outta me.... its torture girls .... or .... men.... go to the girls, women run out screaming... to the mens face being flogged...... hence i dont go out much

I've been using men's restrooms for quite awhile now and nobody has given me a second glance. With how well you pass, Shaun, I don't think using the men's room would be a problem for you at all, even without an STP. There's some guys that sit to pee either for medical reasons or just personal preference. Even if you feel uncomfortable peeing sitting down, you can always spend a few extra moments in the stall as if you were taking a crap. That's usually what I do at work.

The key is not to seem awkward in there. Just go in, do your business, wash your hands, and get out. Don't even make eye contact with anybody.

-BC

[Guest Drew]

The worst I've come across is 'it', 'she' and 'her' I can almost handle... but IT! I'm about ready to kill anyone who says that to me.

i hate that too, it's like they're not even acknowledging (sp?) you as a person...i'm still getting that from my mom's family

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

i hate that too, it's like they're not even acknowledging (sp?) you as a person...i'm still getting that from my mom's family

I still can't believe people would actually call you that. Wow...that's so crazy. Who ever knew that pronouns could be such a big deal to people!

[Guest Drew]

I still can't believe people would actually call you that. Wow...that's so crazy. Who ever knew that pronouns could be such a big deal to people!

it is kind of ridiculous...they have a hard time getting aroung their personal prejudices though...my mom is still sending me pamphlets for breast augmentation surgery and laser hair removal

i really don't understand why pronouns are so difficult...it's a one letter difference

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

it is kind of ridiculous...they have a hard time getting aroung their personal prejudices though...my mom is still sending me pamphlets for breast augmentation surgery and laser hair removal

i really don't understand why pronouns are so difficult...it's a one letter difference

Oh jeez, the breast augmentation pamphlets?? Seriously?

You know what you should do? Maybe send her some phallus enhancement or Enzyte pamphlets in response. Of course, that might be just stooping down to her level...but it might make a point about how ridiculous what she's doing is.

My mom is going to be very sad when I come out to her, but I don't think she'll try to change me. She's known me for quite a while and knows I don't do things lightly...this is no exception.

[Guest Drew]

Oh jeez, the breast augmentation pamphlets?? Seriously?

You know what you should do? Maybe send her some phallus enhancement or Enzyte pamphlets in response. Of course, that might be just stooping down to her level...but it might make a point about how ridiculous what she's doing is.

My mom is going to be very sad when I come out to her, but I don't think she'll try to change me. She's known me for quite a while and knows I don't do things lightly...this is no exception.

i should send her some Enzyte pamphlets...i'm sure i could even get a free sample somewhere...for now i'll use that as a last resort (although it'll take some restraint ) she's been calling me practically non stop about it... she got so excited when my girlfriend answered the phone because she thought it was me and that i was finally "coming around" ...sometimes i feel bad for my mom...

in a way you're lucky that your mom knows you don't do things lightly, my mom just doesn't know me that well on the whole...she thinks i'm just some stupid kid trying to get attention.

i hope things go better for you with your mom than they did with my mother and i.

[Guest Nicholas Aiden]

in a way you're lucky that your mom knows you don't do things lightly, my mom just doesn't know me that well on the whole...she thinks i'm just some stupid kid trying to get attention.

That's exactly how my mom reacts to my thoughts and feelings, I understand you totally. How do we deal with that? How can we make our parents stop looking at us like we're twelve years old... I mean seriously, I'm almost 21 and work full time, can I get some respect here?

[Guest JayJaye]

That's exactly how my mom reacts to my thoughts and feelings, I understand you totally. How do we deal with that? How can we make our parents stop looking at us like we're twelve years old... I mean seriously, I'm almost 21 and work full time, can I get some respect here?

Good luck with that! I'm 47 and my parents still treat me like I'm 12! Never mind that every decision I've made was carefully researched and thought out (including transitioning), but all they see is the announcement and never the process. They've never supported me in the more ordinary things I've done (running 2 marathons, raising huge sums for charity, traveling cross country in an RV, living abroad, getting a doctorate) so why would I ever expect them to understand or support me as I transition? I'm sure they'll see it as I've totally gone mad. No sane person would ever transition!!!

Jay

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Good luck with that! I'm 47 and my parents still treat me like I'm 12! Never mind that every decision I've made was carefully researched and thought out (including transitioning), but all they see is the announcement and never the process. They've never supported me in the more ordinary things I've done (running 2 marathons, raising huge sums for charity, traveling cross country in an RV, living abroad, getting a doctorate) so why would I ever expect them to understand or support me as I transition? I'm sure they'll see it as I've totally gone mad. No sane person would ever transition!!!

Jay

Here, here! I'm 30 and my parents (mostly just my mom) still treat me like I'm 12...or maybe 15. It's like any decision that I make that she doesn't agree with is somehow "wrong". I guess that's just the way things are.

[Guest Nicholas Aiden]

Is there anyway to deal with parents who act that way. Like, no matter how much evidence or how many times I explain my feelings about things to my mother she never thinks my emotions are necesary. She thinks I create my problems and that I strive to be "different" and so I choose to do outlandish things. Okay, so I dyed my hair a lot in high school, whatever... all the other stuff I did to be different(shave my head, dress manly, and date girls) are all things a normal guy could do. What's so different about that?

Don't get me wrong, she's suggested I see a therapist, but I think she expects them to fix me. I don't think she'd be as happy to hear my "fix" will match my body to my mind, not the other way around. *roll*

[Guest Drew]

That's exactly how my mom reacts to my thoughts and feelings, I understand you totally. How do we deal with that? How can we make our parents stop looking at us like we're twelve years old... I mean seriously, I'm almost 21 and work full time, can I get some respect here?

the day my mom starts treating me like i'm 12 will be an improvement...she still treats me like i'm 4 or 5....sometimes it's very hard for parents to grasp the fact that we're not little kids anymore....i'll probably be 40 and have a family and my mom will still be calling to tell me i've f*cked up everybodies lives and that i should grow up...as she does now.

sometimes i get so frustrated with her, she won't even let me ignore her! she calls me every couple of days to tell me that i'm a failure and just an irresponsible little kid....i have a serious job, i make my own money (have been since i was 14), i save people's lives on a daily basis (i work as a paramedic), those aren't things that irresponsible little kids do! i could go into a whole big rant about how my mom is the real child (she hasn't worked since i was 10, she makes her money off alimony and child support) but i won't. grrr...seriously, if anyone's got a solution (barring a restraining order) i'm all ears.