Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My Coming Out Plan


Guest laeta_lacrima

Recommended Posts

Guest laeta_lacrima

I'm thinking of finally coming out to my parents. I've come out to everyone else, but I didn't want to make living with my parents uncomfortable if they didn't take it well. My plan to move to California as soon as I turn 18 in two months has been cemented and no matter how they handle it, I'll be fine. So I kind of want to tell them.

My plan is to wait until my girlfriend is here, which will be just a few days, and then we'll go to dinner with my parents and I'll tell them there, that way my girlfriend will be there to hold my hand while I tell them. The dinner table is where I'm used to telling my parents things. I don't want it to feel like a big thing, I was thinking of just asking my mom what she thought of all the girl's clothes I've been buying. That's something I'm comfortable with discussing and then the rest will fit nicely.

I didn't want to bring it up before because I don't like announcements, I mainly like to just discuss things. I think this will be the perfect way to discuss being transsexual. What do you think? Are there any precautions I should take? Any flaws in my plan?

Nervous!

-Laeta

Link to comment
Guest laeta_lacrima

Oops! I accidentally posted this in the parents of transsexual kids forum. My bad. This is where I meant to post it!

Edited by laeta_lacrima
merged the topic for clarity
Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

It seems a good plan. I would use the word 'transgendered" instead of transsexual, to show this is a gender dysphoria, not a sexual orientation choice, or a lifestyle choice.

And be prepared for them to be a little quiet on this - unless you are already pretty obvious. Parents have all these visions in their head of who you are and where you are going - suddenly that all will be changed.

Finally, they will usually take a cue from you - so be adult and positive. Let them know you are serious and yet you are happy and confident in what you are and where you are going.

Best wishes, and let us know how it works out!

Lizzy

Link to comment

Laeta hon,

I told my stepfather when i was over for dinner, i waited till we were almost finished, and it worked for me, so if that is where everyone is comfy discussing things go for it, just keep what you say short and too the point, if things go badly at least you are moving soon.

Best of luck.

Paula

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

.

My opinion?

Well, telling then over dinner sounds fine, but you said... "and then we'll go to dinner with my parents"...

So, I'll assume that you'll be in a public place...

In that setting, they may be a little more restrained to talk openly about it to you...

Just a thought...

Good luck, Honey...

Huggs

Donna Jean

Link to comment
  • Admin

Laeta, I think your plan sounds fine, and having your GF there for support is also a really good idea.

I tend to agree with Donna Jean, but it can work in a restaurant if you're careful to choose one that has a quiet atmosphere,

and you don't have to shout to be heard. They need to be able to pay close attention to you, not to what's going on around you.

Let us know how it goes, OK?

Carolyn

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 76 Guests (See full list)

    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • JenniferB
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Mealaini
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ivy
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,104
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Nicola_Atherton
    Newest Member
    Nicola_Atherton
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bobbijean
      Bobbijean
    2. Bryan
      Bryan
      (61 years old)
    3. jlw5ju
      jlw5ju
      (27 years old)
    4. ladykirabellum
      ladykirabellum
      (47 years old)
    5. Lizzie17
      Lizzie17
  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Free?!?!  That's insane.  I can understand perhaps mistaking somebody's well equipped garage as a business, but demanding free work is ridiculous.   My GF once remarked that while few things in life are free, butt-kickings are an exception. She offers those free-of-charge, to any who ask. A little charity helps the world go round 🤣
    • Ivy
      I had a CDL when I was working for the city.  But I let it go when I retired.  I couldn't justify paying so much just to drive myself around.
    • Ivy
      While I'm sure the "Founders" had the 30 years war, etc. on their minds, they didn't write the constitution as considering only Christian sects. The early colonists (I used the word) did mostly come from areas of "christian culture" but it's hard to reconcile some of their actions with what Christ himself taught.   Christians have a right to their beliefs, but there are a lot of American citizens that do not consider themselves "christian."  I have seen writings where the US was specifically said not to be a "Christian Nation". "The 1797 Treaty of Tripoli that sought to secure America from attacks by the so-called Barbary pirates who were Muslim made a point to say that the United States "is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.""    It shouldn't be difficult to understand why the "Christian Nationalist" movement makes some of us uncomfortable.  
    • EasyE
    • Adrianna Danielle
      She wanted it done now for free,I hate the Karen's whom are a pain in the butt
    • EasyE
      just found a cute pair of denim shorts with flowers embroidered in two places on the front ... daring myself to wear them around family today ... the flowers match the deep rose of the t-shirt I just bought... 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not to justify it, but this is what happens when folks rely on accepting money from the government.  It just isn't secure!  When the times change and different winds blow, you find yourself coming up short on funds.  Don't trust the feds, don't trust the state.    I don't believe in separation of church and state.  I believe the USA is a Christian nation, but that Congress doesn't make an establishment of which kind of church that refers to.  Reading the writings left by the Founders (who were mostly Christian or Deist), I think it is pretty clear that they wanted to avoid the bloody Protestant vs. Catholic conflicts that had been going on in Europe for the previous 250 years.    I think one huge problem is that we've had a separation of culture and state already.  There's been an abandonment of traditional American culture, or at least a significant change in it.  People often act servile, not independent.  People seek government help rather than taking care of themselves and those around them.  Its like everybody is waiting for an answer, like baby birds in the nest chirping to have something delivered to them from up above.    To me, the federal government has two purposes - to keep foreign forces and influence out of our territory, and to tax foreign trade to protect domestic economy.  They've pretty much failed at both. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, yes!  Its how I met my two trans friends.  My husband helped to arrange jobs and housing for both of them.  And in the process, they also fell in love, and so far their relationship is going well.  I'm glad to have been part of helping out.
    • KathyLauren
      I am not sure what "it" you are asking about.  The surgery, or the increased urgency of peeing?   I haven't felt any increased urgency.  I can hold it for as long as I used to, I think.  One thing that is different is that, once I start, it is almost impossible to stop the flow.  My pelvic floor physio said I had really good control of my pelvic floor muscles, but it didn't help with that.   My goal for surgery was just to have a female body.  I think I was foreseeing the persecution that is rising now.  Part of my reasoning, though I didn't plan it out clearly in those terms, was that I would be able to pass a strip-search gender check.  I was thinking more about passing in locker rooms, but passing in police lineups may be more necessary if certain political elements get their way.  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow.  That's crazy that somebody just comes onto your private place and starts demanding stuff.  You're absolutely right to press charges.  It seems like there's very little respect for private property these days. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, my husband has two different job titles at his company.  He's transportation manager, and also one of the project managers.  Its funny because he's got an office in the main building, and a smaller one in the transportation building, and he's rarely in either one.  He's got three site foremen who report to him, and also the shop supervisor and drivers' supervisor.  So he usually spends his days at installation sites, meeting clients, or handling all the paperwork that keeps the transportation side of the business compliant with FMCSA rules.    But he's definitely a truck driver by personality, and he taught me how to drive and helped me get my CDL.  Kind of a backup option for a job if I ever needed one.  I think this week is going to be one of those "all hands on deck" kind of occasions, so we'll probably take a load or two.  I'm looking forward to it.  Its really funny when I'm driving and we get into a truck stop.  I get out of the cab, and I get a lot of stares because of my size and looking like I'm a teenager.  And we get more stares when we share a shower.  
    • Lydia_R
      Yep, this thing is a red flag that people should be super aware of on this site.  I've been working from home exclusively for 12 years.  I'm a house cat like that, so this isn't much of a deterrent for me.  I've been venturing out into the women's restrooms a little bit lately, but as is typical of people like me, I'm just in there to do my business and get out.  I avoid that as much as I can and use those single bathrooms whenever I can.  I went over a year without going to a public restroom.  I just don't go out much.   I haven't stood to pee in 7 years now.  The idea of surgery is very, very scary for me (I wrote a book about it).  I'm likely going to do it though.  I would like some evidence from other transwomen of what it is really like.  I'm not one to take plane flights, but taking a flight for that is well justified.  Before my testosterone was blocked, there was a much larger sexual side to M->F transition.  Now sexuality plays a back seat to the idea of wanting to pee like a woman.  It's always been in my mind, but the desire for that has grown.   Respectfully, Lydia_R
    • April Marie
      Just a black skort and a yellow t-shirt with sneakers today.
    • Birdie
      Wearing my new top for my Zoom meeting today. ☺️
    • Lydia_R
      I've gotten to the point lately where I'm thinking of the extension of the separation of church and state to separation of culture and state.  Government's purpose to ensure a construct of civility.  Food, clothing, shelter and justice for the individual.  That includes the roads as far as they pertain to the distribution of food, clothing and shelter.  And "ensure" is different than "provide".   I think that there is no way to truly express yourself or have a good foundation without having a personal culture.  I like telling stories and teaching lessons through my culture, but I always hope that people don't think I'm promoting my culture beyond it just being visible as an option.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...