Post-Op Depression?

[Guest kelise]

Ok, I've read and heard many a horror story of regret, remorse, depression, what have you, coming on after surgery. For those of you who experienced this, when did they begin? Immediatly? One month? Three months? A year? Longer?

[Guest KimberlyF]

I have zero experience w/this but from what I've read (and who knows if it's true since there isn't the Mayo Clinic TS wing)In one case it's about the same time periods as a lot of post partum depression when it's the same cause-rebalancing of hormone levels. So I'd GUESS 2-6 weeks would be fairly common if that were the cause of the depression.

My wife had PP at about 3 weeks after #2. Just couldn't stop crying.

Kim

[Paula ult]

Here is a link Michelle H posted October 23, in it she says "For reasons that are not clear, the depression hits its peak around the end of month 3. From what Dr. McGinn has said, this peak around the end of the third month is very typical. I went in to see my gender counselor for one of my regular visits, she took one look at me and wanted to call 911 and send me to the hospital – it took the full hour of the session to talk her out of it – that session was at the 90 mark. In another week, I will be at the 120-day mark and the depression is finally clearing."

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=25729

Paula

[Guest kelise]

Actually, I read that post, but already can see my and MichelleH's experiences are very different. For one, I have experienced phantom limb and it's very annoying. Getting better though. And as for depression, other trhan that small amount while on painkillers I have felt nothing but being on cloud 9 since my surgery. I am now almost 1 month post-op and I was just wondering if this is something that comes later. We'll see what happens at 3 months.

[Drea]

I think regrets and depression are quite different things. So, not sure in your poll there lumping them together is fair.

Some do experience a bit of depression right after surgery from almost immediate to months after, but the far more common result is a great deal of relief. It is almost a state of euphoria and many do describe it as the post-op euphoria phase.

By far the most common period of depression among those I know seems to occur 2 to 3 years after surgery. This is not the most visible within the community as by that time most post-op have drifted away. The roots of this depression are fairly clear and easy to understand in my opinion. While I didn't get depressed, and many don't, I been through the associated mental processes. I believe this very different than the depression one might encounter a few months after surgery. I can't really comment on the near term depression but if you would like me to elaborate on the roots of the further out depression, just let me know or drop me a PM.

[Drea]

I have felt nothing but being on cloud 9 since my surgery

lol, you posted that while I was posting. So you are experiencing common post-op euphoria!! I say enjoy it and not to worry. It probably won't be wearing off anytime soon.

[Guest kelise]

You're right. I know regret and depression are very different. I modified the poll to just say negative feelings. I would love to hear more on any sort of depression at any time, because I just don't see it. I feel happier than I've ever felt in my life!

[Guest Jenni_S]

I did have some negativity immediately afterwards, mainly in the form of a big emotional drain. So many emotions surging around in my head in the last couple of months leading up to my hospital visit, and just getting stronger and stronger! Then BOOM!, it's done. There was a lot of relief, but then, all those emotions (excitement, nervous, apprehension (never had *any* surgery previously), happiness, giddiness, and many, many more!) had no reason to be there anymore. I'd just achieved a major goal, which had taken up a sizable chunk of my time, and, "Well, what NOW?" echoed through my head.

That only lasted a few days, though. It just took some thinking and realizing "Now? Get out there and get on with your life!" After discussing it with my therapist on my return, it was a lot like when you complete any big goal in life; graduating from school, getting married, having a child, or what have you. Things have suddenly changed immensely, and it takes a bit of time to get used to the new. And you can always set a new goal, too!

So now, a new goal? I'm just being the best parent I can be, and really loving it!

[Guest Donna Jean]

I have felt nothing but being on cloud 9 since my surgery.

Well, Honey

All that I can add right now is to wish that this is the only feeling that you get from it.....forever!

Huggs

Dee Jay

[JJ]

As I understand it post surgical depression-regardless of the surgery -is a common phenomenon. I have read different theories about its causes-the major ones being the over production of adrenalin leading up to a surgery causes a depression when it drops back to normal and a lingering reaction to anesthesia in sensitive individuals. Apparently some traces can actually take weeks or months to completely clear your system.

I had an emergency surgery several years ago and my Dr cautioned me about the possible depression after the surgery.

If you aren't showing any signs I'd just enjoy the happiness you are feeling and not anticipate any depression.

The depression that occurs years later is also not an across the board occurrence

but more related to the personality of the person than any results from SRS. If you have lived many years of your life with depression it becomes a default mode to life stressors. And there are plenty of those whether you are trans or not.

I've watched your journey and been amazed at your attitude and strength.

Enjoy! You earned it.

Hugs

John

[Drea]

would love to hear more on any sort of depression at any time, because I just don't see it. I feel happier than I've ever felt in my life!

You make me chuckle Kelsie and I totally mean it in a good way. I could say I could tell you more and ruin it, but really, at this point, virtually nothing can ruin it. I know quite well the feeling and I look forward to future intellectual discussion on the subject. You WILL understand be you find it depressing at the time or not.

The depression that occurs years later is also not an across the board occurrence

but more related to the personality of the person than any results from SRS. If you ave lived many years of your life wit depression it becomes a default mode to life stressors. And there are plenty of those whether you are trans or not.

The emotional process resulting in the depression is one that virtually all MTF will go through a few years post SRS. It may not lead to outright depression, but it will have its impact. Of course those more prone to depression will experience it more in a depressive way.

The really cool thing, in my opinion, is the mental processes are needed and its too bad they almost never happen before SRS.

I think Jenni touched on some of it in her comments.

[Guest KimberlyF]

I feel happier than I've ever felt in my life!

OMG you could have lead with this

I made my post cause I was wondering what was up with where you were at and I know a few girls who had issues with the being pulled off the estro around the surgery time and then getting the lower dosages after and no more spiro and it just took a little adjustment period.

Kim

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

I've had major surgery (twice) but, I had no depression of any sort...maybe it was the massive doses of morphine...

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

Kairi I hope you never have post-op depression but if you do we will be here for you and to comfort you until you get passed it.

I will say that when I was in the hospital for 5 days this year because of stomach problems, I was severly depressed. My heartbeat dropped in the 30's after a procedure and had to wear a heart monitor for 4 days until it stabilized. Along with a IV bag it was not fun. All I could do was lay there in the bed 24 hours a day. At least they had me on morphine and it didn't hurt that much.

What got me through this was the members of Laura's. I was on here with my phone of course reading and replying to posts. I am very appreciative to everyone here. We will do the same for you Kairi if needed or anyone else that needs help.

[Guest kelise]

Thank you all! You are too sweet! Like I said, I'm not experiencing depression of any sort right now. It just seems lately I've seen a barrage of disscussions about it, both on and off LP. People saying it comes later. Some saying regret, others saying definately not regret. I just wanted to know the average amount of time after surgery these feelings came on, So I know when I can officially say, "Nope, didn't get them," or when I should expect to get them, or what.

[Guest DésiréeG]

I'd just achieved a major goal, which had taken up a sizable chunk of my time, and, "Well, what NOW?" echoed through my head.

I was worried that this would happen to me, so I did two things well before surgery. One was to not think of GRS as the culmination of my life. I'd be the same person after as I was before. Any problems I went into the hospital with I'd be taking home with me. If you can understand that, you cut down the risk for depression a lot. GRS removes the physical package, not the emotional baggage.

Second, I made sure I had other goals, plans and challenges in my life. Yes, going through RLT, HRT and evntually GRS was a huge part of my life, no denying it. But ultimately, it's really only a small part of who I am, so I made sure not to be in a situation where afterward I'd say "I've reached my biggest goal in life. What do I do now?"

[Guest N. Jane]

37 years and not a moment's regret let alone depression......

Maybe it takes longer ...... LOL!

[Guest valeriedances]

Ok, I've read and heard many a horror story of regret, remorse, depression, what have you, coming on after surgery. For those of you who experienced this, when did they begin? Immediatly? One month? Three months? A year? Longer?

I had depression after surgery for several reasons. Mostly because it was painful and I had complications (a real bad fourchette tear) to cope with. There seemed to be alot of trauma to the area overall and this was hard to deal with emotionally. My body was in a state of shock. This was a recovery issue, not regret. It would have been the same for any other body part that was affected similarly.

I was also affected by not understanding my new body, if I had a clitoris or not. There was numbness that lasted many months and my mind couldnt reconcile the various parts of my vagina compared to photos of natal women. Because of swelling, scabbing, numbness, I didnt really know if I had one. I thought if I did, it must be buried under the skin.

Thirdly, I was affected negatively by disclosure. I tried too soon to meet men, and dealing with rejection while still in a healing mode was not good.

I am doing much better emotionally now. My healing is complete (I am one year post-op tomorrow) and I have had a whole year to adjust. I love my vagina and BA, my body is just amazing to me. I'm very happy. The dysphoria is gone. This was the best decision of my life.

peace to you all. I'm glad to be here.

-Valerie

[Guest kelise]

Welcome, Valerie! I wonder if I know you. Are you near Orlando?

I'm sorry you had so many complications. Who was your surgeon? I had a lot of success with Dr. Bowers. She gave me a grand tour of my anatomy, so I knew right where my clit was. Only took me a few weeks to find my G-spot, and my clit started working again after 3 months. I'm six months now, and apart from a little hypersensitivity along my incisions, I seem to be 100%. Worst problems I had was a little granulation on the back of my vaginal opening, and a case of bacterial vaginosis, both of with have gone away. I'm also lucky enough to have a LTR with an amazing woman, so I'm not worried about relationship issues at this time. I guess I'm just REALLY lucky:)

[Guest valeriedances]

Welcome, Valerie! I wonder if I know you. Are you near Orlando?

I'm sorry you had so many complications. Who was your surgeon? I had a lot of success with Dr. Bowers. She gave me a grand tour of my anatomy, so I knew right where my clit was. Only took me a few weeks to find my G-spot, and my clit started working again after 3 months. I'm six months now, and apart from a little hypersensitivity along my incisions, I seem to be 100%. Worst problems I had was a little granulation on the back of my vaginal opening, and a case of bacterial vaginosis, both of with have gone away. I'm also lucky enough to have a LTR with an amazing woman, so I'm not worried about relationship issues at this time. I guess I'm just REALLY lucky:)

Hi kelise

I live in South Florida, so it's possible we've met. I dont seem to venture out of my area too often. I had surgery in Montreal with Dr. Brassard. My result appearance is quite excellent with good sensitivity. I'd more detail, but that is beyond the scope of this thread, so will save that for another time.

Wow, A G-spot. I've tried to find one but havent really noticed an area internally that feels extra wonderful while trying to ...you know, learn about my body.

Glad to hear your healing went so well and that your feeling 100% well. Also, happy to hear the good news on your relationship. It's wonderful to be accepted by a lover.

Disclosure is very difficult, especially with men. But my hopes are strong and will keep dating and looking for the right guy for me. I have a promising date for Friday and will just see how it goes.

thanks for the welcome.

-Valerie

[Guest kelise]

That's wonderful! Good luck on Friday!

[Guest kelise]

Just thought I'd update. I am now 1 year and 1 month post-op and still feel no depression or regret regarding my surgery.

[Drea]

Let us know when you reach the year mark and are past that 2-3 year period. Certainly not all experience it.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Just thought I'd update. I am now 1 year and 1 month post-op and still feel no depression or regret regarding my surgery.

Good for you, Kelise........

I'm sure that the dreaded "Post OP Depression" doesn't hit everyone.

Another of those "Everyone Experiences It" myths.......

Good luck, Hon!

Huggs

Dee Jay