Tired Of The Remarks

[Guest rondalynn]

I am a Disabled Vet. I am a full time MTF pre-op. I have been very depressed for a while, I attend a depression group weekly at the VA med Ctr. I was aproved for a work program for retraining. There is no dress codes for this program but yet I am told to go get a mans hair cut and buy a tie! If this is not discrimination what is? Then when i went back next week to return proper paper work in ( nicely dressed in skirt ,blouse, and heels) they blew me off! I have been retained there for suicide earlier, All I was trying to do is better myself for a job. now im so lost!

[Carolyn Marie]

Hello, Rondalyn, and welcome to the Playground.

I'm very sorry to hear about your problem with the VA. We have many members who have had good experiences with them, which makes

your experience all the more frustrating.

I don't know much about how VA facilities are structured, but I assume they have something akin to a Patient advocate or ombudsperson.

If they do, you should talk to them, perhaps even file a complaint. You are not in an in-patient program, and if they know you are trans, they have no right to dictate that kind of dress code or tell you what kind of haircut to get. You are seeking assistance there,

not in prison or lockdown. I just hate ignorance, and the people you are dealing with are clearly ignorant.

I hope others with more experience with this will come by to help. Please post an introduction when you are ready, too. It will be

nice for people to get to know you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest JaniceW]

Hi Rondalynn,

Welcome to Laura's. I am very sorry to hear about the poor experience you had at the VA, ignorance can be found everywhere. We have a number of folks here who are working throught the VA and I am sure they will be right along to share some ideas with you on how to address this situation.

In the meantime, come on in and have a seat, kick off your shoes and relax. The virtual goodie cart should be along shortly.

[Sally]

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles with the VA.

I want you to feel a great deal more welcome here so I am going to bring you our traditional greeting of my fresh baked cookies and some of the delicious hot cocoa that Donna Jean makes - it is cool enough here tonight to really enjoy holding that mug in both hands and feeling the warmth rising from the surface - do you feel it?

That warmth is not really from mthe cocoa it is from all of the kind herats here in the forums, it is generated by their love and caring for each other and now, quess what - you are a part of our family and you are invited to share the warmth, the caring and the love.

Welcome.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

I am a Disabled Vet. I am a full time MTF pre-op. I have been very depressed for a while, I attend a depression group weekly at the VA med Ctr. I was aproved for a work program for retraining. There is no dress codes for this program but yet I am told to go get a mans hair cut and buy a tie! If this is not discrimination what is? Then when i went back next week to return proper paper work in ( nicely dressed in skirt ,blouse, and heels) they blew me off! I have been retained there for suicide earlier, All I was trying to do is better myself for a job. now im so lost!

Hello, Rondalynn...

Welcome to the Playground!

I'm Donna Jean

I'm 60 and a Vietnam vet..full time and 21 months HRT...

Come on over here and have a seat...I want to make you comfortable with some of Sally's cookies and a hot cup of my awesome coco!

Then you can kick off your shoes and relax...ok?

Now, I'd like to ask you to be sure to have a look at the forum rules...there's a link at the top of most pages...It says “Terms & Conditions..

And, we moderate this site to keep it safe for everyone..

Ok, listen....

Most VA's have an advocate that you can address complaints to..I think you should seek them out and and tell them your experiences...Afterall, if you're full time, why in heavens name would you wear a tie and cut your hair?

That's seriously stupid...

Honey...lets talk about this some..ok?

Come on back here and we'll go over some stuff...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest rondalynn]

Hi Donna jean, It is nice to meet you. I am filing a complaint at this time at the advocate. Love to chat with you some time. thank you for your reply back.

rondalynn

[Guest rondalynn]

Thank you Carolyn marie, JaniceW, Sally, and donna jean

Thank you for caring,It is very nice to meet other caring girls.

Huggs

rondalynn