I Feel Hopeless

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Well folks i drinking lately a lot.As i said in the topic title i feel hopeless, i dunno what to do and how to get out of my situation. Not enough money for needed clothes and accessories and i afraid about my appearance. I dunno how i will looks like. I don't want to become a grotesque gnome. Either i dont want looks like a gay or anything, i just want to appears as a girlboy.

I drink now every day a lot of cola-rum from the start of the day till when i was go to sleep. The worst thing i need to take pills because of my mental disease (i schizophrenic), so it's very good to drink with pills... (just ironic) I cant stop with this.

Thats all.

Please calm me down somehow.

[Carolyn Marie]

Gabi, honey, take a few deep breaths and try to calm down, OK?

I don't know what your situation is, Gabi, but please believe me when I tell you that it is NEVER hopeless. No matter how bleak

the situation seems at this moment, it won't stay that way. Things to do get better.

If the avatar is a picture of you, you have every reason to feel good about your appearance. You look great in that photo. Even

the photo on your profile shows me that you have excellent potential, if you grow out your hair or wear a wig. You have good

facial features and with hormones you will make great progress.

Things take time, Gabi. Buy little things to make you feel more feminine, like panties and girls socks. They are very inexpensive.

They can't be seen by others, but you will know you have them on, and believe me, it does help with the dysphoria.

Have patience, hon. Please stop drinking, as you won't be able to get on HRT if you continue to have a drinking problem. We have

a Chat session every week, and good advice to be found in the Alcohol Abuse Forum. You can also log into Chat and they can help

you with a crisis.

We care about you, Gabi. You can make it, girl.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Opal]

Hi Gabi,

Just wanted to second what Carolyn had to say, and please keep in touch with us. You can do it by posting more, PM, or by going over to Chat.

The Rum may have seemed to helped at first, but it is now working against you, so somehow you will need to gather the strength to leave the Rum out of your drink. You show strength by posting here, so please try to do this.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Gabi, honey, take a few deep breaths and try to calm down, OK?

I don't know what your situation is, Gabi, but please believe me when I tell you that it is NEVER hopeless. No matter how bleak

the situation seems at this moment, it won't stay that way. Things to do get better.

If the avatar is a picture of you, you have every reason to feel good about your appearance. You look great in that photo. Even

the photo on your profile shows me that you have excellent potential, if you grow out your hair or wear a wig. You have good

facial features and with hormones you will make great progress.

Things take time, Gabi. Buy little things to make you feel more feminine, like panties and girls socks. They are very inexpensive.

They can't be seen by others, but you will know you have them on, and believe me, it does help with the dysphoria.

Have patience, hon. Please stop drinking, as you won't be able to get on HRT if you continue to have a drinking problem. We have

a Chat session every week, and good advice to be found in the Alcohol Abuse Forum. You can also log into Chat and they can help

you with a crisis.

We care about you, Gabi. You can make it, girl.

Carolyn Marie

Sadly i can't take hormones because my psichiatrist don't allow me to do this and they dont want make a normal diagnosis about my problem because i also schizophrenic so they just see in me the madman.

HRT? Absolutely hopeless....Just check my message. They dont want make a normal good diagnosis because of my mental illness. They are ignorant.

Another thing: Androgynous men can take hormones?

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Hi Gabi,

Just wanted to second what Carolyn had to say, and please keep in touch with us. You can do it by posting more, PM, or by going over to Chat.

The Rum may have seemed to helped at first, but it is now working against you, so somehow you will need to gather the strength to leave the Rum out of your drink. You show strength by posting here, so please try to do this.

Huggs,

Opal

I dunno i can do it or not. I have very bad experiences with therapists so i afraid of them and dont want to go to one of them for help. They never help me.

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Other reasons for drinking:

1.:no one in my family have now job, included me. We are live by own emergency reserve.

2.:my gmom was died not a long ago.

3.:maybe streets awaits because i have a hateful older sister who want everything. Little explanation: my father was died in cancer long ago (10 yrs about) and the house where i now live is registered for my gmom name who was died. Legacy negotiation is coming soon. Maybe i lose my home.

4.:past week my mother was got into hospital because of stroke. She's ill now and maybe cant work in a job.

5.:Maybe i also cant work because i down percentaged because of my mental disease, so i cant take any jobs. I mean i can take jobs but matters what it is.

6.:need find a job but in hungary it's very hard. I unpassed thru 30 jobs and still no luck.

7.:my younger sister is have diabetes, and maybe she will die. I love her and i only have my mother and my younger sis.

And of course my noob gender probs.

Cool.

Every problems came in almost a same time.

I cry

[Guest Opal]

Hi Gabi,

Am very sorry to hear that the Therapists in your area have not worked out for you. Do you have any LGBT organizations near where you live? They may know of someone who would be able to help, and not be judgmental. They may also have programs for dealing with alcohol.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Hi Gabi,

Am very sorry to hear that the Therapists in your area have not worked out for you. Do you have any LGBT organizations near where you live? They may know of someone who would be able to help, and not be judgmental. They may also have programs for dealing with alcohol.

Huggs,

Opal

I really don't know. I will do a research when i can.

[Michelle 2010]

http://www.anonimalkoholistak.hu/

Hey, if you think your drinking is no longer working for you and making things even worse...

AA can teach you to understand how to accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can, and... over time, the wisdom to know the difference. Oh, and stay off the rum after you decide to put it down.

They also don't care if your schizophrenic. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. They can do alot, but not provide the desire. It sounds like your in a tuff spot. Maybe you can find what you need there? A little peace of mind?

Best Wishes

Michelle

[JJ]

Hi Gabi,

You've had some great suggestions and advise. It is hard not knowing what will happen. In most countries there are programs to help support you if you aren't able to work but I don't know about your country.

It does sound like everything is happening at once. That doesn't mean all the things you fear will happen. There will be difficulties but not all of the bad things will happen and often good things can suddenly surprise us.

When you feel like drinking come here and post or chat instead. You'll find love and acceptance here-people who care. A drink can't give you any of that.

Hugs

John

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Okay i now calmed down and feels happy! you all

(for now)

[Milly]

Hope it gets better for you than it has for me. *hugs* I don't drink, im more of a pothead. So I guess its not really comparable to yours. I smoke until I can't stand up and its gotten worse so I do know what getting outta control with drugs is like. Just know if you ever wanna talk im always here. Well usually, I work overnights but I usually still try to find some goof off time to text just be safe k?

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Hope it gets better for you than it has for me. *hugs* I don't drink, im more of a pothead. So I guess its not really comparable to yours. I smoke until I can't stand up and its gotten worse so I do know what getting outta control with drugs is like. Just know if you ever wanna talk im always here. Well usually, I work overnights but I usually still try to find some goof off time to text just be safe k?

I now feel careless. I was in chat today and i was talked with Michelle or how was ("dunno what is Michelle") is called i dont remember exactly for the name. Opened my eye and i changed some profile things and no..... I want that drink.

I will add you if i hit the add reply button.

Cya for now.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

This may sound flippant, but please stop and think it through. I STOPPED the pot smoking and drinking additive behavor.

How?

Shoes - I now buy shoes! Addition to shoes? Why not? Cheaper than dope and alcohol - easier on the body - and they last so much.... LONGER!

So I get down and HAVE TO DO SOMETHING??? Up comes the internet - in goes my credit card information - and I then KNOW beautiful shoes are coming my way! ADDICTION? I think a positive one...

Not trying to belittle alcohol and drug addiction here - just pointing out - try focusing on something you just LOVE! It seems to help diminish and refocus some of the causes of addiction.

Lizzy

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Okay then.

My plan: Buying every computer games what i want

[Milly]

Thats a good plan

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

Thats a good plan

Yeah but now changed everything in almost 1-2 hours. I depressed and feels very antisocial. I want brutally kill someone and destroying everything around me. I very agressive atm.

Today 7 hours ago i talked in the chat with one of the mods. She opened my eye about me but maybe she just messed up everything and i androgynous not MTF but the truth is i want become girl too much. I very unsure about myself.

I want ruin my life!

[Guest Opal]

Hi Gabi,

Well, if you decide you want to be androgynous, that is fine. It is a decision only you can make, please do not let anyone try to make it for you. Sorry that you are down again, any chance that the friend that you talked to on Chat yesterday might be back on?

Also, have you tried the site Michelle mentioned?

I do not mean to be so full of questions, just want to let you know people here on Laura's do care. Because of different schedules, it can sometimes take awhile before others drop by.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest Gabi-lotr]

I dunno when she's online again and yeah i know when the events starts. I mean meetings. I will show up or just try to be there, because it's starts for me at 3 am.